Safe Haven
by ShimmeringStar214
Summary: As a close friendship deepens, Sam discovers her soulmate where she least expects it. Sam and Daniel ship. Spoilers S1 to S8. M rating: some coarse language and nonexplicit adult situations.


Doctor Daniel Jackson wandered into the Stargate Command control room, his eyes glazed over as he mused about the information he'd just finished pulling together. This was heady stuff - if the race called the Touched of P3X-797 really were links to an earlier evolution of humankind, the hominids - think of the research they could do! The fact these hominids were living in harmony with the neighboring race in the Land of Light simply astounded him. He really needed to share this information with the SG-1 field unit commander, Colonel Jack O'Neill - maybe Jack could convince their base commander, General George Hammond, to allow SG-1 to go back to study the civilization at length.

"Jack! There you are," Daniel said, noticing Jack for the first time. "Got on the internet to do a little research on Australopithecus and… Wow. What happened to you?"

Jack shrugged. "Oh, I got into a little wrestling match with Carter."

Eyeing Jack's injury, Daniel wondered just how little it had been. After seeing Captain Samantha Carter's hand-to-hand combat skills against Turghan on Simarka, Daniel had developed a healthy respect for the physical prowess of his sole female teammate. "Why?" he asked Jack.

"I guess she's got whatever Johnson got. I had to drag her off to the infirmary," Jack explained.

"What - she start a fight with you like Johnson did with Teal'c?" Daniel asked. As much as it amused him to visualize the diminutive Johnson facing down their hulking Jaffa teammate, it was even more amusing to imagine Sam picking a fight with her commanding officer. He hadn't known Sam for as long as he'd known Jack, but he didn't have the impression that she was the type to do something like that; she seemed too by-the-book military to step that far out of line.

"No, she, uh…," Jack paused, the slightest hint of embarrassment creeping into his tone, "…she tried to seduce me."

Daniel felt like laughing. If she really had tried to seduce Jack, then Sam definitely had the virus was that was circulating around the base. Daniel couldn't see her with Jack any more than he could her with him. He struggled to keep from laughing. "Oh. You poor man."

"No, it wasn't like that," Jack said. "She was like a wild animal; she was nuts."

"Well, is she all right?" Daniel asked. This wasn't so amusing now. Given how strong she was, if she had lost control, how much force had Jack had to use in order to restrain her? He guessed she was probably injured. "I should go see her," he said, starting to move away.

Jack looked closely at Daniel. "Why?"

"What do you mean - 'why?'" Daniel asked him. He looked at Jack like he was crazy; why did he have to explain himself to Jack anyway? "Because I care about her," he answered defensively.

Jack grabbed Daniel's arm. "Care about her? What does that mean?"

Okay, Jack, Daniel thought, looking down at his captured arm. He knew his friend could be a little thick-headed sometimes, but this was getting ridiculous. He took a deep breath and adopted the tone of one talking to a child. "It means I care about her - she's my friend."

Jack's grip on his arm tightened as he said the word 'care' again. "Now let go!" Daniel told Jack, trying to pull away from him. What was he getting so bent out of shape for? Sam had been a friend to all of them, no more to any one of them than to the other. Daniel stopped pulling away from Jack. Was there something he had overlooked?

"She's not yours to care about," Jack hissed.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Daniel asked sharply. Jack really wasn't making much sense any more. Daniel tried wrenching his arm away from annoyed colonel, but Jack only succeeded in gaining a tighter grip on him.

"I'm talking about Samantha." Jack glowered at Daniel. "You just stay away from her, okay?"

Samantha? Daniel wondered. He'd never heard Jack call her anything except Captain or Carter. Samantha? What was going on between the two of them? Seduction… and Sam and Jack? Something just wasn't right here. He looked at Jack closely.

"Okay. Okay, Jack," Daniel said, trying to appease the angry man in front of him. "I think you should come with me to the infirmary, okay? Just let go of me and…" Daniel felt Jack pulling him forward, but he was unable to resist the stronger man. "Let go of my arm!" he finished as he felt something pop as his head whipped around.

Daniel realized as he hurtled into a nearby shelf that Jack had connected a hard right to his cheekbone. Time slowed down as Jack shoved him to the floor and slammed him with punch after punch. It seemed unreal, like some really bad, slow motion scene in a late night B-movie. All he could do was to lift his hands to his face, trying to protect himself from Jack's attack as the gate techs yelled for security.

Several large airmen yanked Jack off of him and Daniel remained motionless on the floor for a moment, dazed and hurt, struggling to catch his breath. What just happened? He gingerly felt his nose, wincing in pain and yanking his hand quickly away from it.

Airman Baker reached down a hand to help him up. "You okay?" she asked.

Daniel didn't answer, watching as Jack was hauled out of the control room. He guessed he was okay. He just needed someone to explain what the hell had just happened. He looked down at his hand - it was covered in bright red blood. Damn. Maybe he wasn't okay. He pinched his nose to stop the seeping blood. Well, at least he'd now get to see how Sam was doing.

-----------------

Daniel walked into the observation room, surprised to find Sam perched up on the bed in the middle of the room, the young girl they'd found alive on PX8-987 asleep in Sam's lap. Sam was watching the child's troubled expression and was slowly stroking the young girl's hair. It struck Daniel for the first time how maternal Sam was. He'd just assumed, since Sam usually seemed so attuned to Jack's militaristic attitude, that she wouldn't be so… feminine, so… maternal. Oh hell, Jackson, that's what you get for assuming something, he chided himself. You know better than that.

After Sam looked up, he put his hand up to his face, miming talking into a telephone receiver. Sam nodded and started to move away from the girl, who groggily awakened.

"Hey," Sam said. "How're you feeling? Listen, I have to go somewhere for a little while, but you're not going to be alone." Sam looked at Daniel. "Daniel's going to be here the whole time. Remember Daniel?"

Daniel smiled at the young girl. She didn't look too happy to be stuck with him.

"You're very brave, remember. I'll be back before you know it," Sam told her as she tried to ease off the bed.

"Please don't go," the girl said.

Daniel looked at the child in surprise and up at Sam who was equally surprised. The girl had talked - something she hadn't done since they'd found her.

"You feel like telling me your name?" Sam asked.

"Cassandra."

-----------------

Daniel twitched impatiently in the chair in the corridor outside Cassandra's room, anxious to see how the young woman was doing after all of the surgical procedures she'd just been put through. He shot up out of his chair when Sam finally exited the room.

"How is she?" he asked.

"She's fine. Sleeping," Sam answered.

Daniel looked at Sam closely. She needed sleep herself. She'd been with Cassandra nearly non-stop since they'd brought her back to the SGC. "Um, if you want, I can sit with her tomorrow; for a few hours."

Sam shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

"Okay," Daniel said, not trying to hide the regret in his voice. He wanted to give something back to Sam for showing so much compassion for the little girl. Few people he knew would be so selfless and dedicated to a child they barely knew anything about.

"I just… I want to do this," Sam said, slightly apologetically.

"Okay, but I guess what I'm saying is that you don't have to do this alone," Daniel emphasized. She didn't. He wanted to be here for his friend.

Sam gave him a tired smile. "Thanks," she said, rubbing his arm in acknowledgement before she walked away.

Daniel watched her as she slowly exited the corridor, a look of open admiration on his face.

-----------------

"Save yourself!" Sam yelled at Daniel, her long hair arcing back around her head as she swung around to face the blast doors. Daniel hesitated, confused. His Sam didn't have long hair. Why was she in civilian clothes? Where was her weapon? A deep furrow etched his forehead. Sam actually expected to stop the armed intruders with her bare hands?

He looked at the shimmering gate at the top of the ramp, then back at Sam. "That's an order!" Sam yelled above the gunfire that erupted as one of the blast doors were slowly forced open. Daniel's eyes widened; Sam's hair had suddenly shortened and she was in full battle dress uniform. She pointed him toward the gate and aimed her P-90 at the Jaffa warriors who were attempting to enter the gateroom. "Now, Daniel!"

He turned toward the gate ramp, but found he couldn't move even one step. Struggling against invisible restraints, he pushed toward the gate. He just couldn't move. Daniel shook his head at Sam and then fell to his knees as a blinding white light burst through the gateroom. "Sam!" he shouted as he lost sight of his friend.

He immediately bolted upright, finding himself tangled in infirmary bedsheets and drenched with sweat. Daniel squeezed his eyes shut several times, trying to shake the disorientation that spun crazily around in his head. He looked around the darkened infirmary. He was home. He wasn't in the alternate reality. The SGC wasn't being taken over by Apophis and the base wasn't on an auto-destruct sequence. His friends and teammates were still alive. He was still alive.

Daniel wiped the sweat from his forehead with the back of his uninjured arm, noticing as he dropped back onto the bed that a small bouquet of flowers had been set on the table next to him. He slowly reached over for the card - they were from Sam. She must have dropped them off while he'd been sleeping off the sedative Janet had given him.

He smiled at Sam's thoughtfulness. Beyond the obvious differences - hair length and the fact she hadn't gone into the military in the alternate reality, his Sam was a lot closer to the alternate Sam than she'd care to admit. He fingered the feathery ferns sprouting from the small arrangement. He was happy that things weren't so different.

Daniel bit back a soft chuckle, not wanting to attract the attention of the nurses nearby. Well, a few things had been different. His grin widened as he shut his eyes. He couldn't wait to tell Jack that he was engaged to his second-in-command in the alternate reality - Jack would have a fit.

-----------------

Sam could only shake her head at the beer bottles strewn around the mountainous stack of pizza boxes that littered Daniel's coffee table. She flipped the lid up on one pizza box and sniffed the contents. Leave it to Jack and Teal'c to hit and run without making any effort to clean up after themselves.

Daniel halted his litany of post-injury complaints to offer a sheepish grin. "Yeah, it is a little messy," he admitted, watching Sam gather together the empty bottles and carry them to the kitchen. "Now I didn't drink any of that, Sam," Daniel called out after her. "I know codeine and alcohol don't mix."

Sam returned and sat down on the couch next to him. "I didn't say you had," Sam said.

Daniel leaned back, wincing as he changed the position of his injured foot. "Now where was I?" he asked. "Oh yeah, now I remember…"

Sam grinned. Daniel had been fussing from the moment she'd arrived. She was tempted to just leave him alone for the rest of the evening, but she couldn't do that to her friend; he'd stick by her side if she were in his place.

"Okay, so I was finally able to see my wife," he muttered. "To talk to her without that damn symbiote's interference, and then she's killed. Another time I was drugged by some woman and taken against my will to act as her consort. Then I fall for Ke'ra, not knowing who she really was. I'd say it was a damn eventful year, Sam."

"Well, yeah, now that you put it that way," Sam conceded. It was better to not argue with him at this point. "Has anyone heard how Shyla or Ke'ra are doing?" she asked, cleaning the remaining mess off the coffee table.

Daniel shook his head. "I don't think any teams have been sent back to those planets yet."

"You were really taken with Ke'ra, weren't you?" Sam asked quietly. They all had been under the spell of the beautiful, generous woman who'd helped the people that she'd thought of as her own after they'd lost their memories in an industrial accident. It had taken Daniel the longest time to come to grips with the fact that he had been attracted to this woman who had in reality been Linea, the 'Destroyer of Worlds,' the woman who he'd earlier helped escape from the planet prison that she'd been banished to. It'd been hard initially for Sam to reconcile the two personalities, too; the gentle caregiver with the arrogant scientist.

Daniel nodded. "For what it's worth, yes, I was."

Crossing her arms, Sam leaned back on the couch and sighed. "Something that feels so right, sometimes we're not meant to ever have," she mused, whispering to no one in particular.

"Excuse me?" Daniel said, turning to her.

Hesitantly, Sam repeated her thought.

Daniel nodded in understanding. "Jonas," he said.

Sam shook her head. "No. Not him."

Daniel cocked his head sideways and raised his eyebrows.

Sam shook her head, indicating she really didn't want to talk about it. "It wouldn't be possible anyway."

Daniel took off his glasses to rub the bridge of his nose. "Me?" he asked with an impish grin.

Sam blinked hard, and then burst out laughing. "Right…"

The smile still plastered across her face, she studied Daniel closely. His piercing blue eyes were looking unswervingly into her own. His gentle teasing aside, Sam sensed there was some seriousness behind his question, and she felt a blush rise to her cheeks. Her smile disappeared under the directness of his gaze, and she began to busy herself with smoothing out the wrinkles in her jean skirt.

Daniel sensed her discomfort and slid his glasses back on. "So which movies did you bring?" he asked, looking down at the bag on the floor.

Sam, thankful for the change of subject, reached down into the plastic bag the rental store had given her. She read off the titles as she laid them on the coffee table, "Galaxy Quest, Never Been Kissed, Eyes Wide Shut, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me, The Matrix, and a token fluff movie for my favorite Egyptologist - The Mummy."

Daniel laughed. "Quite a mix there, Sam. You plan to watch all of them in one evening?"

Sam returned the laugh, feeling more comfortable again. "No… I rented them for the entire weekend. You can watch them at your leisure, and I'll just stop by Sunday afternoon to pick them up."

Daniel gave her an appreciative look. "Thanks, Sam."

"No problem, Daniel. What're friends for?" She looked at the pillow that had sagged to floor beneath his cast. "Now let me fix that for you, then I'll nuke some popcorn, okay?"

Daniel nodded.

-----------------

Sam glanced up from the bright monitor and around her darkened lab, and sighed. She felt like a tense and tight bundle of energy, ready to burst if something didn't change soon. It was just too late, and she was getting nowhere fast on the project in front of her. She should have been out of there hours ago, along with the others; who else would have been crazy enough to give up their Friday evening to be here?

It wasn't like she had to be here; after Jack's recent solo mission, where he'd successfully apprehended a rogue SG team under Colonel Harry Maybourne's command, SG-1 had been given a week of downtime. Jack had immediately left to go fishing at his Minnesotan cabin and had even managed to convince Teal'c to go with him. Daniel… well, she wasn't sure where he was, but she assumed he was home, trying to have a life, something that was near impossible to do when one was attached to the SGC.

She should have gone fishing instead of hanging around the SGC, she thought miserably as she bent her head down into her hands again, massaging her temples and then her shoulders. She could kick herself for volunteering for this stupid project when she should have been enjoying their downtime. Her damn addiction to challenges had been getting the better of her lately. This one was due Monday at twelve hundred hours - barely over forty-eight hours away; and the courier would be by in half that time to pick it up. Crap.

Self-massage of the hard knot in her shoulder wasn't helping much either. The knot constricted even tighter as she angled her back to better reach the sore muscles. She pushed under her bra strap trying to reach the pain, but that didn't work either. She felt like yanking the damn bra off; as empty as the place was this late in the evening she was tempted to do it - oh, so very tempted. But the evening gateroom shift was still on duty and security was still there, so that'd be a no go.

Raising her head up to focus on her monitor again, Sam felt another muscle in her neck spasm. She let her head sag back down, a ragged sigh escaping her. There was no reason to stay here any longer; her concentration was shot and her blood sugar low; it was a no-win situation…

"Need help with that?"

Sam twisted around in her seat, wincing in pain as her body protested the sudden motion. Daniel was standing in her doorway, backlit by the bright corridor lights. As he approached her desk, the low light of her desk lamp accentuated an equally tired expression on his face.

"Daniel?" she asked. "What're you doing here?"

Daniel shrugged, walking silently up behind her. Sam turned her head to track him and sucked in her breath when the pain in her neck became too much to bear again. Her hand automatically shot up to the throbbing muscles. She felt warm hands gently touch her neck, pushing her hands away, and she turned her head around in the other direction as far as it would go, trying to aim a 'What do you think you're doing?' look at Daniel. She winced as the other side of her neck tightened.

She could hear Daniel's quiet laugh. "Sam… I think the question really is do you ever go home?" he asked, deftly touching several pressure points around her shoulders and neck. "Stop moving around," he directed her, and she complied as he slowly moved his hands down her neck, applying an even, gentle pressure.

Sam couldn't help slouching forward when Daniel finally reached her shoulders. She was enjoying the soothing feeling of his hands on her skin. Beyond the casual hugs and touches that her teammates had given one another on different occasions, she'd never been touched quite like this by any of them, let alone by Daniel.

She realized she'd been quiet for too long. "I thought you'd be home… away from here," she said quickly. "You know - Friday night date, big social life and all…"

Daniel snorted softly. "Right, Sam. And what about your hot date?"

He pressed more deeply and firmly in the middle of her shoulder blades, carefully massaging around her spine, and a soft moan escaped her. This felt so good. Where had Daniel learned to do this?

"Hot date, uh-huh, sure… Not with this project due on Monday," she finally managed to get out. She suppressed another moan as he worked over the tightest muscles, literally feeling like she was melting like soft butter under his touch. "Neither one of us are supposed to be here. What's your excuse?" she whispered.

"Well… I took some things home to work on, but needed to do some research in the base computer and… got a little sidetracked on the Internet," he answered.

"A little?" she asked, amused. It was nearly midnight.

"Yeah, a little," he responded in an embarrassed tone. Rotating her chair around, he finished massaging her shoulders and worked his way steadily down her biceps and forearms, taking hold of each of her hands in turn. Watching in awe of this skill she'd never known that he had, by the time he'd reached her second hand, Sam had lifted her eyes to study the details of Daniel's face. A look of intense concentration filled him, his brow furrowed and his full lips pursed. He was so serious. A man on a mission.

She smiled. "Daniel, where'd you learn to…," she stopped; calling it a caress seemed too intimate a term to use, although that was exactly what he was doing, "…to give massages like that?"

Daniel continued to focus on her hands. "Sha're," he said, referring to his recently deceased wife. He looked up at Sam, his sad eyes full of tenderness and love as he recalled his wife. He'd stopped massaging Sam's hand, but still held it encompassed firmly in his. Sam could almost feel the sense of loss in his dark, dilated eyes. She felt the urge to reach out to touch his face and return his soothing touch, and to tell him everything was okay, but she stopped as he shut his eyes.

"She taught me so many things, Sam, so many things I doubt I'd have learned otherwise…"

-----------------

Sam whipped her head around as gunfire erupted around her and Daniel. Teal'c and Jack had taken lead after Daniel had slowed his pace down to a crawl, looking around in awe at the local buildings as he ran his hands along the intricate stonework facings. She noted the others had found good cover and were returning fire back at their hidden enemy. She twisted quickly around trying to scout out cover for her and Daniel. There was nothing. Then she saw the deep gutter a few feet away. She pushed the unarmed Daniel backwards and down into the ditch as the dirt at their feet exploded with enemy gunfire.

Shooting a last round in the general direction of the enemy, Sam braced for impact as she followed Daniel into the ditch, landing hard on his chest. Daniel had grabbed at her to break her fall, but she still heard him lose his breath as she hit him. She raised her head up to scope out an escape route. More bullets and energy beams whizzed directly above her, and she immediately dipped her head back down into the tight, cramped space. At the current rate and angle of the gunfire, Sam determined that she wasn't going to able to help her above-ground teammates, not until the backup team arrived to help Jack and Teal'c push the enemy back so she and Daniel could get out of this damn ditch.

She twisted her face back down to find that she was nose-to-nose with Daniel.

"Thanks," Daniel said, giving her a small smile.

"Any time," she responded as another barrage of bullets danced along the ground above her head. The oddly-angled ditch was barely deep enough to hold the two of them, and she didn't want one of those shots ripping through her rear end. She pushed down hard on Daniel, trying to flatten her back to below ground level, and heard him grunt in reaction. Realizing her weight was too much for him, she tried shifting her body around to distribute it more evenly, but all she succeeded in doing was twisting and interlocking herself around him. She glanced at the sky; at least her hair was no longer wavering in the breeze of bullets arcing by her head.

She found some wiggle room to her left and slowly shifted her weight to that side so she wasn't pressuring Daniel's chest so much. She stopped when she heard him moan. She lifted her head, ready to ask him if he was okay, and found him gaping at her, wide-eyed and breathing shallow. Oh damn, she thought, I've cracked one of his ribs.

"You're hurt?" she yelled into his ear as another volley broke out above them.

He shook his head, his gaze roving back and forth from her eyes to her mouth. Sam caught her breath, startled both by the close proximity of their faces and her recognition of the look in his eyes. As she became cognizant of just how hard his body was under hers, she lost track of the noises above them. Daniel searched her eyes, his lips parting wider as if he was preparing to talk and they brushed against hers. She didn't move her face away from his touch, her gaze fixed on his. She wasn't aware of much else beyond her heart pounding in her ears and of Daniel beneath her.

God, she could kiss those lips. She felt herself drawn to them and before she made full contact, she stopped. She could feel his heart pulsing throughout her body and her eyes widened as she became conscious of the fact that she wasn't the only one becoming aroused.

Daniel started to speak. "Sam…"

Sam shook her head, the roar of gunfire exploding back into her eardrums. Oh God! What the hell was she doing? Compromising a mission over… over what? Lust? Physical attraction? Pheromones? Was it something she'd eaten?

"Shit!" she said, pushing up and away from a surprised Daniel as the gunfire came to a sudden halt. She peered up over the side of the ditch and saw Jack and Teal'c approaching with the backup team. Jack waved Teal'c and the backup unit toward the building the alien enemy had disappeared behind as he jogged in the opposite direction toward them.

"We're fine, Sir," Sam said, waving him away as she scrambled out of the ditch and onto her feet, reaching down to pull Daniel up out of the indentation he'd become lodged in. After he was back on his feet, she handed Daniel her zat and turned quickly away, avoiding his confused look and sprinting toward the disappearing SG unit.

"C'mon, Jackson!" Jack called out, turning back around to follow Teal'c.

-----------------

Sam entered darkened the locker room. It was empty. Good.

They had managed to successfully capture the attacking enemy without a major loss of life on either side; only the enemy leader had been killed. Her only injuries were some scrapes from the dive into the ditch and she'd had them treated in the infirmary. She'd intentionally spent a little longer than she had to with Janet, trying to give Daniel enough time to shower and be out of the locker room by the time she got there.

Looking around the room, she decided she wasn't sure how she liked the new unisex set-up, but there wasn't much she could do about it beyond trying to adjust her timing to that of the guys. Teal'c and Jack had skipped their shower this time until later, Jack eager to earn some money off of a bet with Teal'c that he could still 'whoop your ass' at the weight bench even with post-mission exhaustion.

Sam stuffed her bag into her locker and lifted a foot up onto the bench to unlace her boots.

"Sam…"

Sam shivered in surprise and looked up to see Daniel approaching her from the shower stalls. She tensed. Why wasn't he done? Why hadn't he turned the lights up if he was still occupying the damn room? It wasn't as if she hadn't given him plenty of time to shower and dress. She took in the towel encircling his waist and the memory of the gutter incident came rushing back. She took a deep breath, fearful of where his conversation had the potential to go. He had the power to make or break their friendship at this point, and it worried her.

"Daniel…" she said, acknowledging him as nonchalantly as she could.

She watched Daniel fidget uncomfortably in front of her and it made her feel a bit better. Maybe what had happened really had been just some crazy, but very normal physical reaction. That had to be it, she told herself.

"Sam…," he started. "What happened back there?"

Sam found she couldn't answer him. She wasn't sure. Not true Sam, she admonished herself. You were attracted to Daniel and it was out on a mission and it bordered on unprofessional conduct, even if they both were the only two who'd been privy to what had transpired.

She shrugged and looked away from the distraction of Daniel's bare chest. Damn, why wasn't he gone? She didn't need this kind of temptation. She'd avoided it initially with Jack and now here it was rearing its not-so-ugly head at her with Daniel. Sam swallowed hard.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, bending back down over her knee to finish unlacing her boots.

Daniel moved closer to her and hunched down so that his face was level with hers. "I think you do," he said quietly.

'No!' she screamed inside her head. I won't mess up our work relationship and friendship for some crazy, misplaced lust; I won't. 'I won't!' she swore repeatedly, as her eyes slowly traveled up the entire length of his thigh, now exposed by the open towel, slowing down at his chest, still dotted by beads of water, jumping up to his neck, lingering over the indentation of his lips and moving slowly up to his eyes.

She squeezed her eyes shut as she felt her body responding again and she shook her head imperceptibly. Oh hell, she needed to get out of here to let him finish in peace whatever it was that he'd been doing in here. She was glad she'd ridden the bike in this time; she'd go home and shower after a long - very, very long - and hard ride.

"Sam? What's wrong?"

She opened her eyes to find him only inches away, his myopia forcing him to squint at her. "Nothing," she squeaked. She reddened in the low light. Oh damn! Now she sounded just like a school girl. All over a little physical attraction and for a good friend at that. She looked down again, trying to hide her flaming cheeks.

She felt a gentle caress on her cheek, and Sam shivered. Daniel had started to trace the outline of her cheekbone very carefully. It was a touch similar to when he'd given her that neck massage months ago, except there was a lingering gentleness to this that hadn't been there before. She looked up at him.

Daniel pursed his lips and gave her a 'cut the BS' look. "Sam, we really need to talk."

She nodded in relief, and then started to shake her head. "Daniel, things won't be the same," she whispered in warning.

Daniel's hand hadn't moved, still cupping her cheek with the lightest of touches. "I know." He shook his head. "But we can't keep avoiding it, Sam. It's just not healthy to keep pretending that there's nothing there. Just give me a second…"

Sam's cheek tingled under his touch. "Not here," she said, shaking her head. Not here, Daniel… please, not here, she fervently thought.

"Here," he said. "Now, Sam."

"No. Home. Soon," she whispered.

"Now," Daniel said, pushing himself back up as Sam straightened up.

Sam wasn't sure what had gotten into her, but she was almost ready to agree with him. Lust, Sam. Hormones. Stop it - talk here and other things may end up happening and if you get caught then… She shook her head and turned away from him with great effort. She grabbed her bag back out of the locker and headed for the door, reaching down to tuck her laces inside her boots. She'd change into her civvies in the bathroom; she couldn't stay in here any longer.

"My place or yours?" Daniel called out after her.

She pointed at herself and disappeared out into the corridor.

-----------------

"Where were you?" Daniel asked as Sam swung her leg over the seat of her motorcycle.

She unlatched her chin guard and lifted her helmet over her head. Her hair spiked out in every direction. "Riding."

Daniel looked exasperated and hot, the sweat beads clinging thickly to his brow and cheeks, and, as she began to feel the heat envelop her too, it hit Sam just how hot it was. She eased off her leather jacket, draping it over the bike's handlebars, and began to push the bike around the side of her house.

"You said to come here," Daniel said in a frustrated tone as he brought up the rear.

Sam shrugged as she pulled the bike to a halt in front of her back door and knocked the kickstand into place. "I didn't think you'd get here that quickly."

Daniel's nostrils flared.

Sam gave him a 'So what?' shrug as she unlocked the door and waved him into the much cooler kitchen. "Did you even finish your shower?" she asked, sniffing at him as he passed by her.

"Yes!" he answered defensively.

Sam sighed as she dropped her jacket onto the island countertop. Okay, so maybe she had been out riding a few hours longer than she'd intended. But she'd needed that time. Really needed it. "Look, Daniel, I just needed to clear my head out and think."

"Why?" he asked.

Sam opened her mouth to answer and stopped, frowning. "Because I did."

"So you're ready to talk now?" Daniel asked, eyeing the damp tee-shirt clinging to her chest and the dirt still smeared across her face from their fall into the ditch earlier in the day.

Sam rubbed her cheek and looked at the grit on her hand. "Uh… no." She looked at the refrigerator and back at Daniel. "Hungry?" she asked.

Daniel considered her question. He nodded.

"Good then," she said. She waved at the stove and the refrigerator. "You can make us something to eat. I'm going to get a shower," she told him as she headed towards her bedroom.

"But…"

"I went to the store yesterday - there's plenty of food in there," she called out to him before she shut her bedroom door.

-----------------

Daniel joined her on the couch after putting the dishes in the dishwasher. The house was quiet except for the dishwasher's muted humming. He sat down close to her, much closer than he had in the past, his eyes locked with hers, but not speaking. After staring at each other for a few minutes, they both turned around to stare at the stone fireplace instead.

"So, Sam…"

"So… Daniel?"

She turned to see Daniel's eyes hood over as his brows knit into deep creases. "Feels funny, huh?" Daniel asked.

Sam nodded. "Yeah."

"So… we're friends, right?" he asked.

Sam nodded again.

"Okay…" Daniel said, dipping his head forward. "And so… there've been some times… lately… when… when we've both felt…" Daniel carefully picked his words, "…felt like more than just friends."

Sam didn't answer, chewing on the side of her cheek. She arched her eyebrows and shrugged quickly. She was going to let him be the one to go out on a limb. Let him name whatever it was that was going on.

"Okay then." Daniel inhaled deeply. "Let's try talking about today."

"What about it?" Sam asked.

Daniel's shoulders sagged as he realized she wasn't going to make this easy for him at all. "Well…"

"Yes. Well…." Sam echoed.

Daniel licked his lips and shut his eyes. "Sam - do you or don't you feel any kind of sexual attraction to me?

Sam tilted her head, a surprised expression forming on her face. Boy, that was blunt for the usually oblique archeologist. She looked away from him as he opened his eyes. The ball was in her court now. How was she going to respond? She loved and deeply cared for the friend that she had in him. Was she willing to take the risk involved in seeing if there was something even deeper there to be uncovered?

But she couldn't deny the attraction, that was certain. Chemical, biological, a quirk of her imagination - whatever it was - it had been there today and had been building slowly for some time now. "I might," she admitted softly, shutting her eyes.

She heard his sharp intake of air at her confession and felt him shift beside her.

"May I kiss you, Sam?" she heard him whisper.

Sam's eyes shot open and, seeing his nearby face full of desire for her, she laughed. "I don't think so," she said.

Daniel's expression changed to surprise. "Excuse me?"

"I don't kiss on the first date," Sam told him, grinning.

"This doesn't qualify?" Daniel asked.

"I don't think so," Sam laughed. She leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. This relationship would be at her pace; no fanfare, away from base, and discreet. "Welcome to my life, Daniel," she told him softly.

Daniel looked hurt. Sam laughed again and gave a loud, happy sigh. "Okay, Daniel - how about a late movie then, since we've already eaten?"

Daniel turned his nose up in response. "I think I've already watched every movie you own, Sam."

"No, silly - at the theater. Official date number one. I'll drive."

She noticed his hurt look continued to linger. "Oh, okay…," she conceded, "YOU drive then."

-----------------

Sam's nostril's flared and she tilted her head to give Colonel Frank Simmons an angry glare.

"Well, Captain? Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot…. Major." A smarmy smile curled its way up along the bottom of Simmons's tight face.

Sam took a deep breath, trying to maintain her calm when all she wanted to do was to reach out and choke the smug man sitting across from her. Hammond had apologized to both her and Jack when he told them liaison from the Pentagon had arrived to question them. Sam was amazed at the arrogance of this man. Lifting her chin up, she continued to glare at him. "I followed established protocols. The explosion had not been expected."

A thoughtful look spread over Simmons's face. "But didn't Colonel O'Neill feel there was something amiss?"

Sam continued to sit ramrod straight. She was tired of his insinuations and accusations, but she wasn't going to allow him to break her. It irritated her that he had the ability to get under her skin like this. She squinted at him; didn't he have anything better to do than to grill her?

"I wouldn't know, Sir," she answered. "The Colonel was incapacitated at the time."

"Incapacitated?" Simmons's eyelids shot up, surprise transforming his normally jaded expression.

Sam gave him a withering look. "Unconscious. Unable to function. Out of it. Knocked out."

Simmons's mouth puckered up in distaste. "Okay, Major, point taken." His mouth pursed tighter as he flipped through another folder on the table in front of him. "And here, Major - here… what's this about untoward conduct?"

Sam lost her composure for a moment. "What?" she asked.

Simmons tapped his fingers on the report, a smirk twisting his features at the fact he'd finally been able to make her react. "Here, Major Carter. Here - P6X-628 - where it says that you and Colonel O'Neill were seen engaging in what could be interpreted by some as the prelude to intimate relations."

Sam felt her face burning. She hated this man; truly hated him. "Nothing untoward occurred on that mission," she snapped at him.

"Ohhhh… I beg to differ," Simmons retorted. "Need I remind you again that I have read all of the Stargate mission reports, Major? Those of SG-1 never fail to pique my interest. I believe that with what's contained in these reports, and in this one in particular, we could have both of you fine officers put away for a long time."

Sam felt her blood boiling. How dare he infer that anything about the mission had been intimate or inappropriate! Jack had been hacking a path through some dense undergrowth when he'd swiped a large nodule of a succulent plant that had been growing in the tree in front of him. Walking immediately behind him, she'd been hit with a full frontal gushing of a sticky substance that she quickly found had blistering and itching properties similar to poison ivy. Jack had whipped around at her yelp and had gotten hit with a liberal amount of the same substance.

As they both became wide-eyed and open-mouthed at the intense pain and indescribable need to itch - Jack had nodded back at the stream they'd just passed and they'd both shot past a surprised Teal'c and Daniel, peeling off their soaked layers of clothing as quickly as they possibly could. Diving into the stream and scrubbing furiously to get the fast-acting plant secretions off, Sam hadn't had a moment to think about their nakedness.

She'd submerged herself several times to try to get the offending chemicals out of her hair and the last time she'd shot back up out of the cold stream, she'd found Teal'c and Daniel staring at her. She'd realized then where they were and what she wasn't wearing, and she'd whipped back around and re-submerged down to her neck. Jack had ordered the amused duo back to the gate to notify Fraiser about the secretions and to get a change of clothes for both of them and he'd remained submerged nearby until Teal'c and Daniel returned. But nothing untoward had happened - far from it in that freezing water.

Sam refocused her thoughts back to Simmons. "I beg to differ," she muttered through gritted teeth.

Simmons tilted his head. "Oh, certainly you don't expect me to believe…" He was cut short by the appearance of General Hammond in the briefing room.

"Colonel Simmons," Hammond said. "I've just received an interesting phone call. You are to leave immediately."

"I'm not finished here yet," Simmons said, turning back around to Sam.

Hammond took a few steps toward the table. "I believe you are."

Simmons cast a condescending look over Hammond. "You're sadly mistaken, General."

Hammond reddened, but stood his ground. "Colonel, I believe you are the one who is mistaken. From the call I just received, I now have it on good authority that you were not authorized to come here to make inquires of any sort at this time."

Simmons snorted. "Authority…"

Hammond cleared his throat and two airmen stepped through the doorway, lowering their weapons at Simmons. "Yes," Hammond said. "I believe the president to be THE authority in matters like this."

Sam got out of her chair to stand at attention near the briefing table, trying not to look at Simmons.

"These fine young soldiers will escort you to the surface to ensure nothing 'untoward' happens to you on your way out," Hammond said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a conference call with the Joint Chiefs to conclude." Hammond nodded a dismissal to Sam before he left the room.

Simmons gave Sam a withering look as he was led away. "I'd watch that conduct if I were you," he sneered. "Until next time, Major."

-----------------

Simmons's words still ringing in her ears, Sam involuntarily shivered as she entered her darkened office. She wished there would be no next time; this time had been more than enough. She shut her eyes, feeling as if she could easily just dissolve down into the floor as weighted down as she felt after the interrogation. Her mind was a jumble of angry thoughts and of unnamed feelings, and she couldn't think straight enough at the moment to move forward far enough to even turn on her desk lamp.

She managed to move her hand up to undo her top collar button, loosening the constriction she felt in her throat. Leaning back against the desk to rest for a moment, she allowed her shoulders to sag forward and she let loose a deep sigh. She resigned herself that there would be a next time and a time after that so long as Simmons was somewhere in the military machine; certain types delighted in trying to topple SG-1, either jealous of their success or eager to use the them to further their own agendas.

"Sam?" She heard Daniel's voice call softly from the recesses of her office.

She opened her eyes and squinted into the darkness. Daniel had been sitting in her chair, waiting for her to return. His eyes were full of concern and the creases crisscrossing his forehead had deepened into dark crags in the dim light shining in from the corridor.

"You okay?" he asked.

Sam felt her anger at Simmons flare up and she actively fought to suppress it. No matter how comfortable she had become with Daniel after the few dates they'd been on so far, she didn't want him to think she couldn't handle bad situations any differently than the guys could. When she couldn't get an answer to form in her mouth, she gave him a half shrug, looking away when his gaze became too intense.

"Liar," he said, moving closer and reaching out to pull her into a gentle hug. "It's okay, Sam."

Sam buried her head into his shoulder and sighed. No, it wasn't okay. She felt Daniel caress her hair lightly, almost like a gentle breeze was ruffling it. She stood silently for a moment, drinking in the experience of being held by Daniel like this. It was different than she'd expected. Much different than the raw forcefulness of Jonas Hanson. Different than the few times Jack had hugged and consoled her.

She discreetly inhaled Daniel's warm scent, his spicy cologne wafting up from his chest. She inhaled again. Okay, it wasn't exactly unpleasant, but she wasn't going to allow herself to get too comfortable with him this way; it was too soon in this new stage of their relationship. She pulled slowly away and met his stare with one of her own.

"So how much do I owe you for your services, Dr. Jackson?" she asked, smiling.

"Services?" Daniel asked, confused.

"Comfort and counseling. Hugs cost extra I assume?" Sam asked.

"Oh," Daniel said, still confused. "Uh, no. Nothing. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I hung out in the corridor for a while, listening since Simmons hadn't shut the door, but after a certain point I couldn't take it any more and came back up here to wait for you." He gave Sam a look filled with admiration. "I don't see how you took it, Sam."

Sam sobered up, her smile fading. "It wasn't easy. I wanted…" She looked at Daniel. "I wanted to kill the jerk. I…," she stopped, shaking her head.

"You're something else, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "I'm just me."

Daniel gave her a serious look that said otherwise.

Sam blushed and looked away.

"Well, I'd better go," Daniel said, heading toward the door.

Sam nodded. "Okay, see you later," she responded. As he turned to give her a quick smile and wave, she gave him a grateful look. "And thanks again."

Daniel gave her a dimpled grin and quick shrug before he disappeared down the corridor.

-----------------

Sam stopped talking to sip on her water and laughed. "What's the matter, Daniel?"

Daniel blinked in the late afternoon sunlight that angled in Sam's back window. "What?"

"You look like you were getting ready to zone out on me or something." She peered closely at him. "I know it's the weekend and you don't want to hear about business, but did you hear a word I just said?"

Daniel sat up straighter and scooted his glasses back up toward the bridge of his nose. "Of course I did. You were telling me about your time flying in the Gulf. About g-forces, physics, emptying one's gut…"

"Daniel!"

Daniel chuckled. "Okay, maybe you didn't talk about the last thing…"

Sam shook her head. "I'm serious - flying is one of the most thrilling things you can ever do, Daniel."

"But is it a need for speed or just the adrenaline?" Daniel asked, trying to hide a smirk.

"Oh, come on, Daniel," Sam said, shaking her head harder. "You can't tell me that you don't experience some kind of a rush when we're out on missions. Not even the eensiest, weensiest of thrills?"

"Getting thrown into prison camps, getting shot at, being seriously injured every other mission, oh, and let's not forget the torture of the week…" Daniel wrinkled his nose. "Yes, Sam. Quite a thrill," he said dryly.

Sam elbowed him in the ribs. "Daniel, you know what I meant."

Daniel only smirked at her.

A thoughtful look spread over Sam's face. "I need to take you for a ride," Sam said.

"Okay. But let's take my car this time instead of yours," he said.

Sam gave him a sly look; it was time to test him. "Noooo - on my bike."

"Uh, no." Daniel looked worried.

"What's the matter?" Sam asked. "Chicken?"

"Well, uh, no… It's just…"

"Just what, Daniel?"

"Well… Uh…"

"Yes?" Sam asked.

"I like a little padding, uh, between me and the road. And, uh, air bags. Definitely have to have those airbags and all…" Daniel's voice faded away.

Sam squinted at him hard. "I dare you," she said.

Daniel looked surprised.

"Seriously, Daniel," Sam said, rising from the couch. "If you can fearlessly give up your life here and go live on Abydos and bravely stick up for the rights of others in the most life-threatening of situations…," she stood in front of him, hands on hips, "…then you can go for a little spin on my bike."

Daniel had the look of a surprised buck caught in the nighttime glare of headlights. Sam fully expected him to leap over the couch and out her front door. She watched as he gulped.

"I guess… since you put it that way," he said. "Tomorrow? Next weekend?" he asked hopefully.

"Now."

"Not tomorrow?" he asked. "Isn't it too late?"

"Now," she said, looking at the clock.

"But… I have to get home and tape this History Channel program on Ra and…"

"Now, Daniel."

Daniel's face constricted into a grimace. "Now?" he whined.

Sam smiled in victory. "Let me grab my extra helmet," she said. She looked over her shoulder as she walked toward the hallway. Daniel still looked as if he were ready to bolt from her house. "Don't go anywhere, okay?" she said. "Correction - you may want to use the bathroom - we might be gone for a while." She laughed as she saw Daniel's eyes widen.

-----------------

"Sam, being friends doesn't mean our relationship is going to be any easier," Daniel told her brusquely.

"I know," Sam said. "It's just that most of the time we're usually on the same wavelength, so when…"

"We aren't, it's really noticeable," Daniel finished. "I know."

"Like REALLY noticeable," Sam said, widening her eyes for emphasis.

"I KNOW," Daniel said, mimicking her facial expression. He watched her closely for a moment and then looked away. "You don't like it when people disagree with you, do you, Sam?"

Sam's eyes shrank into a squint.

Daniel pursed his lips to the side. "Okay, let me rephrase that. You don't like it when your assumptions have been proven false."

Sam's squint tightened. "Not being very diplomatic this evening, are you?"

Daniel looked down. "After how everything's gone today, no, I guess not. Sorry."

Sam took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "I guess I do assume too much sometimes." She heard Daniel snort softly and she opened her eyes. "Okay, so all the time. Is that such a bad thing?" She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, pulling her legs up under her. "I want to believe that we're both in the same place one hundred percent of the time. Yeah, I know that's unrealistic and it's probably not something I'd really want if I came right down to it. I mean, it would be like I'm dating me." She smiled uncomfortably as she became acutely aware of Daniel's intense gaze. "Am I making sense?"

Daniel nodded, furrows still rippling along his forehead.

His dour seriousness concerned her and she searched his face for signs of the happy and eager, almost boyish, young man that he usually was and she just couldn't find any traces of that person right now. She knew something was wrong when she had swung by his office on her way back from the quick recon mission she and Teal'c had accompanied SG-10 on earlier in the day. She'd tried to get out of him at that time what was bothering him and he'd refused to tell her. She had just tried again and he'd told her in no uncertain terms that he didn't want to talk about it.

"Can't we talk about it?" Sam asked, trying one more time to help ease the unhappiness of the man who was becoming more and more dear to her with each passing day.

"No."

"But you always talk about things that bother you," Sam complained. "I know you well enough to know something's really wrong when you don't talk about it."

A scowl darkened Daniel's face. "Not always."

"Is it something I said, Daniel?" Sam asked.

Daniel shook his head.

"Something I did?" she asked.

Daniel shook his head again. "Sam, please, it's not always about you."

Sam sat there open-mouthed. "I didn't say it was."

"Look, I just don't want to talk about it," he said sharply. Too sharply, he realized as Sam's eyes registered hurt before turning dark in response to his words. He took a deep breath. "For me to hash it all out again wouldn't serve any useful purpose right now, okay?"

"But, Daniel, we're still friends," Sam reminded him. "I can't understand why you can't share with me what's bothering you and why you won't let me help you."

Daniel heaved a deep sigh. "There're some things that even you can't solve, Sam. Okay?" He looked pained. "We are friends," he agreed. "Sam, you're my best friend." His eyes lost their hardness for a moment. "We've become even more than friends now, but, Sam, you're going to have to accept that there's going to be times when I'm not going to be able to share everything."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "I don't have to accept it," she told him firmly. "To keep the peace between us right now, I'm going to let it go, but," she said, shaking her head, "don't you ever think I'm going to accept that kind of behavior in the future, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel looked at Sam with a mixture of surprise and incredulity. "You're stubborn, you know that?"

Sam nodded. "Carters are stubborn as mules, didn't you know that, Daniel?" she asked a small grin forming on her lips.

A hint of a grin teased about the side of Daniel's mouth. "No, but I do now."

-----------------

"Stop!" Sam yelled as she walked into Dr. Robert Rothman's lab. Rothman was staring into the eyes of the crystal skull that they'd brought back with them, very much in the way Daniel had done before he'd disappeared. "That's exactly what Daniel was doing when he was absorbed by the energy field," she explained a little more apologetically.

"I… I know that. I was trying to prove something," Rothman said, taking off his glasses.

"Prove what?" Dr. Janet Fraiser asked from nearby.

Sam looked at Rothman. "You don't think the skull is responsible for what happened to Daniel, do you?" she asked.

"I'm still here," Rothman reminded her.

"There was intense muon radiation at the time the energy…" Sam mused.

"There is no residual radiation," Rothman cut in.

"Look," Sam told him, "I saw what that thing is capable of." Her best friend - no - her boyfriend, was gone… he'd disappeared in a heartbeat because of the damn skull. She knew the skull had everything in the world to do with it.

"Hey," Rothman said diplomatically. "I wish it was a transportation device. I could use it to go find Daniel. He's my friend too, you know. I don't think that's what we've got here. I think what we've got here is… a paperweight."

Sam wanted to haul off and smack some sense into Rothman. But first she'd have to tell him a thing or two about relationships that were deeper than his own with Daniel, and since she couldn't, all she could do was to glower at him.

"I'm sorry," Rothman said. "I… that's my opinion," he said turning away, looking apologetic.

Sam felt bad; she hadn't meant to treat Rothman this way. She knew he'd been under a great deal of stress - he'd made no secret of feeling as though he had to act as both Daniel and her during the time that she'd been in the infirmary recuperating from the radiation sickness. All she wanted was her Daniel back. They'd been seeing each other off-duty almost constantly the past few weeks and she missed him terribly already. The thought that she might not see him again… she didn't want to dwell on that one.

"It's all right," she told him. "I'll take over from here." She looked at Sergeant Siler. "There may be properties within the crystalline structure invisible to the naked eye. We should run some diagnostic tests."

"Thanks," Sam said, accepting the glass of water Janet offered her. The radiation exposure had left her with a temporary thirst that just couldn't be quenched. She took a drink. As she set the glass down, she felt a prickling, like Daniel was in the room with them, and she shivered.

"Did anybody else feel that?" she asked.

"What?" Janet asked.

"I just got a shiver," Sam said.

"Well, you are still feeling the after-effects of the radiation," Janet reminded her.

Sam felt uneasy. She could have sworn she'd felt Daniel's presence; she'd been around him enough to know the peaceful aura that surrounded him. But if she mentioned it again, Janet would have her back in the infirmary in a quick minute. She dropped the subject.

-----------------

After Sam entered the elevator, she turned back around to face Jack. "Do you get the feeling that Daniel is still around?" she asked. She felt Daniel's presence distinctly now. She wanted to make sure it wasn't just her, and since she couldn't mention it to Janet again… She hoped Jack would confirm for her that it wasn't just some kind of residual aural effect that her mind was creating to fill the void of Daniel's absence with.

"Kinda," Jack answered.

Okay, non-committal wasn't the kind of answer she was looking for. "I guess it's 'cause we miss him," she mused.

"Or radiation sickness," Jack pointed out.

Sam smiled at him; he sounded just like Janet. Had Janet warned Jack about her like Janet had warned her to keep an eye on him? "Goodnight, Sir," she said as the elevator doors closed.

Who knew? It probably was simply because she missed Daniel. That past month they'd been inseparable, doing quiet things far enough out of the way that no one would catch them together or just getting together at home for dinner and a movie, and talking; lots and lots of talking. Although…

A grin crept over her face as she remembered his first ride on her bike; the one she'd had to dare him to take. Now that had been some kind of wonderful feeling to have him holding her tight as she sped them flat out along the interstate. He'd seemed to have enjoyed the rush of the experience, too, which had surprised her. She hadn't thought that he was that much of an adrenaline junkie. She chuckled softly.

She'd found he wasn't always what she expected and she liked that. It was fun finding out who the real Daniel was, the preconceived notions that she'd had of him falling quickly away. She found herself eagerly anticipating those times alone with him; it was almost like a secret pleasure to be slowly savored, especially when things turned for the worse like they had recently on Bedrosia where SG-1 had been held captive and tortured until Teal'c and the young Bedrosian, Nyan, had helped them escape.

Sam's grin faded a bit as she imagined what Daniel might be facing wherever he was at. She wished he were here, with her, where he belonged.

-----------------

Sam watched as Daniel's grandfather, Nick Ballard, placed the crystal skull back on its podium in the center of the enormous cave. She hoped Ballard was right and that Daniel really was here in the cavern with them. His coming back would validate all of the feelings she'd been having about feeling that Daniel was here with her, but there was that part about Ballard having been in a psychiatric facility for years that concerned her…

The air around them slowly started to glow just as it had before, and Sam watched as the energy field sprung up around them, looking for all the world like a huge swirl of fireflies. She glanced down at her monitor. "Sir, radiation's climbing again," she reported to Jack.

"This is incredible," Ballard said, watching the lights flow around him.

"Daniel said to let it happen," Jack reminded them.

The field suddenly disappeared back into the skull where it had come from and Sam saw Daniel reappear, stooped over, looking at the skull's eye sockets. "Daniel!" she cried out. He was back!

Daniel turned slowly around, not quite believing he was back. "Sam," he said, coming down the steps. "It worked." A smile lit his face like she hadn't seen the likes of before. She felt the urge to run up and hug him tightly, but she fought hard to suppress it. No one knew about them yet, nor would they for so long as she and Daniel could help it. She could tell from his smile he understood her quietness and that he was anticipating their after-hours reunion as much as she was.

-----------------

Sam entered Daniel's kitchen to find half-eaten toast on a plate near the stove and a carton of milk on the countertop. He'd flown past her at the SGC this morning as she'd approached his office to ask when he was leaving. "I'm late!" he'd yelled over his shoulder as he yanked his jacket on, heading towards the elevator shaft. "Keys are there on my desk!" he shouted to her just before the elevator doors shut.

Opening the milk container and sniffing its contents, Sam turned her nose up at its sourness and drained the container into the sink. As the milk chugged out she looked around the countertop. A journal lay open nearby. She laughed. Apparently the busy Dr. Jackson had been trying to multi-task just one too many things this morning before leaving for his week-long mission. She recapped his pen and picked up his spare eyeglass case, heading towards his bedroom to put them and his journal away in his nightstand.

As she felt along the journal's rough binding, she wondered what he'd written about the Eurondan mission they'd just returned from. She knew he kept fairly personal journals; early in their first year together as a team, she'd come to Daniel's apartment with the rest of SG-1 to clear out his belongings after they'd been imprinted by Nem with false memories of Daniel's death. Jack had been squicked by her reading through some of Daniel's journal entries, but she'd found her quick skim enlightening and engrossing. They'd been a mix of scientific observation and passionate personal thoughts. She smiled as she remembered Daniel's hastily scrawled lament from the very first mission to Abydos that he didn't have a clue of how to get them off the planet and that he wasn't going to get paid as a result.

Sam slid her finger under the journal cover and fingered its length as she hesitated above the drawer. She knew this wasn't right, but the desire to be in Daniel's head again like she had when she read his journal entries that day two years ago was overwhelming. She scrunched her face up into a grimace. Sam - this is an invasion of privacy. But, she countered herself - he was the one who'd left it open, wide open, on the countertop. How could she not have helped but to read some of it when she came over to his place to clean his mess up?

She bit her top lip. Some of it, Sam. Just a snippet. Like before, when they'd been here cleaning out his apartment. After a moment's hesitation, she dropped down across his bed and propped herself up on her elbows, the delicious feeling of anticipation spreading through her.

She started reading… 'I don't know for sure what either one of them were thinking, but I swear to you that the tension in the air up on that ramp was literally thick enough to cut with a knife after we all heard the thump against the iris. I didn't find out until the mission debriefing that Alar had been following them, begging to come through, offering to share all the knowledge he had in exchange for his life, but when Jack came through the gate, he had immediately ordered the iris shut. I honestly don't know what I would have done had I been in his place. A part of me agrees with Jack's action. I'm amazed by that feeling. Actually I'm worried about it; I worry that the longer I'm here, that more of the militarism of this program will corrupt me, change me.'

'I wonder what Sam must have been thinking…' Sam saw the scrawl end and she realized that was when Daniel must have realized that time had gotten away from him and that he was going to be late, and he'd dropped everything to race out of the house.

She considered his question. Pissed, Daniel. Pissed off like you wouldn't believe. She'd wanted to reach out and strangle Jack for having played God once again. She knew it was his prerogative as leader to do what he felt was in the best interest of the team and their mission, but damn it, to play judge and jury on top of it all? She wholeheartedly agreed with Jack's assessment that the Eurondans were slimeballs, but damn it, let Alar be assigned guilt and punishment by his peers. She stopped and sighed. Okay, so Alar didn't have any peers left after what had happened on his planet, but still...

She sighed and flipped back another page.

'Sometimes I wonder how Sam takes it being under Jack's command. Grace under pressure is the best way I can describe how she reacts to his brusque treatment of her and the rest of us. If only I could be such… such a saint. That's what she is, especially when Jack is in rare form like he was on this mission. I swear – he has me on this team to play the diplomat because he's not good at it, but then he treats me like crap when I'm doing my job? Yes, he did apologize for his asnine behavior after Alar slipped up and said something that got Jack to thinking about what I'd been trying to tell him all along, but I swear, there's times when I question why the hell I'm still on this team or even in this program. Sha're is gone. We'll probably never find the harcesis child. Please remind me again of why I am still here.'

'This is one of those times that I wish I had the focus that Sam does. She's goal-oriented and seems to know exactly what she wants and where she wants to go from here. I give her a lot credit for trying to see my point of view in addition to her own and for not trying to convince me that I'm totally wrong about my views.' I try, Daniel, she thought, I try. She was glad he thought she was that focused. Lord knew there had been many a time when she didn't feel that way.

Sam noticed he'd doodled several eyes of Ra across to the margin. He started to write again a few lines later. 'It's been interesting these past few months that Sam and I have been seeing each other off-base. There's this other side to Sam I knew, or at least had guessed, had to exist, but never got to see. She's an extremely strong person, but there's an amazing vulnerability and a playfulness that she doesn't show much when we're on-base, although I guess I can understand why she keeps it hidden. You know she actually got me to go out on a motorcycle for the first time in my life last week?' He drew a smiley face on his rendition of her Indian. 'And I actually liked it, more than I thought I would.'

Sam smiled. She remembered well how it had felt having Daniel pressed up hard against her back, the bike vibrating beneath them. She could have ridden all night, but knew she'd have been pressing her luck with him to have done that. Although, after their pit stop to use the bathrooms and get gas… she knew well what the flush on Daniel's cheeks and the look in his eyes meant as she came out of the convenience store; and it had nothing to do with windburn. He'd enjoyed it as much as she had and hadn't protested when she'd proposed they take a longer, more circuitous route back home.

Sam slowly skimmed back through his entries, her cheeks warming when she came across passages in which Daniel spoke of her. He'd made no secret of his enjoyment of their time together, telling her often how much he enjoyed being with her, but it was different to read it here. She looked at where she was and realized she'd already skimmed through half the journal. She really needed to stop. One more, Sam. Just one more entry.

She ran her fingers quickly along the pages until she recognized an entry from two weeks earlier. Daniel had faced a difficult command decision in their struggle to contain the Replicator bugs that had managed to find refuge in a Russian submarine. To destroy the sub and save humankind on Earth had meant killing Jack and Teal'c.

'I have to acknowledge the guts it takes Jack to make the orders that he does. I don't think anyone realizes what an agonizing decision it is until they're in that position, counting down the seconds before they have to push that button or relay that order to kill. And if it's your friends that you're ordering the deaths of - it's damn near impossible. If Sam hadn't helped Thor and he hadn't beamed Jack and Teal'c out of that damn sub… I don't know if I could have lived with myself for being the one responsible for their deaths, even though I knew I had to do it to keep the Replicators from taking over our planet. It didn't even matter that Jack was pleading with me to blow the sub - I just couldn't do it. I'm glad I'll be heading over to Sam's this evening. I need to get this feeling of death out of my system and to be reminded what it is to be alive and I know when I'm with her I won't feel this way.' She noticed he'd scratched out several words and she tried to decipher them but had no luck. 'Sam is remarkably like Sha're in that respect. When you're there with her, you feel like you're the most important person in the world and nothing else and no one else matters. I don't think she has any idea of how good she makes me feel. After what I went through today, I need to tell her that, before it's too late. This evening, I promise.'

Sam ran her index finger over the words as a soft smile spread over her face. He hadn't kept his promise to himself that day, but he had now, even if he didn't know it yet. She shut the journal and rolled over onto her back, praying for a safe and speedy return for this man who'd come to mean so much to her. She felt the warm wash of feelings for him turn into a dull ache and she smoothed the comforter beside her, still warm from where she'd just been laying. She needed to tell him, too. Before it was too late.

-----------------

It was a bittersweet feeling for him, to know he was ready to give his heart so completely to Sam. Daniel had thought he would love Sha're forever. He would, but it would be the memory of her that he would honor. While he still lived and breathed in the here and now, it would be Sam who would have his heart and soul. He couldn't believe it. He hadn't come to the program to find romance - the romance and lure of new civilizations and the wide-open universe just waiting to be discovered - yes, but not the kind of tug at his soul and emotions that these two very different women had created in him.

He smiled as he thought of Sha're's gentle smile and soft brown eyes when he'd told her, shortly before unburying the gate at the end of his first year with her, that he'd never fall in love with another woman the rest of his life. She had laughed and told him that he could not be serious.

"But I am," he'd insisted to her. "Sha're, you are the rarest of gems amongst all those contained in the universe. A sparkling diamond, not unlike the shining stars in the night sky…"

"Oh, Daniel, you and those too eloquent words that you use!" Sha're had interrupted. "You put me on too high a throne. I am not a Goa'uld!" she'd laughed.

"No, you're not," he'd laughed in response, grabbing her around the waist and burying his nose in her long hair. "Sha're, I'll never love another woman like I love you for as long as I live."

She'd pulled back slightly from him, a serious look in her eyes. "Daniel, do not become like my father."

"What do you mean?"

"After my mother died, he said similar words and refused to consider a new wife. He vowed to remain faithful to her memory. For years he has immersed himself in the matters of Abydos and in keeping as many of us alive as he could to await the day we would be delivered from Ra." Sha're searched Daniel's eyes. "I do not want you to be like my father, Daniel." She touched his face with the lightest of touches, her fingertips lingering on his lips. "I want you to be happy, should something ever happen to me."

"Nothing will happen to you, Sha're," Daniel whispered, kissing her fingers.

She gave him a small smile. "Never say never, Daniel. Were you not the one who taught me that saying?"

Daniel looked at his wife, sad at the knowledge that both of their deaths were inevitable. He'd been intimately acquainted with mortality since his parent's deaths when he was a child. He'd wanted to run away from it whenever it approached. He didn't even want to think of Sha're's death. It killed him to think of her ever leaving him. He swallowed hard and pulled her close again, running his hand through her hair.

He could easily see himself following the path Kasuf had taken. Except instead of the noble cause of leading a strong people through desperate times, he'd knew he'd have no cause, becoming immersed so deeply in research that he wouldn't have time to think about women again, let alone in the way he'd become involved with Sha're. He kissed the crown of her head. He would never find another woman like Sha're. Never.

Daniel blinked as a low-flying Lear jet shot across his field of vision. He turned away from the mountainous backdrop and turned the keys in his car's ignition switch to the on setting. He knew he'd already started to become lost in routine after Sha're's death, before Sam had started doing her best to knock him out of it. He thought about Sha're's wish for him.

He vowed to her memory that he would not become another Kasuf.

-----------------

When Sam entered his office later that day, Sha're's warning, and his own vow, were still ringing in his ears.

"Hey, whatcha doing?" Sam asked, setting her helmet down on his desk in order to tug her leather jacket into place.

Daniel raised his eyebrows and shrugged at the mess of books scattered across his desk. "I volunteered to do some more translation for SG-10 until Harris gets back from leave."

Sam gave him a knowing smile. "You're worse than I am," she told him.

Daniel looked amused. "I don't know about worse – you're already pretty bad, Sam."

Sam laughed and ran her hand provocatively down the smooth curves of her jacket. "Am I?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows at him.

Daniel chuckled and dropped his chin into his palm, grinning up at her. "Oh yeah, VERY bad."

Sam giggled and pulled a stool up beside his. Daniel smiled. He loved hearing her giggle; she did it so rarely.

"Really, really bad?" Sam asked, her evil grin mocking his open smile.

"The worst kind of bad," he answered, giving her an intense stare.

Sam blushed and looked down at the book closest to Daniel. "So… you're going to be a while?" she asked.

Daniel sat up and blinked, looking down at the open book in front of him. "I hadn't thought I would be, but now I'm not so sure."

Sam leaned forward to look at the artifact that Daniel was deciphering and the reference book he had open. "Guess this means we're off for tonight, then?"

Daniel's eyes grew wide and he grimaced. "I knew there was something I forgot."

Sam gave him an empathetic smile. "I understand. Maybe tomorrow?"

Daniel shook his head. "No. I can work on this over the weekend. I have what I need copied right here…" He shut the reference book.

Sam opened the book back up. "No, Daniel. I really do understand. This is more important than some movie."

Daniel shut the book again. "No, it's not."

"Yes, it is," Sam said, opening the book back up.

"No, it's not," Daniel said, slamming the book shut.

"Yes, I said it is," Sam said, reaching over to reopen the large book.

Daniel pushed the large book out from under Sam's hand and her hand fell onto his. He caught her hand and pulled her towards him. "No, Sam, nothing is as important as you are," he told her, his playful demeanor morphing swiftly into something more intense and serious.

Sam felt her hand heat up, warm tingles shooting straight to her core. She looked into his hooded eyes and swallowed hard. Oh God.

"Sam…"

She met him halfway, her own repressed needs bucking to the surface far more easily than she thought they would. He surprised her by matching her passion and force with his own. As her jacket slid to the floor, she backed away for a moment to come up for air.

"Daniel," she said breathlessly.

He nodded and scraped together a few books, his photocopies, and notepads into one big heap and dumped it into his briefcase. "I'm out of here."

Tucking her helmet under her arm, Sam grabbed her jacket off the floor and strode out after the disappearing archeologist, stopping only to pick his car keys up off the floor where he'd dropped them in his rush to leave.

-----------------

Sam shut her eyes and turned away from Daniel as he aimed another intense look in her direction. The air felt so thick with sexual tension that she was surprised that Jack and Teal'c weren't picking up on it. She forced a smile back on her face for their well-meaning teammates who'd decided to pay Daniel a visit literally at the same time they'd made it back to Daniel's place.

Jack slowly nursed his beer and tried again to get her to give him more than a two-word response. "Busy day, Carter?"

"Yes, Sir."

He looked at her expectantly, waiting for a description. None came. He rolled his eyes and looked at Daniel. "What about you, Daniel?" he asked, nodding toward the pile of books strewn across the table.

Daniel floundered. "Busy, really busy." Sam thought he sounded lost.

Teal'c tilted his head. "O'Neill spoke of going to the movie theater this evening. Perhaps you would like to join us?" he asked Sam.

"No!" Sam answered.

Jack turned to her, his look questioning her emphatic tone. "And why not?" he asked her. "I think it's high time the four of us do something together. It's been a while."

Sam allowed herself a quick glance at Daniel. He was looking at her too, but it wasn't a questioning look; it was one of barely-contained desire. She nodded her head imperceptibly toward Daniel's guests and turned away. To look at him one moment longer… she would be over in that chair with him, Jack and Teal'c be damned.

Daniel cleared his throat and motioned to the pile of books and notepads on the table. "I asked Sam to come over to help me with this translation," he said.

Jack looked confused. "Carter speaks another language?"

Daniel's eyes went wide as he realized his mistake. "Uh, well, she knows this one…"

Teal'c looked amused and he turned to Jack, his cheek muscles twitching and the beginnings of a grin teasing the edges of his mouth. "O'Neill, perhaps we should allow Daniel Jackson and Major Carter to continue on with their…," he paused and aimed a knowing look at Sam, "…translation."

Jack tilted his beer bottle up and drained it, the confused look still on his face. "What about the movie?" he asked.

Teal'c stood. "I believe I know of a better alternative. You said you wished to teach me the finer points of shooting pool did you not?"

"Yeah, I guess I did," Jack said. "But…"

Teal'c gave him a smug look. "I wish to learn now."

Jack frowned.

"Now," Teal'c said, blinking slowly and grinning.

Jack sighed, knowing his friend had just done something to him and not understanding exactly what it was. "O'Malleys, then?"

Teal'c nodded. "Dinner will be on me," he said in a self-satisfied tone.

"I'd prefer it on a plate," Jack snarked. He pulled on his jacket and nudged the pile of books on Daniel's coffee table with his knee. "Have fun kiddies," he said, shaking his head at Sam and Daniel and following Teal'c to the door.

"It's a Friday night, for cryin' out loud, and they're WORKING!" Jack muttered to Teal'c as Teal'c held the door open for him. "Does that not tell you they need to come with us, Teal'c?"

Daniel held the door for Teal'c as he followed Jack out. "Have fun guys," Daniel called out before he slammed the door shut behind him.

"I thought they'd never leave!" Sam said, bursting out laughing as Daniel leaned against the closed door, an exasperated look on his face.

"I know," Daniel said, shaking his head. "Think Jack knew something was up?"

"Before or after you told him that I'd stopped by to help you with your translation?" Sam asked as Daniel approached her.

"Both," he said, coming close and wrapping his arms around her. "Remind me again why he and Teal'c came over here." He pushed his nose up to the shock of hair above her ear and slowly started to nuzzle the tender lobe beneath it. "Sam…"

Sam laughed and pulled away from him, leading him back into the living room. "Teal'c suspects something," she said.

"Ya think?" Daniel grinned, dropping down onto the couch. He stretched out and pulled Sam toward him. She laughed and allowed him to pull her down onto the couch and onto his chest, careful not to fall onto him too hard. He held her wrists in a tight grip; she giggled as he kissed the tips of each finger and she adjusted her legs to intertwine with his. She realized with a start this was nearly the position they'd been in during that firefight when…

She stopped laughing and searched his eyes, her lips parting.

Daniel's smile also disappeared and he gave her a look of raw desire. He blinked hard and pushed himself up to a sitting position, setting his glasses on top of one pile of books on the coffee table. Sam remained on her knees, sinking deep into the cushions as Daniel moved forward. She reached a hand over to his back to steady herself. He froze at her touch.

Sam looked at her hand on his back and moved it slowly down his spine. As she reached the bare skin between his tee-shirt and pants, Daniel pulled himself erect and a deep breath escaped him.

Her hand lingered on his bare skin. Daniel turned to give her a look that dared her to go further. He sat, tensely waiting to see if she was ready to take the step that would irrevocably change their lives.

Her hand still connected to him, she hesitated. Was this where she wanted to go? One more move, one more touch and she couldn't take it back. It would be forever.

Daniel had turned slightly toward her and his eyes roved back and forth from her eyes to her lips, his own parted and ready for her. She could feel the supercharged ions sparking and flowing between them. If she didn't make a move, she was certain that the air between them was going to explode.

She realized she was holding her breath. Was she ready for this? She hadn't been intimate with any man since Jonas; she hadn't had the time. Was she ready for Daniel? Was he ready for her and all her emotional baggage? Was she ready to move with him from sweet and funny to sexy and passionate?

Daniel's flushed face was starting to look tortured; he wanted her so badly he looked like he could jump out of his skin, but he was holding himself back, allowing her to make the choice.

Sam swam in the cerulean blue of his eyes, feeling herself losing control. One touch was all it had taken to make her realize this man meant more to her than the others. One touch this afternoon was all it had taken to ignite the physical desire that had been building since they had started to see each other. One kiss and furtive touches after they had rushed back to Daniel's after being unable to act on anything on base was all it had taken to make her realize…

She trusted him. She wanted him. She loved him. She wanted this.

She moved her hands up to cup Daniel's chin and locked her mouth on his. He reached for her face, responding to her kisses with a force that both surprised and delighted Sam and she willingly gave herself to him.

-----------------

Running her hand over the sheets beside her, Sam felt heat still emanating from the bed. So he hadn't been gone that long. She rolled over to his pillow and inhaled deeply. God, that was an enticing scent. Just pheromones, the logical part of her mind reminded her. Screw the pheromones, she thought as she inhaled again. She rolled onto her back, a wide grin on her face. Last night had been so good.

Sam hadn't been surprised when one thing had led to another the night before. They had both been ignoring the sexual tension that had wound itself into a tight mass in both of them for several weeks. All it had taken was that brush of his hand over hers in his office and she'd been his willing accomplice in everything that had followed. She hadn't known what to expect with him and had been surprised to find Daniel was such a gentle and generous lover. She laughed. Even though he had been married and she knew he'd had other intimate encounters during his life, it had been hard to knock the lingering impression that he was still an innocent school boy.

She snorted softly; innocent - right... That impression had lasted no longer than the amount of time it had taken him to undress her. Sam felt goosebumps rush up and down her body as she remembered the way he'd touched her during the night. The man had magic hands all right.

She sniffed the air. Something smelled delicious. She reached down to the floor and picked up the lightweight blanket that had fallen there late in the night. After wrapping it loosely around her body, she padded quietly out to the kitchen area.

Dressed only in baggy pajama bottoms, Daniel's back was to her as he concentrated on the skillet on his stove. Sam felt her body temperature rise considerably as she stood there watching his shoulder muscles bunch and twist as he reached over to the ingredients on the countertop and back again. She grinned again. She now had an up close and personal appreciation for the results of the weight training he'd started recently at her encouragement.

"It'll build up your stamina," she'd told him.

"My stamina for what?" he asked a sly look on his face.

A wicked grin had spread over Sam's face. "Covert operations."

Sam debated whether or not to interrupt him. She wanted so much to touch him, but... Yes, it was silly to be this unsure, but this was all still so new to her; an intimate relationship with someone like Daniel. A friend who'd been like a brother almost. Almost, but thank goodness not.

She approached him stealthily from behind and dropped her chin onto his shoulder, her hands circling around his waist. She tried not to surprise him - she didn't want him to burn himself or her. She peered over his shoulder. "Smells good."

Daniel jumped, a little surprised. He turned his head hard to look at her. He grinned as he watched Sam's eyes dart from the food to his eyes and back again. He didn't say anything, only smiled; a boyish, shy smile, a slightly proud smile, and a smile she just wanted to eat up now that she knew what was behind it.

She arched her head around to give him a quick kiss. "Sha're?" she asked, turning around to lean back against the countertop, arms crossed, as she tilted her head down toward the stove.

Daniel shook his head and reached quickly for a large spatula. "No. Cairo."

Sam looked confused.

"Egypt. I lived near Cairo for a while when I was doing research on the ancient archives of pre-Dynastic Heliopolis."

"Oh," Sam said. She watched him with open admiration. A linguist, an Egyptologist, a diplomat, an archeologist… and a chef, too. Quite a catch, this Doctor Jackson. She laughed.

Daniel's head whipped around, a puzzled look on his face.

Sam laughed again and reached a hand out to rub his shoulder. "It's nothing, Daniel."

"Find me amusing, eh?" he asked, turning the stove off and placing the skillet on the nearby cooling rack.

Sam didn't answer, her lips twitching with amusement, and her thumb continued to circle his shoulder.

Dan reached up and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards him and lifting her arms up around his shoulders. "You didn't answer my question, Doctor," he told her matter-of-factly.

"Didn't think I had to, Doctor," Sam replied in the same tone.

Daniel reached up to smooth her brow and trace along her cheekbone and Sam bent her head into his hand. He allowed that hand to drop down her side before reaching his other hand up to gently cup her chin, kissing her as if he were drinking a fine wine and savoring each taste.

Sam felt herself melt, helpless in his hands. Why had she avoided this for so long?

"The food?" she whispered as Daniel's mouth moved to her ear and his hands massaged the small of her back.

"That dish is meant to be eaten cold," Daniel explained as he nuzzled on her ear lobe before pulling her along with him towards his bedroom.

-----------------

Sam wondered how things would have turned out if she had continued her semi-serious flirtations with Jack. Nowhere, Sam. Nowhere at all. If Jack hadn't made a move in the three years before she and Daniel had become a couple, who was to say that he'd have ever stepped up and said he had feelings for her? Likely never.

She gave Daniel that much – for all the times that he got teased about his reticence, he hadn't been shy at all when he'd come up to her in the locker room or afterward, in fact he'd shown more balls than she ever would have in the same situation. At best she would have contented herself with a couple of extremely hot and vivid daydreams and never would have mentioned her attraction to him again.

She wondered why she had become that way when it came to men. She had absolutely no problem asking for things and dealing with men on a professional level, but when it became personal and romantic, she just clammed up, especially with men that she really wanted.

Jonas Hanson's sneering face popped into Sam's memory. There - right there - that was the reason. Him. For all the men she'd dated who'd been decent, there was Jonas, and he'd hurt her badly. She didn't want to be taken advantage of again. Military or not, her issues with Jonas had gone deep; more with his personality, with the darkness of his soul, and with herself for having allowed things to spiral out of control in the first place.

As she lay on her stomach on the rocky outcropping, she felt someone move up beside her. She could tell it was Daniel by the way he snuggled up closely, barely breathing. Each of her teammates had their own physical presence and she could tell without looking which one was approaching her.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Daniel asked.

"Oh, nothing," Sam answered, adjusting her chin on her clasped hands as she looked out over the sprawling vista beneath them.

Daniel shot her a long and knowing sideways glance. "I know that look," he said. "It's a bit of 'The Thinker' plus a little bit of something else; I'm not sure what."

Sam smiled. "Just thinking," she offered.

Daniel gave her a doubtful look and turned back to view the hills rolling away beneath them. "Probably some detailed calculations about how to get us down there…," he mused.

Sam smiled. Wrong guess. There was nothing detailed about how they were going to get down there - they'd be rappelling down the rock face as soon as Jack returned with the climbing gear and SG-9 who'd had experience doing this. She grinned mischievously at Daniel. What he didn't know wouldn't hurt him. Yet.

-----------------

Jack noticed something about his second-in-command was very different these days. The teasing banter with the sexual undercurrent was gone. He thought there'd been some mutual attraction going on between the two of them, but he'd kept his distance, not taking it beyond a certain point, patiently waiting for her to indicate that she was interested in anything further.

The professional teasing and the respect for one another were still there, but the banter that had hinted at deeper mutual attraction had disappeared entirely the past few weeks. Jack studied his second-in-command as they hiked back to the gate. What had happened? Or more like when had it happened? He decided to pay closer attention to the intrepid major in the future.

Something was up and he was interested in knowing exactly what it was.

-----------------

"No!"

Sam bolted upright from sleep and grabbed the letter opener off the nightstand where she'd left it earlier. She squinted into the deep darkness created by her black out curtains as she balanced the opener's sharpness in her hand, ready to arc it into the intruder. She held her breath and listened. There wasn't anyone there; Daniel must have been dreaming. She dropped the opener back onto the nightstand.

She leaned back down onto her side, propping herself up on her elbow to reach out to Daniel and caress his chin. Her thumb brushed over a slick wetness coating his cheek. "Daniel, what's wrong?"

Daniel shook his head. "Sha're's dead." His statement was more like a question.

Sam moved closer. "She is, Daniel. It's been a long time. Over a year." Sam lightly ran her fingertips over his brow, trying to smooth the deep furrows that she could feel creasing his forehead. "Bad dream?"

A ragged sigh escaped Daniel. "The worst kind, Sam. The ones where I'm back there, with Sha're, on Abydos. I can feel her. See her. Smell her. Touch her. Taste her. It's so damn vivid…" Her hand still caressing his brow, she felt him pull his face into a grimace, knowing he was fighting to keep from crying in front of her. "She's alive, Sam. In my dreams she's still alive. My mind totally blocks out the truth…" He shook his head.

She pulled him close, his head buried into her chest. "It's okay, Daniel." She could feel quiet sobs shaking from his core.

"No, it's not. I shouldn't feel like this," Daniel whispered.

Sam softly kissed the tuft of a cowlick sprouting from his forehead. "You're still grieving; it's going to take a long time. I understand, Daniel, I really do."

Daniel lifted his head; she could feel his hot breath on her neck. "But, Sam, it's not fair to you."

"Doesn't matter. I understand, Daniel. I've been there. I understand. Really."

"You dreamed about Jonas after he died?"

"I don't think so," Sam sighed. "You see, my mother died in a car accident when I was just a teenager, Daniel."

She heard a sharp intake of air. "I'm sorry, Sam, I didn't know."

Sam shrugged. "You wouldn't have… Anyway, it's been a long time now. For months, no, for years, even when I was at the Academy, I had those same dreams, Daniel. I could feel her smoothing my hair, smell the perfume that she wore, hear the love in her voice as she talked to me… I could literally feel it when she hugged me… It killed me to wake up every morning and realize it was all just a dream." Sam could still feel the anguish vividly, even after twenty years.

She felt Daniel's hand on her cheek. "Thank you, Sam."

"For what?"

"For being you. For being here. For understanding."

-----------------

After he went back to sleep, Sam stayed awake, thinking about her relationship with Daniel. It was still that secret pleasure that she enjoyed privately, savoring it whenever she needed something positive to focus on. Once their relationship was public, she knew everything would change and there'd be no return to the quiet sweetness that their relationship currently held. They hadn't actually talked about hiding their relationship from their friends and colleagues, but she knew he felt the same way about it as she did - the longer they could keep it just between the two of them, the longer it had to blossom into something much stronger and deeper.

As it was, she had gotten to the point that she couldn't think of life without his quiet support and the boyish eagerness he charmed her with without knowing it, without the respect and love he showered her with and the romance he'd put back in her life that he wasn't embarrassed to give or accept. And, Sam thought with a huge grin, she'd never been with a man who could whisper sweet nothings in her ear in so many languages while making love to her.

It wasn't to say that there weren't times when he didn't exasperate her, when her pragmatism conflicted strongly with his more laid back 'what would be, would be' outlook. But so far they hadn't had any major arguments, just minor disagreements. And she remembered well what knock-down, in your face arguments were like from the end of her relationship with Jonas Hanson. Maybe that's why she wanted to protect and hide this relationship for as long as she could. She'd never had anything this special before and she wanted it to last as long as she could.

She heard Daniel snuffle beside her as he turned over to face her. In his sleep he reached over to touch Sam, to assure himself that she was still there. Sam smiled as his hand lingered on her abdomen. This was something she could so get use to.

-----------------

"Daniel!" Jack yelled, crawling over to Daniel's prone body to shake him. "C'mon - wake up."

Sam shot an anxious glance at Daniel as she climbed to her feet. She checked her watch and looked back at her teammates on the other side of the force field. What had just happened to them? They'd been out for a while and now there wasn't much time left before the C-4 blew out the cooling system in the Goa'uld ship. She watched as Jack helped Daniel sit up.

"What happened?" Daniel asked groggily.

"Your armband fell off and you must have passed out," Sam called through the force field. "Apparently all of ours did."

"Any idea why, Carter?" Jack asked, getting to his feet and rubbing his forearm where the band had been.

Sam shook her head. "None, Sir."

Jack stuck an index finger into the force field. He frowned and shook his hand as he was shocked by the strong electrical current. Daniel came up beside him, a worried look on his face.

"Can't you get through it, Sam?" Daniel asked.

Sam raised her arm to remind him that her armband had also fallen off. "No. And now there's less than two minutes left before the cooling system goes."

Agitated, Jack looked around the archway. "There's got to be a way to disable the field," he said. He picked at the lid to the nearby control panel.

"There's no time for that!" Sam told him. "Get out of here!"

Jack ignored her and pulled the backpack full of naquadah bricks up off the floor and whipped it around his body, slamming into the control panel. He repeated it over and over until the panel cover flew off, emitting a shower of sparks and the loud shriek of metal being torn from metal. He punched angrily at the controls housed inside.

"Sir… Daniel… You've both got to get out of here!" Sam pleaded, her eyes darting back and forth between the two men. "Now!"

"So do you!" Daniel said, his hands held helplessly out in front of him.

Sam turned her head around as she heard the distinctive clanking of Jaffa armor. Damn. She turned back to the force field, her mouth open and her eyes pleading for these two men she cared so much about to go save themselves. "It's okay! Go!" she begged. "Please! There's not much time! Go save yourselves! I'll be okay."

"Like hell you will." Jack shook his head, still messing with the damaged control panel.

Daniel eased closer to the force field, equally passionately shaking his head. "No." His eyes told her he would never leave her. "Sam… I love you," he mouthed to her. Sam swallowed hard, seeing the pain in his eyes.

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she watched him, her lips barely moving as she whispered the same back to him. She was furious that he wouldn't save himself, but couldn't help being secretly thrilled by the knowledge that he loved her that much. She turned her back to him as she heard the Jaffa guards come around the corner.

"God, no! Sam!" Daniel yelled as the ship suddenly shuddered.

The Jaffa fell into a heap as the ship jostled them all. Sam bounced back up quickly, scrambling to her feet. "Did you see that?" she asked as the force field disintegrated.

Daniel nodded and reached out to grab Sam's hand, giving it a tight squeeze.

"C'mon," Jack said, heaving the naquadah backpack up off the floor. Sam and Daniel reached out to grab the other ends of the pack, and they took off down the corridor as fast as they could run.

Teal'c skidded to a halt as he turned the corner to find SG-1 barreling down the corridor toward him, and he raised his staff weapon out in front of him as he caught sight of the Jaffa contingent tailing his teammates. SG-1 dropped to the ground as Teal'c blasted the Jaffa several times. Teal'c threw his zat gun to Jack and picked up the backpack, joining them in their sprint out of the ship.

"Nice of you to join us, Teal'c," Jack said breathlessly.

"I was unable to disable the force field from the outside," Teal'c pointed out, huffing at the weight he was carrying. "I was forced to wait until the shield dropped."

Jack looked over at his friend for a second. "I know. Seriously - thanks."

-----------------

Sam entered the observation area filled with trepidation. Only a few hours earlier they'd watched Lieutenant Astor as she'd went through the za'tarc testing, and Sam had been as surprised as the others when the machine's output monitor showed the unwanted bull's eye. Astor had been a za'tarc. She shut her eyes and shook her head as she recalled what had happened when Anise had tried to remedy Astor's za'tarc programming. Damn. And now it was SG-1's turn. What would their options be if they were za'tarcs too? With the president's summit with the Tok'ra only hours away this was so not the time for this.

As Anise administered the test to each of them, they rotated in and out of the observation area, Hammond nodding to each team member and Janet giving them each a small smile. Jack looked like the weight of the universe was lifted from his shoulders when his turn came and he made it out without the infamous bull's eye. He'd admitted he'd stayed behind on the ship because he wasn't about to leave the SGC's most prized asset on a Goa'uld ship to die. Sam had smiled at her commanding officer's sentiments concerning her.

Sam stared stoically ahead while she was tested, explaining how she'd awakened to find herself on one side of the force field and Jack and Daniel on the other.

"Then you did what?" Anise asked, looking at the machine's instrument panel.

"I told Daniel and the Colonel to go on without me."

"To leave you behind?" Anise asked, a doubtful tone creeping into her voice.

"Yes," Sam said emphatically. "The timer on the C-4 was counting down. I knew that without the advantage of the armbands, it was going to be tight getting back to the stargate before the ship's power core exploded."

"What did Colonel O'Neill and Dr. Jackson do?" Anise asked.

Sam relayed her experiences aboard the Goa'uld ship. Looking at the machine's display for a long moment, Anise turned back to Sam and asked her in a skeptical tone if she was sure she was telling her everything. Sam nodded. Anise continued to watch her and asked her again if she was sharing everything.

"Yeah," Sam said, and then she did a doubletake. "No, you're not serious." When the hell had that happened? What was going to happen to her?

She stood off to one side of the room surrounded by guards to watch as Daniel was tested. He received the same bull's eye. "No…," he said, shaking his head and shutting his eyes. "I'm not a za'tarc!" He looked at Sam. "Please tell them I'm not," he pleaded, picking at the band encircling his head.

Sam looked back at the man who'd been her lover for so many months now. How could he be one? How for that matter could she be? When, except for being unconscious for a few moments on that ship would they have had the chance to be programmed? Her mind raced through the answers they'd just given. What had they said that triggered the bull's eye? What had they not said? She shut her eyes and replayed Daniel's answers. Then her own. Again and again. The guards at her side gripped her biceps and pushed at her, trying to remove her from the room.

"Wait!" Sam said.

Everyone turned to face her. Jack looked pained, still in shock that half his team had been discovered to be za'tarcs. Hammond and Janet were huddled in conference up in the observation room.

Anise cocked her head. "What is it, Major Carter?"

"The machine is wrong," Sam said emphatically.

Anise shook her head. "No, it could not be. It is a perfect machine."

Sam heard Jack snort. She looked at Anise. "I think I know why it thinks we're za'tarcs. Please test us again."

"Will you not explain this?" Anise asked.

"Just test us again," Sam pleaded.

Daniel looked at her. "Sam?" he asked, his brow furrowed.

Sam swallowed hard. She looked at the two guards. "A moment please?" They held onto her arms. "Look, go stand at the door - I'm not going anywhere, okay?" The guards looked at Jack who nodded back at them.

"Sam, what's going on?" Daniel whispered as Sam came closer. His eyes were wide and bluer than they usually were as he fought to keep at bay the tears of frustration that were forming from being falsely accused and from the fear that they'd end up like Astor. "I'm not a za'tarc," he said through gritted teeth.

"I know," Sam said, bending down in front of him. "Neither am I."

"Then why don't they believe us?" he asked, looking around the room.

Sam shut her eyes for a moment. "The machine, Daniel. It's the machine. We didn't tell them everything and the machine thinks we're lying."

Daniel shot Sam an open-mouth look of exasperation. "I told them EVERYTHING. Am I supposed to make things up? Now that - that really would be lying."

"Daniel," Sam said softly, "we left a piece of the equation out."

"Like what?" Daniel asked, a little less angrily.

"Us."

Daniel arched a brow. "Us? What do you mean, Sam? What does 'us' have to… do… with…" Daniel stopped and looked down at his lap. "Oh."

"Yeah," Sam said. "Oh."

"But what will they do to us, Sam?"

"We'll deal with that when we get to it," Sam said. "Right now we need retested, and quickly, before they change their minds." She turned and walked back over to Anise and nodded. "Please."

Anise slowly turned to face Hammond who nodded his approval. Sam watched as Daniel repeated all of his initial answers the same as before. Anise paused before the next question. "So you stood there and did nothing to help Major Carter?" she asked.

Daniel glowered at her. "What else could I do? I'm an archeologist, not an electrical engineer. Jack was already doing everything he could with the control panel."

"But you could have saved yourself, yes?" Anise asked.

Daniel looked like he could cry, his frustration having reached a breaking point. His knuckles were white as he gripped the chair. "Yes," he spat out. "I could have saved myself. I was ordered to do so by Jack and was told to go save myself by Sam." He looked past Anise to Sam. "But I didn't. I couldn't. And I wouldn't."

"Why wouldn't you?" Anise asked, watching the monitor.

Daniel blinked hard and several tear droplets darkened his eyelashes. "I'm so sorry, Sam, I know we were going to keep this to ourselves for as long as we could…" His nostrils flared as he glared at Anise. "I chose not to because I'm in love with Sam." His voice deepened as he stared at Sam. "We are… we have been in a relationship for a while now."

"A relationship?" Anise asked, a slightly surprised tone raising the pitch of the normally staid Tok'ra's voice. "Are you not just friends?"

Sam nodded at Daniel, her own eyes shiny with tears. There would be no more hiding it now. She'd just have to accept whatever happened to them from this point on.

Daniel's voice dropped even lower. "More than just friends. Lovers." He paused. "I love her. If she died, I wouldn't have any reason to go on."

Anise pursed her lips and watched the screen as did Sam. No bull's eye. "You are not a za'tarc," Anise pronounced, much to Daniel's obvious relief.

Jack jerked his head around. "Excuse me?!" he said, looking at Sam for confirmation of what Daniel had just admitted.

Sam avoided his look and helped unhook Daniel from the za'tarc machine. Daniel looked miserable.

"Sam…," he said, touching her hand as she pulled the wrist strap off.

"It's okay," she said softly. "It would have come out sooner or later."

Daniel stood up next to her. "But not like this."

Sam shrugged and sat down for her for her retest.

-----------------

Hammond stood in the briefing room, looking through the large window out into the gateroom, his hands held firmly behind him. Jack stood next to him, mimicking his commander's posture. "Colonel, did you know about this?" Hammond asked.

Jack shook his head. "Not a clue, Sir."

Jack thought about the gut feeling he'd had when he'd noticed that Sam's attentions had drifted away from him. That he'd thought his second-in-command had had the hots for him at some point wasn't the kind of thing that he cared to mention to Hammond. He tried to think back through the missions of the past few months. Was there anything that would have alerted him to the fact they were having a romantic relationship right under their collective noses? He thought of a couple of instances, but his memory was fuzzy enough that he wasn't so sure. They'd done a damned good job of hiding it; he had to give Sam and Daniel that much.

He heaved a sigh.

"Something you care to share, Colonel?" Hammond asked, glancing at the SG-1 team commander.

Jack shook his head. "No, not really."

Hammond frowned. "You know how I feel about SG-1, don't you?" he asked quietly.

Jack winced. "Well, Sir, if you could refresh my memory again…"

Hammond gave him a look. "Look, Jack, I really don't want to mess with SG-1. Your unit has proven time and time again what they can do." He paused. "Even when two of its members apparently have been keeping a romance under wraps." He cleared his throat. "But what you've all done is good enough for me."

"And those implied others?" Jack asked, raising an eyebrow. "Senator Kinsey and company?"

Hammond pursed his lips. "That's why I asked you to meet with me, Jack. I need justification for keeping them on the same team."

Jack was quiet for a minute. "Well, Daniel isn't military for starters…"

"But that wouldn't matter to them," Hammond pointed out. "The fraternization regulations apply equally across the board. You know that."

Jack nodded. "Yes, Sir, I do. On the other hand, if there is the off-chance that one of them is reassigned, we stand to lose both of them, Sir. And knowing Carter and Jackson like I do, if they're that serious about each other, I don't think the other would stay for very long if one of them was forced to leave." He dipped his head back and forth. "Although I really don't think either one of them would really do that, but if you're going out on that proverbial justification limb, Sir…"

Hammond stared at him.

Jack swallowed hard and grimaced. "And in all honesty, Sir, I couldn't see anyone else on my team. It just wouldn't work." He looked at Hammond. "Or work as well," he admitted.

Hammond nodded. "I know, Jack," he said quietly. "That's why I haven't reassigned any of your team, although I've been under a great deal of pressure to do so."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

Hammond shook his head. "You don't want to know."

Jack opened his mouth and raised his index finger, then thought better of it. "Yes, Sir." He looked back out the window. "Uhhh… okay, how about the fact that they've both single-handedly saved the world a few times apiece?"

-----------------

"What?" Sam asked, feeling very self-conscious as she pushed the heavily-weighted straight bar back up to the crutch in the rack at her head. Teal'c had been grinning at her for several minutes and for him to do that for that long just wasn't normal.

"What is it? Broccoli in my teeth?" she asked.

Teal'c only grinned at her, looking for all the world just like the Cheshire cat.

Sam started to laugh as she sat up. "Teal'c! You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

Teal'c looked smug. "It is not what is wrong, it is that which is right."

Sam looked confused. "Okay… and that which is right… means what?"

The cheesy grin returned to Teal'c's face. Unable to help it, Sam burst out laughing. Teal'c never smiled like this. "C'mon, Teal'c! What's this all about?"

Teal'c tilted his head. "Are you truly in love with Daniel Jackson?" he asked.

Sam's eyes widened and her smile disappeared. "What?"

Teal'c sat down beside her on the flat bench, tilting his head in anticipation of her answer.

"Of course I am. Why?" she asked, watching him closely.

Teal'c grinned a wide, closed-mouthed grin that actually reminded her of the Grinch this time. "Again, it is that which is right."

Sam patted his shoulder and shook her head. "I think you need to visit the infirmary," she said playfully. She walked over to pull more weights off the weight rack for Teal'c's turn at pressing.

Teal'c didn't answer, only grinning wider as he helped her add the weights. Sam realized this was how her warrior friend was going to share his approval of her relationship with Daniel and she laughed. It was okay, and it was, as Teal'c was saying, all right.

-----------------

The storm raged outside the structure SG-1 had taken shelter in. The humidity was so thick that the thunder literally hung in the air, rolling and roiling, shaking the air like a quaking gel. The rain had gone from heavy to torrential, pounding against the small structure's outer walls. At least the structure was rainproof. The flooding had swamped the lowlands around them. There'd be no visiting the Antillans until the storm broke and daylight returned.

At home Sam would have enjoyed watching nature's spectacle. Here, off-world, in a small structure that Sam was unsure would hold up through the night if the weather kept up at this hard clip - there were plenty of other places where she'd rather be at the moment. The team had watched the rain for a while from the doorway when they first found the shelter and had decided to take their chances here after Sam had calculated their chances of finding a better shelter to be nil or next to nil.

A bright flash and an ear-splitting crack made Sam jump. Close. Too close. Another bright flash illuminated Teal'c's serene features. She smiled. He was managing to kel'no'reem even in the midst of all of this. On the other side of Teal'c she could see Jack's profile outlined razor sharp by the next surge of light through the door. He had his head resting on the wall and his eyes closed, but she knew he wasn't sleeping – storms normally only served to make him more agitated and restless. But at least he was quietly waiting this one out.

She turned to Daniel, sitting between her and Teal'c. Daniel had moved close so that they were touching from their shoulders to feet. She knew he didn't like thunderstorms any more than Jack did, not after a particularly bad lightning storm had knocked out the power at her house one evening he was there. He'd been unable to relax and had fretted about tornados and fires until the slow-moving, late night storm had passed.

"Stop worrying about it, Daniel," Sam had admonished him.

Daniel had pouted at her. "But it's what I do!"

She hadn't been able to do anything but laugh at her overly-worried lover.

She felt Daniel's hand surreptitiously slide up her thigh to where she'd rested her hand. He intertwined his hand in hers and gently rubbed his thumb on the base of her palm. She returned the gesture. It was his signal that he loved her. She turned her head to look at this lover of hers, not so long ago just a friend. He was still a friend, a very good friend, to her, but he'd become so much more to her. Her best friend, her confidant, her cheerleader, her BS detector…

Another flash lit his face and she saw that he was watching her, too. Sam was so tempted to lean over and nuzzle that small, full mouth, but it was a temptation she couldn't afford. Once started, neither of them would be able to stop. Instead, she leaned to her right and rested her head on his shoulder. She'd resisted that initial attraction she'd had to Jack and had succeeded. But she wasn't going to resist Daniel anymore, except times like now when they were on the job.

She thought back to when Jack had talked privately to her after the za'tarc testing. He'd tried to assure her that he'd known all along that she wasn't a za'tarc. "Damn those old boyfriends, eh?" he asked.

Sam smiled wryly at him. While Martouf had held an attraction for her early on, especially due to the memories of Jolinar, he had ended up being the za'tarc and had committed suicide by overloading the Goa'uld hand weapon he'd been programmed to use to kill the Tau'ri president and Tok'ra leader with. But he hadn't been a boyfriend to her. No more than Jack had been.

Jack grinned at her. "And those new boyfriends, too."

Sam arched an eyebrow at him. Jack sounded a bit put out.

Jack opened and shut his mouth several times before finally starting to speak. "When did… I thought… Is he treating you…" Jack couldn't get a full sentence out.

Sam smiled at him. So Jack had had some kind of feelings for her. Why hadn't he said anything back then to her? She wondered again what would have come of a relationship with him. She frowned. Nothing, that's what. He was her commanding officer and the frat regs would have been there bothering and hindering them every step of the way, even more strictly than it bound her and Daniel.

She started to answer his questions. "Lovers? Not so long before the za'tarc testing," she said. Jack winced at the word. "Yes, I was attracted to you, but you never said anything – what was I to know?" Jack looked guilty. He knew he'd let her go, not the other way around. "And yes, he does treat me wonderfully."

"Are you happy, Sam?" Jack asked.

Sam nodded. She was. More than she'd been in a long, long time. For the first time in a long time, she had a fully-functioning, normal adult romantic relationship with a man who she didn't have to fix. In fact, he'd helped fix many of the issues that she'd had left over from some of her previous failed relationships.

Jack looked away for a moment, then back at her. "Isn't it like making out with your brother?" he asked.

"Sir!"

Jack waved his hand. "Forget I asked that, Carter."

Sam was brought back to the present by Daniel's increased pressure on her hand as he continued to knead her hand and she snuggled closer to him, adjusting her head to a more comfortable position. The storm hadn't abated one bit, she sighed, but she could care less -–she was near the man who loved her and to whom she had given her heart.

-----------------

Sam awakened to find Daniel trying to adjust his own position without waking her. "It's okay, I'm awake," she whispered, pulling away from him. She got to her feet and walked over to the door. The sky had turned a cerulean blue and she could see small grey puffs rising from nearby valleys as the morning sun burned off the moisture.

A profusion of wildflowers that hadn't been there the day before had burst forth from the receding pools of water. She noted that the structure, built on top of a low ridge, had remained above the flood waters and SG-1 had a clear path to the next rise which would take them up to even higher ground. Sam shook her head; the driving rain had been so heavy last night that they hadn't been able to tell what was high and what was low.

"It does not appear to be raining any longer," Teal'c observed from underneath a nearby tree as he caught sight of Sam standing in the doorway.

"No. Really?" Jack asked sarcastically as he poked a nearby eddy with a long stick.

Sam turned back and gave Daniel the most lingering of good morning looks before she turned back toward Jack and Teal'c. She reached down to reattach her P-90 to her jacket, and, smoothing back her still-damp hair, she settled her cap on top of the whole mess.

"Get a good sleep, Carter?" Jack asked, catching sight of Sam in the doorway. She stuck her tongue out at him. He returned the action and turned back to Teal'c. "No more than ten clicks. We would have been there last night if it hadn't been for that damn storm." He slid his sunglasses on and started to walk out the ridgeline toward higher ground, waving at the others. "Let's head out."

Sam felt Daniel draw near and his light touch in the small of her back. "Morning, Sam," he said softly in her ear. She smiled, but didn't turn around.

"Morning, Daniel," she said, stepping down onto the soggy ground and heading out to follow Jack and Teal'c.

-----------------

Thera/Sam nodded at the tray of wafers behind the dour woman in front of her. "Kegan, how about some bread?" Sam asked. Anything to make the lukewarm mush in her bowl more palatable.

"Sorry, just gave out the last piece," Kegan told her, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh, here we go. Every time!" Jonah/Jack moaned behind Sam.

"What is your problem?" Sam asked Kegan, her pulse beginning to race. She really couldn't stand this woman. Every meal time it was the same – a fight to get the barest minimum of food. Why did Kegan hate her? Was it her? Was it Jonah? What was her problem?

"I don't have a problem!" Kegan retorted.

"And we don't have any bread!" Sam responded hotly.

Carlin/Daniel came around to the front of the food line. "Is there a problem here?" he asked.

"Stay out of this," Jack warned him.

"Jonah, there are other people waiting!" Daniel complained.

Sam watched wide-eyed as Jack reached out to grab Kegan's arm. "Give her the damn bread!" he ordered.

Sam jumped back as Daniel reached out to yank Jack's hand off of Kegan's arm. Sam was helpless to keep Jack from responding. She knew he had a quick temper, but he'd managed to keep it under control until today. She watched open-mouthed as the two men exchanged heated looks and hard punches before the man with the funny mark on his forehead, Tor, appeared in the mix, grabbing Jack and pulling him away from Daniel who had become pinned to the ground.

"This is not right!" Tor/Teal'c admonished him. "The two of you are friends, O'Neill!" Tor insisted as Jack struggled to get out of his grip and Tor squeezed Jack's biceps even harder.

"Stay out of it!" Jack yelled at him.

"We are part of something called SG-1. I am Teal'c. Do you not remember?" Sam thought Tor sounded desperate to make them understand.

"Somebody get this guy off me!" Jack cried.

Sam wasn't surprised that it took three large men to pull Tor away from Jonah. Tor was huge. It also sounded like he was crazy with that night sickness. Although she did wonder what this SG-1 was that he was talking about. She didn't remember anything called SG-1. After Brenna ordered Kegan to distribute a new tray of bread, Sam wandered off to the side of the room to sit next to Jonah, tacitly avoiding the area where Carlin had sat down and Kegan had followed him to.

-----------------

"I don't know why you bother with them," Kegan complained to Daniel as they ate in a darker corner of the room. "They don't care for the rest of us." She frowned. "I have seen them in the boiler room when they thought no one was looking. They plot against us, and they also…"

Daniel's head shot up. "In the boiler room?" he asked.

Kegan nodded. "Late at night, when all good workers are resting for work in the morrow, I have seen them with my own eyes."

Daniel arched an eyebrow. "What were you doing out after curfew?" he asked.

Kegan darkened as a flush stained her cheeks. She ignored his question, slowly chewing on her bread wafer.

Daniel wondered about her defensiveness. So what was Kegan hiding? Was she someone else's lover now? He honestly couldn't remember when the last time he'd been with her was. He worried about his memories becoming fuzzy – was he getting nightsick? All he did remember was that he had a lover and it had to be Kegan since there were no other women here in their subterranean world that he found himself attracted to, with the exception of Thera.

He tried wiping that thought from his mind – it was obvious that Thera had a long-standing relationship with that Jonah idiot and Daniel wasn't about to intrude there, he swore, wiping the last traces of blood from his cheek. He looked back at Kegan, discreetly touching her hand as he reached onto her plate to grab the extra piece of bread she had given herself.

"Meet me in the boiler room this evening?" he asked, his voice lowering.

Kegan flushed even darker. "We will be caught," she said, shaking her head in disagreement.

"No, we won't."

Daniel watched as Thera and Jonah passed by them on their way back to work. Jonah gave him a menacing look while Thera completely ignored him and Kegan.

"How can you be sure we will not?" she questioned him.

"Covert ops are a snap," he told Kegan.

"What was that?" Kegan asked, surprised.

"What?" Daniel asked, raising his brow in response.

"Covert ops? What is that?"

"I'm not sure," Daniel admitted. "It just sounded good." He stood up. "Second whistle blow after lights out?" he asked her.

Kegan looked around fearfully. "I will try."

Daniel gave her an intense look. "I'll be expecting you then."

-----------------

Sam stopped pacing. "It's not like I'm making this up off the top of my head!" she angrily spat out. "I've got a detailed plan, including safeguards."

"I'm sure Brenna knows that," Jack said consolingly.

"I could make a difference here. But she won't let me!" Sam turned away.

Jack came up behind her. "Why don't you go back to her in a couple days? Offer up something small?" He shrugged. "Maybe you've got to work into the big stuff."

"How do you stay so calm?" Sam asked, a look of amusement on her face.

"I think in another life I've handled dangerous explosives."

"What do you mean in another life?" Sam asked, her eyes wide.

"I didn't mean anything by it," Jack said, shaking his head. "It's just an expression, isn't it?"

He turned to watch as Carlin/Daniel walked past, off to finish his shift at the coal pit. Once he was out of sight, Jack turned back to Sam and locked eyes with her. "So Thera," he said. "Whatcha doing after lights out?" He watched in amusement as she blushed in response.

"Sleeping."

"Oh really?" he asked.

Sam raised her head back up, a twinkle in her eye. "Why? What're you doing?"

"Oh, I don't know," Jack said. "I though I might be able to spend some quality time with a close friend if she'd have me."

"Oh?" Sam said. "And just how much time might that be?"

"A few minutes at most."

Sam's eyes widened. "Just a few minutes?"

It was Jack's turn to redden. "No, I'm not that fast… I mean, you know… seeing how we almost got caught last time by Brenna, we don't want to be out there that long…"

Sam nodded her understanding and a subtle grin spread over her face. "Your bunk or mine?" she asked quietly as other groups of other workers walked past.

Jack tilted his head. "Like living dangerously now, do we?" He chuckled. "Adrenaline junkie."

Sam gave him a quizzical look. "Adrenaline junkie? What's that?"

Jack looked confused and a bit worried. "I don't know. Honest. Don't you?"

Sam shook her head.

-----------------

Thera/Sam finished buttoning her jacket and snuggled up next to Jonah/Jack. "You're saying that helps you to remember more?" she asked, laughing.

Jonah/Jack smirked. "Well, there could be less satisfying ways to jog my memory…"

"What do you remember now?" Sam asked as Jack wrapped his arm around her.

Jack's expression changed to one of intense concentration. "I remember something - a man. He's bald and wears a short-sleeved shirt and somehow he's very important to me… I think his name is Homer."

Sam shrugged. "It doesn't ring a bell."

Jack grimaced. "Damn. You?"

"Just a lot of vague images," she said, leaning over to rest her head on his shoulder. She smiled. "You know there are things about this place that I like."

"Really?" Jack asked, looking down at her twinkling eyes. "Would it mean anything if I told you I remember something else?"

"What?" Sam asked.

"Feelings."

"Feelings?"

"I remember feeling feelings," Jack said quietly.

"For me?" Sam asked. Maybe that would explain why she felt like she was in love with him.

"No, for Tor," Jack said sarcastically.

Sam laughed.

"I don't remember much still," Jack admitted. "But I do remember that."

"So…" Sam said. She hoped he would remember more than she did about their relationship.

"So… I'm just saying."

"Well then, I feel better." Sam smiled. They'd just have to bide their time until more memories came back.

-----------------

After she watched Teal'c escort Brenna into the stairwell to take her up to the gate, Sam turned to give Jack an uncomfortable look. As she looked deep into his intense brown eyes, her own widened as the final deluge of dammed up memories spilled out into the deepest recesses of her mind. She continued to stare at Jack as she finished fitting together the pieces of her memories, old and new.

This man wasn't her lover.

She looked at Daniel. Oh God. She saw the same aghast look on Daniel's face that was on Jack's and that she knew must be on her own. What did Daniel know? What had he seen or heard? She watched as he closed his eyes, wincing and rubbing his forehead in consternation. Sam's eyes narrowed as she recalled Daniel's closeness to the woman, Kegan. What had he done?

She turned back to Jack. "Sir…"

Jack winced at the formality. "Major?" he responded, shaking his head at his second-in-command. His wince deepened as he began to understand why he'd felt so uncomfortable. What had felt like a secret rendezvous banned by P3R-118's underground culture, hadn't felt wrong because of their culture, but because of his. Thera - Sam - wasn't unattached and free; she was engaged in a very serious relationship with a member of his team, with one of his closest friends. He looked down at the floor, trying his damnedest to forget what it had felt like, furtively making love to Sam in the recesses of the boiler room.

Daniel's eyes shot open as an image of Sam's back filled his head, her body arched backwards, the look of ecstasy that he knew well filling her face. As she bent farther back he caught a glimpse of spikes of grey hair rising above her chin. Daniel's mouth dropped open as the head lifted and he saw Jack nuzzling his way up Sam's chest and neck, and over her chin to take her mouth.

Daniel stared at Sam in front of him, his consciousness still struggling to combine his mindstamped memories to those he had from before. Daniel cleared his throat, breaking the uneasy silence that had settled upon the three. "Uh, I don't know about you," he started, "but, uh, most all of my memories seem to, uh, be back now." He paused. "And, uh, I seem to, uh… recall everything that happened since we've been here."

"Everything?" Jack asked.

It was Sam's turn to wince. "Everything," she said. She stood immobile, part of an uneven triangle in Brenna's office, the tension building thick as each of the three realized what they'd done and struggled to make sense of who they were and who they temporarily had been.

Teal'c returned to Brenna's door. "Is there a matter which requires my assistance?" he asked, looking around at the worried expressions of his teammates.

Daniel shook off his wide-eyed expression first. "Uh, no. Nothing we can't handle, right?" he asked, glancing quickly at Sam and then at Jack as he strode out of the room toward the steps.

"Sure, right…" Jack said quietly, shrugging as he passed by Teal'c.

Sam didn't answer as she filed past Teal'c. She was trying to stop the memories of Jack's lovemaking from interspersing themselves with those of Daniel. Damn it! She didn't want these memories. She hadn't asked for them. Couldn't she just forget it all? Just how were they going to handle this without breaking the team apart, she wondered miserably as she ascended the stairs.

-----------------

"So you and Daniel didn't find any time alone there?" Janet asked in a sly tone as Cassie ran after the Frisbee Janet had thrown out ahead of them.

Sam blushed; she'd been avoiding both Daniel and Jack for the past several days since their return from P3R-118 so that she wouldn't be reminded of what had happened. "No. We didn't really know who we were, especially those first days…"

Janet stopped walking and lifted her chin to better see her tall friend's face. "Sam. What happened? Something's not right, I can tell." She pursed her lips, sizing Sam up. "What didn't you put in your report this time?"

Sam didn't answer.

Janet frowned. "Come to think of it, none of you've really told us how your alternate personalities interacted. How did you all get along?"

Sam looked away. "I don't remember."

"Liar," Janet said. "You're hiding something, Sam Carter. You'd better tell me what it is!" Janet teased lightheartedly.

Sam squinted into the distance, a hard look on her face. "I'm not hiding anything, Janet. I just don't want to talk about it."

"Okay…," Janet said, taking a deep breath. "So… doing anything fun with Daniel this evening?"

Sam suppressed a flinch. "No."

"He's working late?" Janet asked.

Sam shut her eyes. "I don't know… we haven't really talked much since we got back. Too busy…"

"Sam."

"Really," Sam said. "He had to jump into a translation, I had to finish the…"

"Sam! Stop this!"

Janet shook her head at Cassie who had stopped running to turn around to face her adoptive mother. "Go on Cassie, we'll catch up." She turned back to Sam. "Sam, what happened? You weren't raped were you?" she asked, her voice full of concern. "You know you're supposed to report that immedia…"

Sam raised her hand to stop Janet. "No. I wasn't," she interrupted.

"Okay then. Was it consensual?"

"Who says it had anything to do with sex?" Sam asked her.

"Sam… I'm your best friend, remember? I think I know by now the things you don't like to talk about…"

Sam bit her lip. "Janet… Jack and I… and I think Daniel and that woman, Kegan…" Sam fought back the angry tears that sprung to her eyes. She shook her head, and, crossing her arms, she started to walk away.

"Sam," Janet said, jogging to keep up with her friend. "It's okay, Sam."

"No, it's not," Sam said angrily. "It should have never happened. I shouldn't have ignored those warning feelings."

"I thought you said while the mindstamp was working you didn't know who you were."

"I didn't, but it didn't stop me from having a gut feeling that something was wrong," Sam bitterly explained.

"So why didn't you just say no?" Janet asked.

"Because I thought that Jack was who I was in lo… Oh hell, Janet. I don't know. It's been all I've thought about the past couple days and… I. Don't. Know!"

"Okay…," Janet said. She picked up the Frisbee that Cassie had thrown their way and returned the plastic disc back to her daughter in a long wide arc. "You've talked to Daniel about this yet?"

"No."

"Jack?"

"No!" Sam said.

"Sam. You have to! You can't keep this bottled up inside you. It's not healthy for any of you. You won't be able to function as a team very well for much longer if you don't."

Sam snorted. "Is that my friend or physician talking?"

"Both," Janet said firmly. "I don't want to have to make counseling mandatory or be forced to put this in each of your files. You know that."

Sam nodded. "So… what if we agree to talk about it?" she asked.

Janet pursed her lips to the side. "Well, it'd be a start. At least you three would be talking again."

Sam's eyes widened. "It's that noticeable?"

Janet nodded. "The General thinks it's post-traumatic stress syndrome and that I'm treating each of you for it. And I'll be honest, Sam - if what happened is what I think did, then it's better for it to remain just that."

"I know." Sam sighed. "I'll call Daniel this evening."

"Now, Sam."

"Later, Janet."

"Now." Janet reached inside her tote bag and pulled out her cellphone, handing it to Sam. She waved at Cassie.

"Now, Sam," Janet ordered, walking away.

Sam punched in Daniel's home number.

"Hello? Janet?"

Sam swallowed hard. She'd forgotten that Daniel had Caller ID on his phone. "No. It's Sam."

Daniel was quiet. "Oh. Sam."

"Oh, Sam?" Sam mimicked.

"Okay. Hi, Sam. How are you, Sam?" he said snidely.

"Fine, Daniel. Just fine, Daniel," Sam spat back.

They were both quiet.

"Daniel, we need to talk."

"Ya think?" Daniel asked.

Sam paused. She'd never truly argued with him before. What was she going to say to him? "No. Not really, if you want to know the truth," she said sharply. "But Janet's threatened to tell Hammond and put us all in counseling or worse if we don't do something ourselves and soon."

"Oh." Daniel sounded a bit deflated.

"Yeah - oh," Sam echoed.

"So?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know, Daniel. You name the time and place. I just want to get it over with."

"Us? Or this… discussion?" Daniel asked.

"Honestly, I don't know," Sam snapped.

Daniel took a while to answer. Sam knew she was hurting him, but she didn't care; she was hurting too.

"I've got a seminar tomorrow, so that's out," he said. "Tonight, around seven, my place?"

"I'll be there at six-thirty after I drop Cassie and Janet off."

"Fine," Daniel said.

"Fine," Sam echoed, turning the phone off. Fine then.

-----------------

Sam felt like a porcupine, her bristles all taut and ready to spike Daniel if he dared touch her sore, soft spots. He'd already started off on the wrong foot when he'd opened his door only to give her a condescending once-over glance before turning away from her in disdain. Sam wondered what had happened to the Daniel she knew and loved. She didn't like the arrogance of the man in front of her.

"So, what do you have to say for yourself?" Daniel asked, aiming a hard glare in her direction after she'd followed him into his kitchen.

"Me? What about you?" she asked incredulously.

"What do I have to apologize for?" he asked, pulling two glasses from the dishwasher.

"Apologize?" Sam asked.

Daniel's face tightened into a hard dark knot. "Kegan caught you and Jack several times making…" Daniel's voice trailed off.

"And you believe Kegan?" Sam asked.

"Sam, I saw it one time myself, just before we started fully regaining our memories."

Sam gulped hard. Okay, so she couldn't pretend like it never had happened… But what about him? He was as guilty as she was. "You haven't answered me yet, Daniel," she pressed. "What about you and Kegan?"

Daniel set the glasses down and looked away from Sam.

"Well?" Sam asked.

"It was nothing," he said quietly.

"What was nothing?" she pressed again.

"Nothing happened," he said petulantly.

"Oh, for cryin' out loud!" Sam jerked her head up in exasperation. "That's a lie."

"No, it's not," Daniel said, not meeting her eyes.

"Liar," Sam pronounced. She shook her head. "Daniel, I saw you with Kegan, too."

"Oh," Daniel said, embarrassed.

"Yeah, 'oh' is right," Sam said. "Why Daniel? Why did you do it?"

Daniel finally looked back up at her. "Given the circumstances, I guess I didn't know any better," he said angrily. "And what about you… and Jack? You, Sam, of all people… Why did you do it? Did it feel that right?"

Sam looked away, blushing. It had felt right. Something had felt wrong about it too, but she'd blamed it on the illicitness of intimate physical contact in such close quarters.

"Well?" Daniel asked, pushing a glass into the ice crusher. "Did it? Was it? Is Jack what you want?"

Sam felt a knot form in her throat. Was it? Was she going to throw away a long rewarding relationship with Daniel for what had amounted to a couple of quick gropings? She admitted that she and Jack apparently had some unresolved issues, but was that worth throwing everything away for? And what about the team? It wouldn't be worth it.

"No," she admitted quietly. "It's not what I want."

"Then why'd you do it?" Daniel asked, turning away from the refrigerator to search her face.

"The same as you?" she asked, trying to will Daniel understanding through her eyes. "Daniel, neither of us were ourselves they stamped hard over all our memories."

Daniel was quiet for a bit. "I guess the point I'm trying to get across, Sam, is that deep down we were still us, with all the same personalities and needs and desires. The mindstamp couldn't totally change that."

"But why do I feel you're putting all the blame about this on me, Daniel?" Sam asked. "How do you think I feel, finding out that a little bit of forgetfulness was all it would take for you to be with another woman?"

Daniel reddened. "I'm not that easy. I mean… it's not that easy."

"It isn't?" Sam asked.

"Okay, then, look at it from my point of view - how do you think I feel, knowing that the woman I look up to, one of the most moral and honor-bound people I know, who says she loves me, just… I mean… that she must… must have some serious feelings for a good friend of both of ours? And that a little bit of forgetfulness, as you say, was enough for her to just throw away a year-long relationship and an even longer friendship?" Daniel asked bitterly.

"You feel like crap," Sam responded. "I know. I KNOW! So how do you fix something like that?" she asked angrily. "Because I sure as hell don't know how to. I've never been in this kind of situation." She paused. "And I hope to hell I never am again."

Daniel looked sheepishly away. "I know, Sam. I don't ever want to again, either." He looked deep into her eyes. "All I can say to you is that I'm sorry. I really am."

"I am, too," Sam said. "Do you understand that, Daniel? Only I can't go back and undo what happened there."

Daniel nodded. He paused, contemplating his next words. "Sam… do you love Jack?" He turned away and mashed the other glass into the ice crusher compartment.

Sam's eyes widened as she waited for the crusher to stop. She didn't even have to think about that one. "No, I don't."

"But why then?" Daniel asked quietly. "I know I'm beating this dead horse into the ground, but I need to know. Do you understand?"

Sam did know. They'd never talked about her relationship with Jack. Don't mention, don't tell. She wasn't even sure that Daniel had picked up on any of the undercurrents that had flowed between her and Jack before she and Daniel had started to date seriously. She swallowed hard, trying to think of how to explain this to Daniel. "When I first came to the SGC, there was… this… mutual attraction. It was pretty low-key for the most part." She shook her head. "But I never acted on it, Daniel. Neither did Jack."

"Never?" Daniel asked.

"Never."

"And you never wondered what could have been?" Daniel asked.

"There might have been a time or two," Sam admitted after a moment, "but like I said - we just never talked about it. It wasn't going to go anywhere." She snorted. "How could it have - with the regs and everything else?" The barest hint of a smile crept over her face. "And anyway - then we happened."

A tentative smile brightened Daniel's expression. "We did, didn't we?"

Sam's smile widened. "And I never looked back."

"Is there still something to look forward to?" Daniel asked.

Sam nodded in response. "Do you think so?" she asked, turning the question back to him.

Daniel blushed. "I still love you, Sam. That'll never change."

"I know."

"You do?"

"I know you pretty well by now, Daniel Jackson," Sam said, giving her best Teal'c impression. "You wouldn't have been here arguing with me if you didn't."

Daniel laughed. "I don't know if I like you knowing me THAT well…"

"You'll get use to it," Sam said, grinning.

"Juice?" Daniel asked, holding up the ice-filled glass.

Sam shook her head. "Water'll be just fine."

-----------------

Daniel watched as Sam continued on with her presentation to the SG team commanders assembled in the briefing room. Jack was noticeably absent from the briefing; he said he knew more than he needed to know about the time loop. Daniel lost track of what she was saying, enjoying his view of her from the middle of the table. She was fully engrossed in her subject and was animatedly explaining about how they'd stopped the loop and how they planned to prevent something similar from happening in the future.

"Care to share what you and Jackson were doing during all those loops?" Colonel Dave Dixon quipped from behind Daniel as Sam stopped to take a sip of water.

Sam swallowed and laughed, her eyes sparkling as she shook her head at his question. "Uh-uh, Colonel. I'll never tell…"

Daniel felt Dixon nudge hard the back of his chair. "How 'bout you, Jackson?" Dixon asked.

"You can only dream about it, Dixon," Daniel called over his shoulder. He tilted his head back, and a smile crossed his own face. If only he and Sam had been off-base during all of those ten-hour loops. And could remember it. Now that would have been something… three straight months of… his smile grew wider… of Sam.

Dixon guffawed. "Riiiiiiiiight."

Sam smiled. "Okay, now as I was saying…."

Daniel zoned back out. He hadn't really needed to be present either - he just wanted to be here to be with Sam. He wondered what he would have done with the knowledge that Teal'c and Jack had that they were in a never-ending loop. Daniel did a quick calculation. One hundred eighty loops. It was almost like half a year had passed. Little wonder that Jack and Teal'c could now read and speak Latin and one of the variations of Ancient that he'd taught them both.

Would he have been so noble as they had been however? He doubted it. He watched as Sam gave a low laugh again and he felt his body warm. Noble, no way. Not for a while at least.

As the briefing ended, Daniel watched the commanders file past Sam, nodding and thanking her for the presentation. Dixon filed out last, aiming a knowing grin at her and Daniel, and then Daniel got up from the briefing table and made a big show of stretching.

Sam gathered up the extra reports and turned to Daniel as he came up beside her.

"You didn't have to come," she said.

"I know. I just wanted to," he said, resisting the urge to reach out and touch her.

Sam turned back around to turn off the projection system and giggled. "I know."

"How?" he asked.

Sam turned back to him, a smirk on her face. "THAT look, Daniel. You had it on your face for most of the briefing."

The blood drained from Daniel's face. "I thought I was listening just fine."

Sam gave him a look tinged with amusement. "You were listening alright. Good thing everybody was facing me and not you, Dr. Jackson."

Daniel stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked sheepishly at the floor.

Sam came up and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "But thanks for coming." She turned to look at him before she left room. "Tonight? Your place?"

Daniel nodded and watched as Sam strode out of the room.

Moving his fingers around in his pocket, he came in contact with a smooth, warm surface. He smiled as he pushed the end of his index finger through the center of the ring he'd been carrying around with him for the past week. Tonight. He didn't want to wait any longer or he'd never do this.

He turned toward Hammond's office to let him know why he wouldn't be able to attend his afternoon conference with him.

-----------------

As Sam stepped through Daniel's door, her breath was sucked out of her. This apparently wasn't going to be a popcorn and History Channel evening. He had something romantic planned - the lights had been turned down to their lowest setting, and he had candles lit everywhere. A few looked suspiciously like they were out of Teal'c's quarters…

"For you, Sam," Daniel said, picking up a bouquet of red roses off the small table next to the door and offering them to her. A slim, unopened yellow bud had been inserted in the middle of the bunch. He saw her looking at the yellow rose and smiled. "For my lover who's also my best friend…"

Sam lifted the bouquet to her face and inhaled. They smelled like sweetness and light. She watched as Daniel put her coat away. A smooth jazz station played softly in the background, and she smelled something wonderful and spicy cooking on the stove.

He hadn't done this since they'd gotten back from P3R-118, when he'd prepared an elaborate meal after they'd made up, trying erase any perceived slights and hurts from the tangled mess of what had happened beneath the surface of that planet. Sam wondered if he was trying to make up for this afternoon when he'd crashed her briefing. She looked around and sighed. Honestly, she didn't care, she was just going to let go, relax, and what would happen, would happen. If anything, she'd learned that from Daniel during their time together.

-----------------

Daniel watched as Sam struggled to use chopsticks to pick up a clump of rice. Finally getting it situated between the wooden sticks, she aimed for her mouth, snorting when the clump split in two and fell back onto the plate. She stabbed the clump mercilessly, watching as the rice fell apart.

"Damn sticks," Sam muttered.

Daniel pushed his pillow away from the coffee table to get a fork for her. At least she'd tried; he gave her that. She was nearly always game for anything.

"Thanks," Sam called out after him from the floor.

As he pulled a clean fork from the dishwasher, he wondered how to segue into the next part of the evening that he had planned. He opened the refrigerator door, pulling out the plate of sliced oranges to take some of the chill off of them. He looked back over at Sam who was sipping slowly on the wine he'd poured earlier for her and looking around at the candles Teal'c had sent home with him.

He stood there mesmerized by the glints of light flickering off the wine glass and Sam's hair. Sam made him feel whole again; as alive and purposeful as he'd felt when he'd been with Sha're. He'd been blessed to have another chance at a relationship with another woman who understood who he was and loved him in spite of it. He was doubly blessed when he thought about it. Any other woman, especially outside of the SGC, and he would have had to have kept a large part of who he was walled up inside of him. He wasn't so sure he could have dammed up so much of who he was; he'd have been perpetually ready to burst. Now he wouldn't have to worry about that.

Hopefully. He patted his pocket to make sure the ring was still there. He hoped that offering her the most serious of commitments that he could make was the right move. He didn't want to ruin the relationship they had if Sam wasn't ready to fully commit herself.

Sam laughed, and he realized she was watching him.

"The fork, Daniel?"

"Uh, right," he said, lifting the fork up to show her and returning back to the table.

-----------------

After the dirty dishes had been put in the sink, he moved the pillows up next to the base of the couch, and Sam settled down onto them. Daniel left and brought back the plate of oranges and set it down next to her. As Sam reached out to take a piece, he caught her hand. "No, let me," he said.

"Why? Don't trust me with things that squirt?" Sam asked, puckering her mouth up and trying to look a little hurt.

"Patience, grasshopper…" Daniel said, picking up a section and slowly separating the orange rind from the flesh.

Sam laughed. "Your favorite line."

"For my favorite impatient friend," Daniel said, carefully feeding the orange to her.

Sam watched him as he cupped his hand gently around her chin as orange juice dribbled down it. He bent forward to kiss off the rest of the wetness.

After the second slice, Sam balked. "Me," she said, reaching for the oranges.

Daniel shook his head, sliding the plate away from her with his foot.

"You can't expect me to sit here and do nothing," Sam said, her hands covering his. "I'm loving this, believe me, but come on… let me do for you for a while."

Daniel shook his head. "Not yet."

Sam looked at him quizzically.

"Patience."

Sam sighed in exasperation. "Sooooo not having it right now, Danny." She released his hands.

Daniel reached for the damp towel he'd brought out with him, trying to remove the sticky orange residue from his hands. Okay, he'd have to scratch some things off the agenda. He actually was getting impatient himself.

He pushed the plate far away and pulled a thin, flat pillow toward him. "Sam," he said, moving onto his knees on the pillow. He noticed she'd turned to her side, straightening up and leaning against the couch as she picked up on his changed mood.

"Samantha Carter…" he said taking her free hand gently into his.

He smiled as he noticed her eyes widening. "Sam, I want you to know that… whatever tomorrow brings, I want to be there, next to you and sharing it with you."

Sam swallowed hard, blanching as she realized where he was going with this. "Don't we already?" she asked, barely audible.

"Yes, but…." Daniel searched her face slowly. "Sam, you already know I love you," Daniel said, slowly massaging her hand.

Sam nodded.

"I just want to… I just want to take it a step further." He paused, the words that usually came so easily escaping him for once. "Sam, will you allow me to share myself, my life, my faults… my joys with you?" he asked, bending his head down, his forehead furrowed deeply as he steeled himself for rejection.

He waited a few moments for her response and looked up after she didn't answer him. Sam's eyes were glistening with tears, and she'd brought the back of her free hand over to cover her mouth. She'd looked away and he couldn't tell what she was thinking or what she was feeling. All he knew was that he needed her.

"Sam, will you marry me?" he whispered. He pulled the ring out of his pocket and offered it to her.

Sam blinked and several tears slid down her cheeks. She hadn't expected this. She'd hoped they would go on forever just like they had been. Unrealistic, she knew, but she had worried about what changes in their relationship would bring.

She looked deep into Daniel's eyes, their blueness nearly black in the low light. He looked so worried. So sad. So anxious. So full of concern and love for her that she didn't know what to do. Oh God, was she worthy of all this? He knew her track record with men…

She took his hand in hers. She didn't want to hurt this beautiful, gentle man. Oh God, let this be the one, she prayed. Daniel had been her longest and most mature of adult relationships. She didn't want to mess this one up. She sniffed hard and cleared her throat, not trusting her voice.

"Yes, Daniel," she said through her tears.

Daniel looked surprised, then elated. He reached forward, his hand sliding along her cheek, his lips gently searching for hers. "I love you, Sam…"

Sam looked deep into his eyes. "I know, Daniel. I love you too…"

-----------------

Jacob frowned.

"I know it's after the fact," Daniel told him. "But I didn't know when you'd be back again, and I couldn't wait."

Jacob arched a brow.

Daniel shifted uncomfortably under Jacob's gaze. "I mean I didn't want to wait."

Jacob's expression softened. "It's okay, Daniel. My daughter is a big girl, she makes her own decisions."

Daniel frowned. "But I wanted to…"

Jacob shook his head. "Look, I appreciate the sentiment. Really."

"Really?" Daniel asked.

Jacob nodded. "Really." He gave Daniel a direct stare. "You just take good care of her and treat her well, you hear?"

Daniel gulped and nodded. "Yes, sir."

Jacob laughed and took Daniel's hand, giving it a hearty shake. "Congratulations, son," he said.

Daniel blushed. "Thanks… Dad?"

Jacob laughed and pulled Daniel in for a warm hug. "Sure, Daniel, sure," he said, patting his uncertain son-in-law-to-be on the back.

-----------------

"Sam." Jacob came up behind Sam and gave her shoulders a warm squeeze.

"Dad," she said, turning to give him a quick peck on the cheek in return.

"Just had an interesting conversation with Daniel," Jacob said.

"Oh?" Sam said, focusing back on her computer to finish the logout sequence to the program she was writing.

"Yes," Jacob said, easing onto a nearby stool. "He just asked for permission to take your hand in marriage."

Sam grinned. "He did, did he?"

Jacob nodded. "That's a very earnest young suitor you have there, Sam," he said.

Sam laughed. "He is, isn't he?"

Jacob gave his only daughter an assessing look. "Does he make you happy, Sam?"

Sam was startled. Prior to hosting the Tok'ra symbiote, Sel'mak, she and her father would have never had this kind of conversation and even now it wasn't something she was entirely comfortable with, especially not with Sel'mak observing everything. She nodded. "He does, Dad. Very much so."

Jacob squinted at her. "And he treats you well?"

She nodded again. Her father hadn't been too keen on her impending marriage to Jonas Hanson years ago, letting Jonas know quite clearly from his demeanor that he found the man lacking as a potential son-in-law. She smiled. "Like I'm a precious metal or something," she answered. She looked down at the ground. "I've never had a man treat me so well," she admitted.

Jacob took his daughter's hands in his. "Sam, you deserve this."

Sam blushed. "Oh, I don't know, Dad."

"Well, I do," Jacob said with certainty. "And I'd be honored to have Daniel as a son-in-law," he told her. "Just don't tell him I said that," he added, laughing.

Sam chuckled. "Okay, Dad."

-----------------

"A wedding?" Jack asked. "Will there be cake?"

Sam smiled. "Of course. Lots."

"Good." Jack smiled. "Can't be best man without lots of cake." He stopped. "Location?"

"Warm and tropical."

"I'm soooo there," Jack grinned. "Just tell me when."

"This weekend."

Jack's eyebrows shot up. "Isn't that a bit quick?"

"You know how things are around here," Sam said, a dimple dancing in her cheek. "Seize the moment while you can."

Jack glanced down at his legs. "I need to get a tan, to pack, to…"

Sam laughed. "You'll be fine. Gateroom. Friday evening. Eighteen hundred hours. Pack light."

Jack tilted his head. "Off-planet?"

Sam grinned. "Remember that one planet? Those beaches that stretched on for…"

Jack's look turned wistful. "Do I ever…"

Sam stared at him.

Realization hit Jack slowly. "Oh…" He grinned. "Let me go pack then." He stood up from the table uncertain what to do next. He bent forward to hug her and stopped. "Congratulations, Sam," he said, tapping the desk before turning to leave.

-----------------

"Some honeymoon," Daniel whined as he trudged behind Jack.

"Hey, Jackson, when duty calls, y'gotta answer it…"

"But we were just starting our honeymoon," Daniel protested.

Jack mimicked Daniel, and then shook his head. "Shit happens," he shrugged.

Teal'c grinned. "I am certain that what needed to be accomplished during your honeymoon was successfully accomplished," he said with an arch of his brow.

Jack raised his hand in Teal'c's direction. "You see… even Teal'c agrees with me on this one."

"I did not state that, O'Neill."

"Oh, sure you did, Big Guy," Jack said.

Teal'c shook his head. "No, I did not."

"Awww, c'mon, Teal'c. You did."

"I most certainly did not…"

Daniel left the two to bicker and dropped back to walk with Sam. She was scanning the area, her finger on the edge of the trigger of her P-90, ready to mow down anyone who dared attack them. Her hands were free of rings. In fact neither wore their wedding bands. Sam had insisted on simple bands. Daniel had had them engraved with a simple message - My lover, my friend, I honor the greatness of you, forever. Written in Ancient, of course. He grinned as he remembered the jeweler shaking his head in disbelief at the intricate characters Daniel had expected him to make.

Sam gave Daniel a wan smile as she scanned behind him. She was still all business when it came down to the SGC, but that was fine with him. He'd learned well from her how to separate business and pleasure. Besides he wanted her wicked sense of humor and wildness all to himself, when they were away from the SGC.

-----------------

Sam stood with Teal'c and Jack, ready to leave for their mission if Daniel would just show up. He had left the house long before she had even gotten up - saying that he had to stop at his apartment to get a few things that he needed for that day's mission. He'd seemed eager to gate back to the castle with the light he could only describe as "simply amazing." Sam tapped her gun impatiently. Where the heck was he?

"What's the delay?" General Hammond asked the congregated members of SG-1.

"Daniel hasn't reported in this morning, Sir," Jack explained, stopping the agitated tapping he'd been doing on his own gun.

Hammond tilted his head. "Yesterday he was demanding to leave immediately," he said.

Sam sighed. "I know. He left early this morning. Said he needed to pick something up at his place for today," she explained. She was worried about him. Daniel could be easily distracted at times, but given his desire to get back to see the light, she thought he would have been sitting in front of the gate hours ago.

Jack arched a brow. "Jackson hasn't given his place up yet?"

Sam shrugged. "We're having some disagreements about where to put all his stuff."

Jack gave her a knowing nod, then looked at Hammond. "Mission still on, Sir?"

Hammond frowned. "Dr. Jackson is two hours late," he said. "Given the situation SG-12 is in on P9R-866, I'm going to have to scrub your mission from today's roster." He looked at Sam and Jack. "You both find the good doctor and get him here on time tomorrow and you'll be first out at oh-eight-hundred."

Sam nodded and followed her teammates back to the locker room to get rid of their mission gear.

-----------------

Sam readied the key to Daniel's old apartment as she and Jack approached the door. Jack shook his head, noticing the door hadn't been completely closed. He allowed Sam to enter first and cautiously entered the apartment after her.

"Daniel?" Sam called out. A whistling kettle screeched in the kitchen. She walked over to take it off the stove while Jack picked up the beeping telephone receiver nearby and placed it back in its cradle. They both looked at each other.

"Something's not right," Jack commented.

"I know."

They both looked at the open balcony door and back at each other. Sam rushed over to it. As she looked out the door, her breath caught. Daniel was out on the edge of balcony, on the outer side of the railing. She gulped as she watched him lean forward, his grip loosening.

She moved slowly into the open doorway. "Daniel, what are you doing?"

"None of it means anything," he said, not turning to face her.

"Um, Daniel… why don't you come inside here?" Jack said from beside Sam.

"I tried. It just goes away," Daniel said.

"Okay, then we'll get it back," Jack said.

"You can't get it back," Daniel said.

"Whatever's wrong… we'll fix it, Daniel," Sam said, easing out the door.

Daniel shook his head, bowing his head. "You don't even know what I'm talking about."

"No," Sam admitted. "No, I don't. Come inside, Daniel. You can tell me what it's all about inside, okay? You know how I am about heights," she lied.

Daniel shook for a moment as her lie cut through the fog in his mind, and Sam leapt forward to grab his arm. "Sam?" he asked, looking at her.

"I'm here, Daniel. I'm here."

Confused, Daniel looked around the open balcony and down at the ground far beneath him. He pulled forward. Jack grabbed his other arm and held him there. "No, Daniel, it's okay. Don't move."

"Jack? Sam? Why am I here?" he asked, looking back and forth between his wife and his friend.

Sam rubbed his shoulder. "I don't know, Daniel. We'll get you back to base and find out, okay?"

Daniel leaned forward again.

"No, Daniel," Jack said quietly, but firmly. "Here this way… Slowly…" He gently guided Daniel back around to face him and Sam. Daniel fell into Sam's arms as Jack helped pull him over the railing.

"Oh, Sam!" Daniel said, burying his face in her shoulder.

-----------------

"Jack, I have some bad news. All of SG-5 are dead," Hammond's voice cackled through the MALP's audio/video interface. His solemn look was all Jack needed to see. Jack turned away and winced.

Sam's eyes widened. "What about Daniel?"

SG-1 crowded around the small monitor to watch as Hammond shook his head. "Dr. Fraiser's doing everything she can, but I'm afraid he's fallen into a deep coma. We don't know how much time he has left," he admitted.

"Sir," Sam said starting toward the DHD.

"No, Carter," Jack said.

"Sir!" Sam said.

Jack shook his head. He knew how much she wanted to be back with her husband of only a few months, but he needed her here, working on the problem that had started all of this mess in the first place. "I need you here, Carter. I'll go back and make sure he gets what he needs." He looked at his second-in-command who looked ready to bolt. "He'll be fine, Sam, trust me."

-----------------

Jack left non-responsive Daniel on the floor in the palace gate room and stormed into the light room after Teal'c and Sam failed to respond to his hails for help. He shook his head; they both stood mesmerized by the multicolored lights. Jack tore his own eyes away from the light and grabbed Sam, shaking her. "For God's sake, Carter! Carter, wake up!"

Sam blinked and flinched. "You're back, Sir! When?"

"Teal'c?" Jack asked looking at him. "Teal'c, come on. Yeah, come on out of here right now, both of you." Jack said, easing toward the door, avoiding looking at the enticing light show behind his team.

Once outside the room, Sam rushed over to the gate platform, where a pale, bedraggled Daniel sat hunched over his knees. "Daniel!" she said, touching his hair, his face, his arms.

"Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said nodding.

Jack sat down on the platform near Sam who had sat next to Daniel, gently rubbing his back. "Had to bring him back," Jack said. "It was the only thing that was going to keep him alive," he explained.

"Thank you, Sir," Sam said, giving Jack a grateful look and giving Daniel's hand a tight squeeze.

-----------------

Jack walked back into the Light room to find his team on their knees around the base of the machine. "What've you got?" he asked.

"We think we can turn it off," Daniel said without turning around.

"Don't let them," the youth, Loran, said to Jack. "You'll die like my parents."

Sam looked at the young man. "If we shut it off cold turkey, Loran is right – we'll go into withdrawal again. But Teal'c and Daniel have translated some of the writing inside this thing, Sir, and we think it was designed to be turned down incrementally."

Daniel nodded at his wife. "The Goa'uld who used this place needed human slaves in order to tend to their needs while they were here."

Sam returned the nod and looked at Jack. "We've already taken it down a notch without any harm."

"Within two or three weeks your brain chemistry will return to normal," Teal'c explained. "You may then return home."

Jack's eyes widened, then he grinned. "Three weeks in a palace by the beach?" He watched as Sam finished putting her tools away for the day. "Teal'c, you don't have to hang around. Why don't you go back and let Hammond know what's going on? Bring back some more supplies. And not all MRE's please."

Teal'c dipped his head in assent. "Very well."

Jack turned back to Sam who was giving Daniel an intense stare. She cleared her throat and nodded toward the south hall. Daniel blushed. "You're dismissed," he called out after them, chuckling as he watched the two disappeared down the corridor.

Loran looked at him. "Aren't they going to stay here with us?"

"They need some alone time," Jack explained, putting his arm around the young man's shoulder. Jackson would have nothing to complain about now - three weeks - they'd have plenty of time to honeymoon.

"I do not understand," the boy said.

"You will when you're older," Jack said, steering the bewildered young man toward the compound's entrance. "Now show me where the best fishing is."

"Fishing?" Loran asked, still confused.

Jack shook his head. "No matter, we have plenty of time to learn the fine art of fishing…"

-----------------

Sam looked down at the dark brown soil and the lighter brown short spikes of Daniel's hair that stuck up out of the hole he was crouched down in. Daniel rubbed his forearm over his forehead before he reached back down to uncover the last of the buried tablets.

Sam looked away at the countryside surrounding them. She was itching to be out there, on the move, checking out everything else the planet had to offer. She appreciated that Jack had thought the two of them would enjoy some time alone here at the ruins on such a quiet mission, but Sam would have rather been out there with him and Teal'c on recon, walking, exploring… doing something!

She gave Daniel a warm smile as he lifted his head to give her a breathless and boyish grin. He heaved the stone tablet onto the ground near her. Yesterday she'd spent the day helping him dig down beneath a small stone obelisk that the villagers had directed him to. Legend had it that the Goa'uld had tried to conquer this planet, but had been unsuccessful. After hearing those legends, Daniel had been certain there was more to the villager's success and had followed them to the obelisk. And, thanks to Jack, she'd come here with him.

The dig yesterday had kept her occupied as had the interesting evening they'd spent in the guest quarters of one of the wealthier villagers, but today all she'd really done was to sit here on the fallen stone walls near Daniel, guarding him, if you wanted to call it that, and talking when he felt like it.

Not exactly her idea of an exciting day at the office. She eyed her weapon. She could tear it apart and clean it; she was reasonably certain nothing was going to happen to them while she was doing it. But then again… She sighed.

Daniel swiped at the clumps of dirt clinging to the last tablet. "This is unbelievable," he said, running the tips of his fingers along the face of the tablet.

Oh yeah, sure it is, Sam thought.

Daniel stood slowly and stretched. He squinted into the bright sunlight shed by the system's two suns. "You're not bored, are you?" he asked.

"Of course not," Sam said, flicking at a large gnat-like insect flying around her head.

Daniel sat down next to Sam, taking a long drink from his canteen. He turned to squint at Sam. "I know you'd rather be out there."

Sam didn't answer, smoothing her hair and adjusting her cap. She'd do as she was ordered by her commanding officer, that's just how things were.

Daniel leaned closer to her, his eyes focusing on her mouth. "I appreciate it, Sam. You know I don't get to do this that much anymore."

"I know," she said. She did. With the missions coming more quickly and with their growing role as 'the' first contact and recon only team, none of them had much time to do the follow-up type of things they really wanted to do. She was surprised Hammond had allowed them go out on this one at all, but Daniel had managed to convince him that important information was to be found here and that he and SG-1 should be the team to go retrieve it.

She looked at the tablets piled around his feet. He had found something and that was great. She squinted down at the engravings on them. She just hoped the writing that looked like chicken scratch to her led them somewhere.

Daniel gave her a quick kiss before he stood back up. "There's a nice cool spring we could take a dip in on the way back, Mrs. Jackson…"

Sam shook her head. "No thanks."

Daniel frowned. "You're mad at me?"

Sam eyed the tablets again. "How're you going to get all of those back to the village in one trip?"

"You're all business…" Daniel commented unhappily.

"All the time," Sam said, reaching into Daniel's backpack for a sturdy carryall. Somehow they could rig it to drag all of the tablets back, but it'd take a while to do it.

Daniel frowned. "But, Sam, can't you enjoy it for once? With that mission Jack said Hammond's probably going to give us next week, can't you just enjoy this one for once?"

Sam was tempted. Very tempted. She shook her head. At home, off-duty, fine. Here, no. She didn't answer him, instead dropping onto her knees to test how many stones slabs she could fit in the bag.

Daniel shut his eyes and sighed.

-----------------

The isolation room was quiet except for the steady beeps of the monitors and the humming of the machines that were keeping Sam alive. Correction, Daniel thought morosely, keeping Sam's body alive.

Daniel roughly rubbed his eyes, his glasses safely tucked away on top of the primary monitor. Sam could NOT be taken away from him this soon. It wasn't fair! They had barely been married but a few months! Was this his track record? Marry a woman and within a year or less - she's gone?!

He was angry with Jack, although he knew he had no right to be – Jack was already agonizing over what he had done. But then Jack had refused to do it Daniel's way. No… instead Jack had gone out of his way to piss off the Entity that had possessed Sam. The Entity had flown out of bed and down the hallway where it had tried to return back to the mainframe computer.

After Jack zatted Sam, Daniel had flown past him to cradle his wife in his arms. Jack had dropped his zat to the ground and had just stood there with an anguished look on his face as he realized what he'd done. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" he'd apologized as a gurney had been wheeled quickly to her.

Daniel was angry at everyone. Angry at the Entity that had used Sam as a pawn in its quest to stay alive. Angry that it had used both her and him to gain access to Sam's brain for more room to grow and expand. Mad at the SGC for the peril that they were in. Mad that Janet couldn't find a way to bring his wife back. Mad at himself and the helplessness he felt at being unable to do a damn thing to help bring conscious life back to the woman he couldn't live without.

Daniel squeezed his eyes shut. He'd be living without her now. Janet had already been hinting that her opinion was that it wasn't good for Sam to remain on life support for long.

"Hey, Daniel." He felt a warm hand firmly grip his shoulder. "Need a break?" Jack asked.

"No… I'm fine," Daniel answered.

Jack snorted softly in disagreement. "At least get up and stretch your legs for a minute," he admonished his younger friend. "Go grab something to eat. Use the bathroom."

Daniel looked down at Jack's hand resting on his shoulder and back over to Sam. "Janet brought me a sandwich. Teal'c relieved me an hour ago. I'm fine, Jack."

Jack opened his mouth and shut it. He peered into the meal tray. "Mind if I take the apple?" he asked.

Daniel shook his head. "Take whatever you want; I'm not very hungry."

Jack eyed the half-eaten sandwich. "You need to eat more than that, Daniel."

Daniel bristled. "Just lay off me, Jack," he said. "I'm FINE, okay?"

Jack lifted his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay." He pushed the apple into his pocket and approached Sam's bed. "No change?" he asked Daniel.

Daniel looked at his immobile wife with a deep longing for what was no longer there. "No."

Jack traced the edge of the bed with his fingertips. "Janet talked to you this morning?" he asked quietly.

Daniel nodded, squinting as he felt his eyes fill with tears.

Jack heaved a deep breath. "So you know about Sam's living will?" he asked.

"Yes," Daniel responded. Not long after their honeymoon that hadn't been, Janet had approached them both to see if they were changing the medical directives that they'd already had on file. Both had left them as they were.

"And?" Jack asked, tapping his fingers gingerly on the mattress.

"Not yet," Daniel answered.

"Why?"

"Not yet, Jack," Daniel said more emphatically.

"You can't keep her body alive forever," Jack said, shaking his head.

Daniel glared at Jack. If he felt like it, he damn well would. He felt like a little kid - wherever Jack was pushing, he felt the need to push back twice as hard in the opposite direction. He turned away from Jack to face Sam, wishing Jack would just leave him alone.

"You can't," Jack said, sounding harder than he'd intended. "It's not fair to Sam."

Daniel turned around angrily. "Who are you to determine what's fair or not for her?" Daniel demanded.

"Her friend."

"Yeah, well, so am I," Daniel said sharply. "And her lover and her husband. I think I should know what she would want by now." Daniel was surprised by his loudness.

Jack looked remorseful. "Look, Daniel, I only want what's best for her, okay?"

Daniel didn't answer, his expression equal parts fury and sadness.

Jack gave Sam a lingering glance and nodded at Daniel before departing the isolation room.

Daniel pulled a low stool up close to Sam's bedside and buried his face in his hands. He was so damn tired of everyone telling him what to do, what to feel, what to think… He just wanted his Sam back. He wanted to hear her laugh, he wanted to see her bright smile, he wanted to feel the heat of her passion in debate, he wanted… he wanted her back. No questions asked. Just give me back the woman I love, he thought miserably.

-----------------

Out in the corridor Jack roughly stuffed his hands in his pockets as he waited for the elevator. He shut his eyes as he pictured Daniel perched on the stool near Sam's bed, looking more lost than he'd ever looked in the time Jack had known him. And then Jack remembered his role in putting Sam into that bed. Jack shook his head; he was getting too old for this. He hadn't signed up for gut-wrenching emotional situations every week. Maybe it was time to think about moving on.

-----------------

Daniel tried reaching out to Sam mentally. Nothing. No warmth. No positive vibes. Nothing. He felt like he'd lost her forever. He rubbed at his bloodshot eyes again. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her - the second woman in his life that he had truly loved. It was little consolation that he'd been able to spend more time with her than he ever had with Sha're; he wanted Sam in the here and now. He wanted the comfort of knowing he had a future with her.

Daniel flinched as Hammond's voice boomed over the loudspeaker. "SG-1 to the MALP room."

He reached over to kiss Sam's cheek and raced back to the MALP room. He found the rest of the team milling around in the small room. Siler was rigging up explosives to the Entity's web of electronics in the corner of the room, and a frowning Hammond was standing nearby.

"All right," Jack said, "let's blow it."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!" Daniel said. He pointed at the computer monitor in the middle of the Entity's lair. "Look at this!" The screen had begun to scroll the phrase "I am here."

"The Entity," Teal'c observed.

Daniel shook his head. "No! It said it couldn't go back. It's Sam!"

"Daniel," Jack scoffed, "I shot her twice."

"AFTER it transferred Sam's consciousness out of her body," Daniel deduced. "You killed the Entity after it put Sam into this thing. She's in here!"

Jack shook his head. "Why? Why would it do that?"

"Because you demanded it!" Daniel told him. "You threatened to send an army of probes through to its homeworld. Saving Sam and allowing itself to be killed was the only way to preserve its homeworld."

-----------------

He'd watched with a mix of happy anticipation and worried dread as Janet had finished connecting Sam up to the machine. Horrified it wasn't working, he watched as Sam jerked uncontrollably as her consciousness was transferred back to her. Daniel wanted so badly to hold her and keep her from hurting herself, but Janet and the others were blocking his access to her.

The computer screen finally went blank and then Janet unhooked Sam from the electronics surrounding her. After a tense moment, Sam started breathing on her own.

"She's back," Janet said, watching the EEG machine suddenly become active.

Teal'c lowered his zat, and Daniel pushed the others out of the way to lean over to hug his wife. She was back. He couldn't believe she was back. He gently kissed her and smoothed her hair back. The relief he felt was indescribable.

"Hey, Carter, where you been?" Jack asked her from behind Daniel.

"It's gone?" she asked, looking around the MALP room.

"Yes, it is," Hammond said.

"I was shouting out for you to hear," Sam said as Daniel straightened up and squeezed her hand.

"We heard, Sam, we heard you," Daniel said.

-----------------

Daniel watched as Sam slept beside him. He reached out and pulled the blanket up over her shoulder as she shivered. After nearly losing her to that damn Entity, he didn't want to let her out of his sight. He wanted to protect her, although he knew he could do little to physically protect the amazing woman beside him. With Sha're, he'd been able to protect his Abydonian wife - physically, emotionally, in every way.

With Sam it had been different, very different. He'd had an instant connection with her, but it hadn't been in the lustful head over heels way he'd had with Sha're. This love for Sam had snuck up on him. He had denied it for a good long time, too. What would a competent soldier, a scientific genius, and an accomplished Air Force officer see in him? He grinned. And who'd have thought he'd have been attracted to someone like her?

He sobered up. Someone like her. He thought about that. Of all the women he'd ever met, she was the only one who he hadn't easily stereotyped. Sure, she was an officer in the Air Force. Sure, she was the most brilliant astrophysicist that he knew, but she was so much more. So much more. He thought of the gentle compassion she brought to her job; it had tempered the gruff ways of Jack. He thought about how she'd looked this morning when he gotten up to leave, Sam still on a week-long enforced bed-rest. He'd tried to pull away so he wouldn't be late, but she'd refused to allow him to leave until she'd given him something to think about while he was at work. He grinned. It'd take a while to forget that something.

He leaned over and kissed the tip of her nose. She was some kind of woman and he felt honored that she'd decided to share her life with him.

-----------------

Sam felt like puking. The thought of her best friend, her best lover, her only husband for God's sake, dying and leaving her here, alone… The nausea sent her reeling against the side of the bed, and she felt the bile shoot up her throat. She wasn't going to be able to make it to the bathroom. Turning quickly, she found the hazardous materials container and heaved.

She couldn't believe it. Daniel was dying, and there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing Janet could do about it. Nothing any of the radiation poisoning specialists that had been contacted throughout the Earth and Gate networks could do about it; not at the level he'd been exposed at. Damn Daniel and his selfless nature. Damn those Kelownans.

Sam wiped off her mouth, her face twisting up again as another quiet cry tore through her. She looked at Daniel's worn body, swathed in gauze bandages. All she could see was his eyes, the swollen dark red lids having closed permanently the evening before, when he'd drifted free from all lucidity. She was grateful she'd had the opportunity to tell him repeatedly during all of the previous days of how much she loved him, how much she'd be forever grateful for the impact he'd had on her life, how much she would miss him…

-----------------

Jacob Carter entered the room and enveloped her in a tight hug. "Sam, I'm so sorry."

Sam nodded through her tears at him and handed her father the healing device. "I tried this, but it didn't work."

"We'll do our best," he told her, activating the healing device. He held it for a few moments then deactivated it. Sel'mak's flanged voice was heard. "His condition is grave. I do not know if I can save him. And, even if I can, I do not believe I can restore him to a full healthy state."

Sam swallowed. It would work. Her father and Sel'mak would see to it. She wanted Daniel back. "Do what you can," she told him, moving away from the bed, gently touching the tips of her husband's fingers.

-----------------

Sam jumped when she saw Daniel appear beside her. He touched her shoulder, and she was suddenly transported to the gateroom with him. The gateroom, but not the gateroom. The air was too thick with a light, an energy, that Sam couldn't place.

"Daniel?" she called out.

Daniel appeared beside her again. "Sam."

Sam was confused. "What is this, Daniel? What's going on?"

"Tell your father to stop. Please, Sam."

Sam took in Daniel's unmarred appearance. This was the Daniel she loved; unscarred and not in unbearable pain. She wanted so badly to reach out and touch him. To hug him. To give herself to him one more time.

"Sam, I have to go," Daniel said, looking deep into her eyes, aware of what she was thinking. "Please understand."

Sam sniffed to clear her stopped-up nose and looked up into the air, her eyes full of tears. "Understand what?" she asked. "Why, Daniel?"

"Sam, I'm ready to move on."

She wiped at the tears flowing down her cheeks. "You can't just give up like that, Daniel. You never give up."

"I'm not giving up," he told her. "Sam, if I go back what kind of life will I have? Think about it. My condition - it's terminal. I'd be vegetative at best." He came closer and took her hand, pulling her toward him. "And you don't deserve that, Sam."

Sam buried her head in his chest, feeling his hands, those wonderful, magical, gentle hands, rubbing her back and her shoulders. "You don't deserve this either," she said.

Daniel looked over at Oma who waited patiently at the edge of the gate ramp. She gave Daniel a cryptic smile. Sam followed his gaze, noticing the woman in the room for the first time and watching in fascination as her body dissipated and a glowing ball of energy materialized in her place. The tendrils from her being reached out to the gate and an active wormhole appeared in her place.

Daniel turned back to Sam. "You remember Oma?"

Sam nodded.

Tears glinted in Daniel's eyes. "Sam, I know what you think. But I can do more this way. It's what I want… it's what I need now." He stopped, caressing his wife for the last time, trying to burn the experience into his memory. "Everything's going to be fine, Sam."

He lifted her chin and found her lips, giving her a gentle, searching kiss. "I love you, Samantha Carter… Jackson," he said, a smile forming on his lips. "I always have and I always will." He let his hand linger on her face, feeling its form one more time. "Now tell Jacob to stop. Please."

Sam opened her eyes and found herself back in the room. Daniel was back in the hospital bed, still poisoned, still dying. She heard him moan as her father continued to concentrate on healing him. She looked up at the ceiling. God, please give me the strength to do this, she prayed.

She swallowed hard. "Dad."

Her father looked over at her, continuing to hold the device over Daniel's chest.

"Dad. Stop."

"Are you serious, Sam?" Jacob asked.

"It's what he wants," Sam said softly, the tears starting to flow down her cheeks again.

Jacob looked at Janet. "Someone else want to tell me what to do?" he asked.

No one spoke.

"Just let him go," Sam said, choking the words out.

Jacob shook his head, but deactivated the device. Sam watched as Daniel took his last breath and the EKG flatlined.

"Sam?!" Janet said, ready to rush to revive him. Her move was cut short by an intense glow emitting from Daniel's chest. She and the others watched in awe as a ball of blinding white light rose up to the ceiling.

Sam suddenly found herself back in the gate room again. "Thank you." Daniel was standing at the edge of the gate ramp. "I'm going to miss you, Sam. Everyone…"

Sam couldn't speak.

"Thank you, Sam." He looked at her with tears in his eyes as he approached the gate. "For everything."

She found her voice again. "Daniel? Will I see you again?"

Daniel shrugged. "I honestly don't know, Sam."

"Where're you going?"

Daniel blinked and smiled. "I don't know that either." He took one final look at her and stepped through the gate.

-----------------

Sam found Janet in her office; her chair had been turned away from the door. Sam came around the chair to find her friend crying. Sam swallowed hard. The sight of Janet crying was enough to send her into a new round of tears if she allowed it.

"Janet," she said, bending down in front of her petite friend, "I just wanted to thank you for everything you did for Daniel."

Janet leaned forward and hugged Sam. "Oh, Sam. I wish I could have done more."

"You did everything you could, Janet."

Janet's lips trembled. "It should have been more. So much more." She blinked away fresh tears and sniffed. "You know he was a lucky man," she said. "So loved…"

Sam shut her eyes and bent her head down. She knew it.

"Doctor? I'm sorry for interrupting, but you said you wanted these immediately," Janet's head nurse said apologetically as she stepped into her office and laid a stack of lab results on her desk.

Janet smiled at her. "I did. Thank you."

Sam straightened up and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand. "I need to go," she said. She did. So many things needed taken care of before she went to sleep tonight.

"No, wait a minute," Janet said, sniffing hard as she flipped through the pile. "Here's the final results of the bloodwork I ran to make sure you hadn't been exposed to any radiation." She skimmed through the report quickly.

"And?" Sam asked.

Janet dropped the report back to the desk and looked up at Sam, tears in her eyes.

"What, Janet?" Sam asked, worried.

Janet shook her head. "No, no radiation poisoning," she said, giving a bittersweet laugh. "Thank God."

Sam gave her a questioning look.

"Sam, you're pregnant," Janet said, a tear-stained smile slowly filling her face. "You're going to have Daniel's baby."

-----------------

Jack had watched Sam maintain her composure throughout the base memorial service for Daniel, even as it dragged on through the late afternoon as member after member stood up to share their experiences with the friendly archeologist. She had kept that same stoic expression on her face during the drive back to their - her, he corrected himself - house where Teal'c and Janet had planned to meet up with them.

Jack watched Sam closely as she stared out the window into her backyard, lost deep in her thoughts. Jack knew that look. He'd seen the same look on her face years ago when they'd been stuck on that Tok'ra base and she'd found out her father had been near-death. He remembered another time when she'd been distraught over losing Daniel on the water planet, well, they all had due to their warped memories, but he clearly remembered how she'd reacted. And, he realized with a start, when the Dr. Carter from the alternate universe had mourned the loss of her husband in front of him, he'd seem the same anguished look. It'd surprised him to find out he'd been her husband in that universe, but that had been before Sam had hooked up with Daniel, at least he thought it was - he could never keep certain dates straight. Regardless of what it was, Sam had been happy with Daniel and that's what had been important.

Had been, Jack thought, as he watched Sam shut her eyes and press her cheek down deeper into the hand she'd leaned it on. She was physically present, but she wasn't really with them right now, that much Jack knew from experience. He could only imagine how numb she must be feeling. He suppressed the urge to sit down next to her and to comfort her - he wasn't sure how to reach out to her anymore and the last thing he wanted to do was to make her feel uncomfortable. He glanced at Janet who was flipping through Daniel and Sam's photograph albums with Teal'c. He caught her eye and nodded back at Sam.

Carefully moving the album into Teal'c's lap, Janet walked over to the couch and sat down on the edge of it next to Sam. "Sam?" Janet asked, brushing a wisp of Sam's hair away from her eyes. "How're you doing?" she asked softly.

Sam opened her bloodshot eyes and gave Janet a wan smile. "Been better."

Janet slowly rubbed her shoulder. "I know, Sam. I know."

Jack was uncomfortable with the long silence that descended on them. He felt like they should be saying something, anything, to let Sam know they'd all be here for her. He gave Teal'c a quick nod of the head while he circled his index finger around the lip of his beer bottle. "So, Teal'c?" he said.

"So, O'Neill?" Teal'c responded.

"Sooooo?" Jack said, arching an eyebrow.

Teal'c's forehead furrowed for a moment, and then he lifted his head as a thought came to him. "So, do you believe Daniel Jackson to be truly dead?" he asked no one in particular.

Three heads snapped around in Teal'c's direction. Jack winced and shook his head furiously - that wasn't the kind of conversation he had in mind. "Bad move," he mouthed to his Jaffa friend.

"Teal'c!" Janet said reproachfully.

Sam shrugged. "Yes, I guess I do."

"You do not believe in ascension?" Teal'c asked, tilting his head to the side.

Sam shook her head, her eyes becoming bright with tears. "I never knew enough to believe it one way or the other, not the way Daniel believed in it. All I knew was that he felt pretty strongly about there being an afterlife." Sam hesitated, looking like she was at a loss to come up with words, and given his second-in-command's normal verbosity, that alone spoke volumes to Jack. Sam dropped her hands into her lap. "I honestly didn't care. He was alive, with me, and I never thought it would happen, not until he came to me just before he died."

"He what?" Jack asked, focusing in on her words again. What had made Sam leave out that little tidbit from the mission report? Jack had been there when she'd said Daniel had wanted them to let him go peacefully, but he'd assumed Sam was talking as his wife, someone who knew his wishes, not as someone who was talking to the guy at that very minute.

A tear slowly traveled down Sam's cheek. "I saw him. In the gateroom. A woman - Oma - was there with him. He said he didn't know where he was going and he didn't know if he'd ever be back."

"An Ascended assisted him?" Teal'c asked, both eyebrows quickly arching upwards.

Sam shrugged again, wiping her eyes on the back of her hand and sniffling. "I don't know."

"You still think he's dead?" Jack asked pointedly.

Sam stood up, angry tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't know what to think right now. And frankly I don't care!" She turned and stormed out her back door. Teal'c followed her out at a safe distance.

Jack looked at Janet, confused. "What's with Carter?" he asked. He hadn't meant to be hurtful - far from it. It was just that maybe Daniel wasn't… just maybe…

Janet's lips twitched with indecision. "Has Sam talked to you yet?"

"Talked to me about what?" Jack asked. Sam hadn't said barely a word to him since Daniel's… departure.

"I'll take that as a no," Janet said. She looked at Jack. "Normally I would never broach this subject without the patient's consent, but these," she waived her hand at her dress blues to indicate the SGC program, "aren't normal circumstances."

Jack raised his brows expectantly.

Janet swallowed hard with uncertainty. "It may not be safe for her to go out on missions any time soon," she said non-committally.

Jack nodded. "I figured she'd take some bereavement leave."

Janet shook her head. "No, no, not that. It's her physical condition…"

"Then what is it?" Jack snapped. He wanted Janet to cut to the chase. "What is it? Did she pick up some alien virus? Does she have cancer?" He felt snarky. "Impregnated by aliens?"

Janet's eyes widened at his last guess.

Jack blinked several times. "She's pregnant?" he asked.

Janet nodded.

"By aliens?" Jack squeaked, wincing.

Janet found her voice again. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It's Daniel's."

Jack slumped in his chair, throwing his head back and rubbing his hand roughly over his eyes, trying to slow down the onslaught of thoughts racing through his mind. Oh damn, talk about bad timing… Daniel was gone, and Jack really didn't expect him back, not with what little bit he remembered Daniel telling him about Oma.

Jack shook his head again. Daniel was going to be a father and now he'd never know. Fate had sure screwed Jackson over one too many times.

And Sam. Damn. No wonder she was angry. None of them knew what to think or how to react to Daniel's death, and here she had a pregnancy to face alone on top of it. Damn. Jack's grimace tightened. This should have been a happy time for both of them, like the birth of their son had been for him and Sarah. Now Sam had to go it alone, without support from…

Jack's eyes shot open as the implication of Janet's statement finally hit him. He looked out the window to see Teal'c carefully holding Sam as she finally started to let go and to shed her tears. "No gate travel?" he asked, turning back to Janet. "At all?"

Janet's brow wrinkled. "We know so little about how gate travel affects the development of human fetuses," she told him. "We've had an occasional pregnant refugee or Jaffa female come through the gate in emergency situations, but there just hasn't been the opportunity, or the time, to study the long term effects of regular gate travel."

Jack took a swig of his beer. "You know she's not going to go for that," Jack said softly.

Janet nodded. "I know," she responded in the same tone.

"So?" Jack asked. "What're you going to recommend, Doctor?"

Janet sat up straighter in response to Jack's formality. "I'll share the same information with General Hammond and from there I suppose we'll have to play it by ear," Janet said, sighing.

Jack shook his head and downed the rest of his drink.

-----------------

Standing up to rub her aching back, Sam tried to ignore the feeling of pressure deep in her pelvis for a little bit longer. She'd already made her umpteenth bathroom visit, and she wasn't ready to head back there just yet. She eyed her laptop. She was tempted to take it to the bathroom with her and just work from there. That or have them install a portable toilet in her office.

She carefully slipped back down into her chair, propping her feet up on the chair across from her, and tried to focus on the algorithm she'd been playing with to use to break into Ba'al's shielding system. She hadn't gone out in the field with SG-1 in months, but was doing everything she could on this side of the gate to help them during their missions. Even with Janet's loud protests, she'd literally been living on base since Jack disappeared. She shifted uncomfortably as the pressure feeling reminded her that she really had to get back to the bathroom.

"This time I'm staying there," she grumbled as she slowly stood up again. She started to reach for her lap top, but instead grabbed at her abdomen as a deep-seated pain tore through her. She felt an immense pressure push down through her pelvis, much more intense than the earlier feeling. Was she going into labor? No. It was too early. She fumbled for the phone and punched Janet's number.

"Fraiser."

"Janet," Sam said through gritted teeth as another spasm took hold of her, "something's really wrong." She dropped the phone onto the desk, bending over in pain and trying to hold her abdomen up higher in an attempt to make the pain go away. She winced hard as another pain gripped her, this time in her back, and she moaned louder.

"Sam? Sam?!" she heard Janet call through the phone. "Sam, are you in labor?"

Sam lifted her head up to the receiver. "I don't know," she admitted. She slid her back down the side of the desk, coming to a low hunch on the floor. This wasn't supposed to happen now. And not this damn fast; she wasn't ready. Her eyes opened wide as she felt a rush of water between her legs. No! This could not be happening. She wasn't due for at least five more weeks. This wasn't what she'd read it was supposed to be like. "Oh God, Janet! Hurry!"

As she hunched over in pain again, she could hear Janet's voice filtering down from the desktop above her. "Sanchez, Thomas - code blue - Major Carter's office - it's the baby. Airman Jones, please notify General Hammond immediately. Hold on, Sam. We're coming!"

-----------------

Jack jerked his head around angrily. "So, Daniel, you're saying you won't help me get out of here?"

Daniel's head hung down. Jack just didn't want to understand the situation he was in, being an Ascended. "Yes, Jack, that's what I've been trying to tell you."

"So you came back to hang around and watch me die? Again? And again? And again?" Jack shook his head. "I didn't think you were that kind of person."

"No, that's not it, Jack."

"Then what is it, Daniel?" Jack asked. "I've already told you to shove your ascension crap up your ass," he spat out. "Either you save me or stop coming here to rub my nose in this."

Daniel turned away. He'd forgotten while he was away what a jackass Jack could be. Why couldn't Jack just open his mind and his heart to what he was offering him and join him? Stubborn mule. Just like Sam. The memory of Sam refusing to allow him to wall her out of parts of his life flashed through his head. He gripped his neck and rubbed it hard. He hadn't been able to convince Sam that time, so would he be able to convince Jack this time? He began to feel the weight of his doubt in his abilities drag him down.

"If you won't come back for your child, or for Sam, then why would you even bother coming back for me? I'm certainly not worth all this trouble," Jack said bitterly.

"My child?" Daniel asked, whipping back around to face Jack. "What're you talking about?"

"You mean you haven't done this sneaky reappearing thing on Sam yet?" Jack asked, squinting at the confused-looking Daniel. "Damn, Daniel. She's your wife." He looked off to the side. "Was your wife…"

Daniel shook his head. "I haven't had the time, Jack. I'm finding my way alone here. It took a while to get my bearings." Daniel looked at Jack. "Time really has no meaning where I'm at."

Jack snorted. "You've forgotten here it does. How come that Omac person didn't help you?" he asked.

"Oma, Jack. Oma."

"Okay, so Oh-Maaaah didn't help you after convincing you to go over to the Dark Side? And for all this time you've just been wandering around the nether regions of…," Jack waved his hands around, "of where the hell it is that you've been hiding at?"

Daniel ignored Jack and his expression slowly changed from confusion to disbelief. "Is Sam really pregnant?"

It was Jack's turn to shake his head in disbelief. "I thought all you ascended types were supposed to be all-knowing," he muttered under his breath.

Daniel shook his head. "No. Yes. But no." He sighed and gave Jack an exasperated look. "When did she become pregnant?"

"How should I know?" Jack asked indignantly. "I wasn't the one having sex with her, you know."

"How far along is she, Jack?" Daniel pressed.

Jack glared at him. "I don't keep track of those kinds of things, Daniel," he answered sharply. Jack immediately looked down, regretting his tone. "Sam… she was getting close before… before I got caught up in this mess," he offered apologetically. "I really don't know… seven months? Eight? I've lost all track of time since I've been here."

Daniel shut his eyes tightly, trying to focus on Sam and to touch her consciousness. He concentrated all of his awareness on her, but he couldn't make a connection. Was something wrong? He thought about leaving Jack right now and going to her. He heard the click of the machinery that would change the gravitation field in Jack's cell. He heard Jack groan in anticipation of another session with Ba'al. It was time to go.

As Daniel faded away, he saw Jack's anguished look at him and it reached in and made him realize he had to do something now. If he waited much longer, Jack would be beyond all help, no matter what action he, Daniel, chose. He centered his energy on Teal'c and felt an immediate link.

Time to try to let the cavalry know how to rescue Jack.

-----------------

Janet shook her head at Sam. "You're over thirty-five now, Sam, and in a demanding job. Remember I told you it put you at risk."

Sam rolled her eyes. Janet had been after her for a while to put her feet up, to go home, to at least go to her quarters on base and rest. But she just couldn't sit still for long. She had to be here and in on the action. "But other women have demanding jobs, Janet."

Janet shrugged. "Besides the fact that you refused to follow my orders, the best I can determine it was that you had cervical insufficiency. Even if you had been taking it easier," Janet emphasized the word easier, "your cervix had become too short recently and it couldn't bear it any longer." She eyed Sam. "Why didn't you tell me about the pains you must have been having?"

"You said back pain and pressure was normal," Sam reminded her.

Janet screwed her mouth up into a puckered frown, but she didn't say anything.

"The baby?" Sam asked, ignoring Janet's expression and looking over at the bassinet in the corner.

A bright smile broke out across Janet's face as she followed Sam's gaze. "She's doing fine. Her APGAR scores are exactly where they should be." Janet watched as the afterbirth was delivered and she felt around Sam's abdomen. She nodded at the nurse waiting nearby and took off her bloody gloves. She walked around to Sam's side and smoothed her wet hair back. "You wouldn't tell me what name you'd chosen. So, who will she be?" Janet asked softly.

"Judith," Sam said, wincing as another small contraction caught her off-guard.

"For?" Janet asked.

"My mother," Sam explained, as Janet nodded in understanding.

"Any middle name?"

"Claire for Daniel's mother."

Janet looked thoughtfully at the bassinet. "Judith Claire Jackson. That has a nice ring to it."

Sam cleared her throat to recapture Janet's attention. "Judith Claire Carter Jackson."

Janet raised an eyebrow. "Hyphenated?"

Sam shook her head.

"Okay then," Janet said slowly, shaking her head. "Want the birth registration papers now or later? They're still busy with… with Judith." She waved at the two nurses who were flitting around the waving limbs of Sam's newborn daughter.

"Might as well do it now."

-----------------

Daniel wandered down the hall toward Sam's quarters. Teal'c had been in the middle of kel'no'reeming, and Daniel hadn't wanted to disturb him, so he'd wandered through the building in search of his wife. Sam hadn't been in her office, nor in the infirmary with Janet. He could have willed his energy to each of these places, but he wanted to see the base for himself, to feel again what he'd left behind.

He materialized on the other side of the door to Sam's quarters. She was propped up in bed, asleep. A nurse was in the corner of the room bent down over a portable layette. Daniel walked over and looked with surprise at the small infant it contained.

Was this his child? But Jack had said seven or eight months. Sam must have delivered early. Was the baby okay? He counted ten perfect little toes and ten perfect little fingers. He looked at the pink cap. He had a daughter? Her color was good, a slightly deeper pink than her cap. She seemed okay.

The baby opened her eyes and Daniel found that he was peering into a set of eyes as piercing blue as his own. He smiled. "Hi, little one, what's your name?" he asked bending close to her.

The baby's eyes tracked him as he moved closer. He wasn't consciously choosing to appear to her - how could she see him? He reached out a hand to brush her cheek. He frowned as his hand slid through her. Damn. He hated this part the most of all the facets of ascension - the fact that he couldn't touch anything in the corporeal world.

He could feel things, but he knew they were just sensory memories from his pre-Ascended state. The best analogy he could come up with was that it was like some kind of virtual reality game. He knew that Sam in a scientific discussion would extrapolate that all humanoid existence could be said to be a big simulator all in the mind. In fact they already had had that conversation not too long before he'd ascended. Sam had disconcerted him by asking him how he could be so sure that they weren't already living in a big simulator a la 'The Matrix.'

He walked over to her bed. Sam looked as beautiful as always, but exhausted. Her hair was longer. Longer than regulations allowed, he knew. Was she still with the SGC? She had to be or she wouldn't be here, right?

His eyes followed the peaks and valleys of her form under the thin, institutional sheets and blankets. He felt a swell of desire overtake him. God, he missed her. Pregnancy had filled her out, rounding out some of her sharper angles. Daniel thought she looked positively voluptuous.

If only he were here right now with her, in this reality. He sat down on the side of her bed and ran a hand across the back of his neck, bringing it down to grip his shoulder. He felt so torn. Here is where he should be - with her, with their daughter. Here on that lower plane of existence that some of the Ascendeds talked about so derisively, here helping to rescue Jack.

He frowned, his forehead crisscrossed by a mass of horizontal and vertical furrows. But he still had so much to learn. So much he could do as an Ascended being, as he was slowly learning.

He glanced at Sam and he swallowed hard. He missed her quiet strength and vocal support and unconditional love; there were some things that Oma and the others just couldn't give him. In fact Oma had told him that she simply could not understand his fascination with his old life if he had willingly chosen Ascension.

"Don't you ever have doubts?" he had asked Oma.

She stared at him uncomprehendingly.

"No," he answered for himself, "of course you don't."

Daniel stood up and turned back around to Sam, trying to brush his fingertips along her body. "I love you, Sam," he said, dipping his head down remorsefully. "But it's not time yet," he said, giving her one last lingering look before fading out to return to Teal'c's quarters.

-----------------

Sam woke in the morning, shaking off the last bits of a dream of Daniel. It had been so vivid. She didn't even have to shut her eyes to see him standing there beside her bed, dressed in his favorite clothes, looking as good as he had before the radiation accident.

She squeezed her eyes shut as tears sprang to her eyes; she missed him so much.

She sat up and looked over at Judith. She wished their daughter would have had the opportunity to have known her father. Sam's head dropped and her shoulders sagged. She had often imagined the past several months of how wonderful a father Daniel would have been. So much more of an understanding and patient parent than she feared she was going to be. Daniel would have been their daughter's Judith to her Jacob.

A wry smile flickered over her lips. And now, just like her father, she'd be a single parent too. She shivered. There were too many similarities there that she just didn't want to think about right now.

"Are you okay, Major?" Sam heard the nurse ask.

Sam nodded. "Just thinking, that's all. How is she?"

The nurse smiled. "Fine, just fine. Hungry, I do believe, although she woke up a few minutes ago and was looking around. She didn't cry, so I didn't want to wake you yet."

Sam smiled. That was their child alright. Inquisitive and observant, and eager to make sense out of a disorganized world. "I'll take her now," Sam said, looking with pride at her daughter.

-----------------

Sam came to a halt in front of Jack, standing there, hands on hips, trying to catch her breath after the exertion that a quick jog through the park had put on her out-of-shape body. She watched as Jack looked up at her, tenderly holding her infant daughter close to his chest so she could hear his heart beat. She pictured Jack holding his son as a baby and realized with a start how much Charlie's death must have affected him. It had killed her to let go of Daniel; she wasn't sure how she'd go on if something happened to Judith. She had a new respect for Jack.

"Feel better now?" Jack asked.

Sam swiped a hand across her sweaty forehead and nodded. "I needed this. Thanks."

Jack gave her a small smile and looked back down at the sleeping baby in his arms. "Anytime, Carter. Anytime."

Sam dropped down onto the blanket beside him and took a long swig of water. "Why won't you call me Sam?" she asked.

Jack eyed her. "And why won't you call me Jack?"

She leaned over to kiss her sleeping daughter's chubby cheek and reached into Jack's arms to pick her up.

Jack lifted his elbow defensively. "Ah, ah, ahhh," he said.

Sam shook her head at him and dropped down onto her back. A comfortable quietness descended on them, their breathing falling into an easy rhythm. Sam shut her eyes and relaxed.

"Ready to come back?" Jack asked.

Sam opened her eyes to stare up into the multi-colored layers of leaves fluttering in the tree above her. "Surprisingly, no," she answered.

Jack chuckled. "Told you so."

Sam turned to her side to face Jack. "I know you did, and I sooooo wanted to prove you wrong," she laughed, watching as Jack carefully laid Judith on her stomach near her. Sam thought again about the kind of father Jack must have been to his only child. She hadn't gotten to see this side of Jack very often - only with Skaara had she caught the briefest of glimpses of the kind of relationship Jack must have had with his son. She looked at Judith. "But once she was here…" Sam gently massaged her infant daughter's tiny fingers. "I can't imagine having come back immediately."

"It is a gift," Jack agreed, carefully smoothing the child's wispy curls.

"Jack?"

He nodded his attention.

"You were really close to your son, weren't you?" Sam asked.

A pained look permeated his face. "Charlie was something else…" Jack said, and he flipped onto his back. "Why'd you bring that up, Carter?"

"I don't know," she said hesitantly. "It's just that you seem so good with Judith that I can imagine how you must have been with your son."

Jack grimaced. "I could have been better. Should have been home with him more… but there were times I didn't have any control over that," he said quietly.

"I know," Sam said softly.

Jack shut his eyes. "Sarah and Charlie were all that kept me going, especially during those times when I was in…"

Sam shook her head. "You don't have to talk about it. It's okay…"

Jack turned over to face Sam and Judith. As his hand lingered over Judith's arm, his eyes were moist. "What about you, Sam? How are you?"

It was Sam's turn to be uncomfortable. She still hadn't become completely use to the idea of her commanding officer as her best male friend, although that was what he had become. Daniel had always been that since the beginning of her tenure at the SGC. And dealing with an emotional Jack was just… different.

"I don't know," she admitted. "I miss him, Jack." She looked wistfully at her slumbering daughter. "I can't help but think about what it would have been like if he had been here and if he had known." She teared up as she talked about her daughter's father. "He would have been so…"

"…so proud of her," Jack finished.

"That too," she said, sniffing. "He would have been a great father, Jack." A tear streamed down her cheek, and she fell onto her back again, rubbing her palm across her eyes. "Damn, I didn't mean for this to become a cryfest."

"Hormones still out of whack?" Jack asked dryly.

Sam turned her head to look at him. His innocent expression contrasted with his dig at her. "Well, if the excuse fits, keep it," Sam said. "So what's your excuse?"

Jack's eyes widened at her retort, and he smiled. "Being around my hormonal two-I-C," he quipped.

Sam stood up and made a face at him. She started to gather all of the bags and totes she'd brought with her while Jack picked up and cradled the still-sleeping Judith. After she piled them together, she stood up to watch Jack with Judith. He was rocking her gently back and forth.

"What?" he asked, looking up at Sam to find he was being watched closely.

"Sure you wouldn't want to be a father again?" Sam asked softly.

Jack's cheeks became uncharacteristically flushed. "No, Carter, you have enough on your plate as it is – you don't need a relationship with me on top of it all."

Sam blushed. "Uh, Jack, I was talking in general."

Jack reddened. "Oh." He gave Sam a tender look, tinged with regret. "Answering in general - only if it were with the right woman." He bent down to kiss the top of Sam's forehead and carefully passed Judith back to her. "But that ain't gonna happen," he said quietly. He busied himself by picking up Sam's bags and walking them to her car, leaving Sam to stare at him.

Sam drove home dumbfounded at what she thought Jack had inferred. He'd been a lifesaver for her, along with Cassie and Janet. She just hadn't thought about him romantically at all. Not since that time they'd been stuck under the surface of that planet. She should have guessed; he'd been treating her with a respectful gentleness that hadn't been there before. But she'd just assumed it was his reaction to Daniel's death and his attachment to Judith. She shook off any romantic thoughts of her own - Jack was right. She so didn't need a relationship right now. She needed a nanny was what she needed.

-----------------

Sam winced in pain.

"What?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Sam said.

"Get some rest. That's an order," Jack said in a concerned tone.

Jack felt Sam lean her head on his shoulder. He wondered what Nirrti had done to her. It figured that on Sam's first field mission since returning from maternity leave they'd get stuck in this kind of mess.

Behind them Lt. Colonel Evanov began to spit up water. Jack's heart sank. It was happening again. He turned around in time to watch Evanov turn dissipate into water.

Sam turned back to Jack, her eyes wide with worry. "Jack…"

Jack shook his head. He didn't want to think about Sam running through his fingers like water. "No, Carter. Nirrti couldn't have done that to you. I know it."

Sam shook her head, sweat beads forming more thickly on her forehead. "I don't know."

Jack pulled her close, to lean her body against his again. "Rest, Carter."

Sam sighed and complied. "Jack?" she whispered. "If something happens… you'll take care of Judith?"

Jack swallowed and nodded. "Anything you want," he promised.

-----------------

Janet smiled as Cassie and Sam whooped and hollered at Judith who was wobbling her way to the end of the sandbox. She turned toward Jack. "You'd make a great father," she said.

Jack's smile disappeared. "I was," he said.

Janet winced, remembering Charlie. "Sorry."

Jack shook his head. "I know what you meant."

"Jack - you've been spending a lot of time with Sam lately," Janet observed.

"With JC," Jack pointed out.

"Jack, you know what I mean," Janet said, pursing her lips at him.

Jack gave Janet a hard stare. "I do, and there's nothing going on."

Janet softly snorted and gave him a challenging look in response.

Jack squinted at her. "I don't need a relationship right now, Doctor. Neither does Sam. Too complicated. Too messy." He looked around the park and up into the sky. "Besides, what if Jackson does come back?"

Janet gave him a knowing look.

"What?" Jack asked.

"You still have feelings for her, don't you?" she asked.

Jack shot her a warning glance. "Don't go there, don't go there…"

Janet sighed.

Jack watched as Sam laughed at Judith's antics. "She still needs support right now; not emotional baggage," he said quietly. He looked at Janet. "I'm here for her, just like you are. Teal'c is too. We'll all help Sam through this, and JC will have one big, happy family."

Janet watched her friend. "That she will."

-----------------

Colonel Reynolds grinned at the newly-arrived SG-1. "Come and see what we found," he said, waving them down to a large courtyard.

Sam followed at the tail end of the group. What was Reynolds grinning so widely about? She scanned the villagers milling about the airy courtyard. There didn't seem to be anything that interesting going on... until a brown-haired man in blue robes turned around to face them.

"Daniel?" Jack asked, his voice cracking with disbelief.

Sam's mouth dropped open. He was dead. He was ascended. He was here?!

SG-1's guide, Khordib, cleared his throat. "Arrom," he said, indicating Daniel. "We call him Arrom. It means naked one."

Jack looked at Khordib sharply.

Their guide shrugged petulantly. "That is how we found him in the forest, two moons ago."

Ignoring the conversation, Sam walked past Jack and the others toward the confused-looking Daniel. She didn't want to believe it was actually him. She reached out her hand to touch his shoulder to reassure herself that he really was here and not a hallucination. "Daniel," she said, "It's okay. It's me, Sa…."

Daniel put his hand up and kept her from touching him, a hard look on his face.

Sam's mouth fell open and her eyes glazed over in pain. He was pushing her away? She was his wife, his lover, his best friend, for goodness sake. What was wrong with him? She stood before him, open-mouthed.

"Do you not recognize us, Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked.

"I'm sorry," Daniel said sharply, leaving them to turn around to watch him walk past them.

-----------------

Sam entered the tent while Jack stood outside waiting for her.

"Please leave me alone," Daniel told her.

Sam felt like she had been slapped. "Why? Don't you want to know who you are?"

"Yes, but no, not really."

She shook her head uncomprehendingly at her husband who couldn't remember who she was.

"Don't you understand? What if I don't like who I was?" Daniel asked. "What if I don't want to be that person? What if I don't have it in me to make up for something I've done wrong?"

Sam swallowed hard. What if he didn't want to be married to her? What if he didn't want to be the Daniel he had been? "I have to admit, that never occurred to me," she said. "Look, we all thought we'd lost you at one point." Sam's look became intense and she chose her words carefully. "Your death was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. Daniel - you were - you are - brilliant. One of the most caring, passionate…" A blush rose to her cheek as she remembered some of his more passionate moments. She stopped herself and smiled at him. "You're the type of person who would give his own life for someone he doesn't even know."

Daniel returned the smile slightly. "Well, that doesn't sound so bad."

"Daniel, if you had one fault, it was that you wanted to save people so badly, you wanted to help people so much, that it tore you apart when you couldn't make a difference." She looked at him with a look akin to love.

Daniel was shaken by the intimacy of her look, and he looked away. "That actually sounds kind of hard to live up to."

Sam shook her head. "All I know is that if I were you, I would definitely want to get to know me - you," she said softly.

Daniel looked closely at her as she fought to keep her eyes from searching his. "Now how do I know you?" Daniel asked. He watched as a hundred kinds of pain flickered through the eyes of the blonde-haired woman in front of him.

"You really don't know me?" she asked as Jack entered the tent.

As she searched his eyes for the slightest bit of recognition, Daniel felt compassion for this woman whose sad eyes so desperately were trying to will knowledge into his. He sighed and looked away. No matter how much she wanted him to know her, he couldn't. She couldn't have any idea of how frustrated he was that he didn't know any of these people who so obviously and intimately knew him. He shook his head and squinted at her. "No."

"Daniel, I'm your…" she paused. "Daniel, it's Sam, can't you remember me?" she asked, her eyes glistening.

He shook his head again. "No. I don't know any of you, should I?"

Sam bit back a low cry and shot to her feet, disappearing out of the tent.

Daniel watched her leave, a feeling of sadness coming over him that he was causing this beautiful woman so much obvious pain, but he honestly didn't know any of them. He wanted to trust them, he'd learned it was part of his nature to do so, but he'd learned quickly during his two months with the villagers of Vis Uban that not everyone could be trusted.

He turned to Jack. Sitting cross-legged on the ground nearby, Jack had turned slightly away from them during his conversation with the woman. A painful wince was still on his face.

"Jim?" Daniel asked.

"Jack."

"Jack?" he asked.

Jack nodded his head. "Daniel?"

"Who is she? Really? Was there something between us?"

Jack looked at the rays of light shining in from the tent entrance, his profile sharply backlit by the bright light. "That, Daniel, is Sam. Major Samantha Carter, U.S. Air Force, my second-in-command on the SG-1 team." He turned back to Daniel. "That… that woman is also Samantha Jackson, Daniel. Your wife."

Daniel sagged and bent his head forward, rubbing his hand through the shock of hair at the edge of his forehead. If what Jack said was true, then why was he here? Why wasn't he with this team of Jack's? Why wasn't he there with the woman with the large blue eyes? Why?

"Why?" he muttered quietly.

Jack kicked at a pile of stacked blankets nearby as he stretched his legs out. "Why what, Daniel?"

Daniel looked up at him. His hooded eyes hid the pain lurking in the shadows of his face. "Why, Jack? Why am I here? If I'm who you say I am, then why am I here and not with this team of yours? Why can't I remember any of this?" Daniel stopped. "You think I'd remember being married, damn it!" he exploded. He bent his head back down and rubbed it again.

Jack didn't respond.

Daniel's head shot up in the direction of the tent opening. "Is there anything else I should know? Any dark secrets? Is there any good news at all?"

Jack was hesitant. "Well…"

Daniels eyes flashed in the light. "Well, what?"

Jack looked uncomfortable as he committed to answering Daniel's question. "There's some good news - JC is…"

"What's a JC?" Daniel interrupted angrily.

"Judith Claire, your daughter," Jack explained. "With Sam."

Daniel's eyes snapped shut and he pursed his lips together. A wife and a daughter. A team. A reason for being and he didn't remember a damn bit of it.

"Come back with us," Jack said. "The only way you're going to remember is if you're there to see all this - you're never going to get it with us just telling you about it."

Daniel considered the thought, his mouth a firm line and his forehead furrowed. "I'll think about it."

Jack shook his head as he left the tent. "Think fast."

-----------------

Jack peered in the door to the VIP guest quarters that Daniel would be staying in. "It's not exactly home, but we unpacked some of your stuff from your old office, and Sam brought in some stuff from home," he said as Daniel walked in.

"All this was kept even though you thought I was dead?" he asked, examining an ancient Egyptian tablet.

"To be honest, we started to toss out a ton of junk… until Sam stopped us," Jack explained as Daniel moved to the framed photographs on the nightstand.

Daniel peered down at the pictures. He gave a cursory look to the picture of Sam and the chubby-cheeked infant she held; he was more interested in the picture of the dark-haired woman in the desert garb. He stared at the picture. "I know her," Daniel said.

"Really?" Jack asked.

"I mean, I must, right?"

"Yeah, you should," Jack answered. "And her and her too," he said pointing at the picture Daniel had left sitting on the nightstand.

"Who is she?" Daniel asked, holding the picture of the dark-haired woman out to him. "What's her name?"

"You tell me," Jack said, giving Daniel a challenging glare and leaving the room.

-----------------

Daniel knocked on Teal'c's door. "Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?"

"You are not," Teal'c said, bowing his head. "I am unable to kel'noreem as I once did since I began using tretonin."

"Well, that sounds complicated."

"Indeed. Enter," Teal'c said, getting up off the floor to sit on his bed.

Daniel sat down in a nearby chair and held out a photo that Jack had given him. "Her name is Sha're," he said proudly as Teal'c nodded his head. "No one told me that - I remembered that by myself. I dreamed about her and when I woke up, I knew her name."

"That is good news, Daniel Jackson."

"Yeah, it's the first time I've believed I might have a chance. You know? If I can remember a name, then there's a chance it's all in there somewhere, right?" Daniel asked. Maybe he'd remember having a wife and a daughter and not feel so uncomfortable about it.

"Indeed."

"So where is this Sha're?" Daniel asked. He watched as Teal'c's face turned sad. "Dead?" he asked. It would make sense if he was married to Sam. He couldn't have two wives, could he? What religion did he practice, he wondered. He'd better check first thing in the morning.

Teal'c nodded. "She is."

"And I loved her very much?" Daniel asked quietly, laying the photograph down.

Teal'c considered his friend. "With a passion equal to that which you displayed for your current wife," he responded.

Daniel took a deep breath. He wasn't going down that path this moment. "This being, Oma Desala, is supposedly very powerful, right?" Daniel asked, his voice having lost its softness.

"That is correct."

"Why would she do this? I mean, if she wanted me to forget…"

"You often spoke of the rules to which you were subjugated as one of the Ascended. Perhaps she was required to erase your memories by laws of the Others, but as your friend and mentor, she wished for you one day to regain it."

"You're saying she cheated? You think she found a way around the rules?"

"Do you not believe it wise to remember on your own accord?" Teal'c asked.

"No. I need to know why this is happening to me." That and he knew in his heart that he needed to regain his memories of his relationship with Sam, and quickly. He'd started having bursts of other memories. Languages that he couldn't decipher. Languages he could speak but he didn't know what he was saying. He woke from the dreams frustrated at his lack of understanding. He hated to think of the consequences of what he was doing now to these people who so obviously cared for him.

-----------------

Daniel knew this baby. He didn't know why, but he did. Those direct, no-nonsense eyes dared him to remember, dared him to play. He kicked at ball on the floor that Janet had brought in for him to use. She was insisting that Daniel spend time with the child to help trigger memories. Daniel jumped when the toddler's piercing blue eyes refocused, distracted by something behind him.

"She's a cutie, isn't she?" he heard Jack say.

Daniel nodded. That she was.

Jack crouched down beside Judith and made a silly face for her. She giggled in delight and reached out for Jack. "Pip! Pip!" she crowed.

"Okay, JC," Jack laughed, picking her up and making another face for her. "Still can't decide whose eyes those are, yours or Carter's."

Those eyes. Daniel realized with a start that that was what he was certain he'd seen before - those eyes. He shook the feeling away. He couldn't have. Judith was only fourteen months old. He'd only recently started to regain pre-Ascension memories, but they were spotty.

He frowned; that spottiness hadn't helped his relationship with Sam. He was still living on base, and he knew it was killing her that he wasn't acknowledging anything about his former relationship with her or that Judith was his own. He couldn't help it; he just couldn't establish a connection to them. He wanted to; he just couldn't – there was nothing there.

"Hello? Earth to Daniel. Earth to Daniel," Jack said, waving a free hand in front of Daniel's face, an action at which Judith giggled in delight.

Daniel blinked. "I'm sorry. What?"

"I said you apparently can't decide either."

"No… uh, I don't know. I wasn't paying attention," Daniel said.

Jack jiggled Judith up and down, shaking his head and sticking his tongue out at her.

"It just feels like I've seen the child before," Daniel mused aloud. "But I couldn't have – she wasn't here when I ascended." He frowned. "But I swear I've seen her before…"

Jack set Judith carefully down near her toys. "You might have," Jack said quietly.

"How?" Daniel asked.

"You've read through the mission reports from when you were gone?" Jack asked.

Daniel gave him a half-shrug. "I've tried to. Many of them don't make much sense to me."

Jack's face turned darker. "You read the one where I got snaked? And took a long vacation at Ba'al's place?"

Daniel shook his head.

"Good then - don't. There's nothing to read in that one," Jack said emphatically. He glowered, a far-away look in his eyes. "You were Ascended, Daniel, and you were there. You kept coming back, trying to convince me to give up on life and to ascend with you."

"It didn't work, did it?" Daniel asked.

"I'm still here…" Jack said. "But you were there with me, and then you disappeared for a long time. Then the team rescued me." He looked at Daniel. "While you were gone, you came back here."

"I couldn't have."

"You did," Jack told him.

"You can't know that," Daniel said.

"But Teal'c does. You came back and spoke to him."

"Oh…"

"You don't remember any of it?" Jack asked.

Daniel shook his head. "I probably never will. I don't think I'm supposed to be remembering any of this to be honest with you. Oma probably bent the rules too far by giving me back what she did."

"Damn Ascendeds," Jack muttered.

"Yeah, I guess," Daniel said.

Judith pulled on Jack's pants, opening and closing her hands at him. "Pip, pip!" she insisted.

"She's certainly attached to you," Daniel observed.

"Yeah. She loves her Uncle Jack," he said, bending down to pick her up again.

"Sure she's not yours?" Daniel asked bluntly, recalling vague memories that had bothered him in sleep the evening before.

Leaving Judith on the floor, Jack shot up and glared at his friend. "Hell no!" he said. "This is still about P3R-118, isn't it?" He shook his head. "Judith is yours, Daniel. All YOURS."

"What's P3R-118?" Daniel asked.

Jack looked confused. "You don't remember?"

"No. Should I?" Daniel asked, equally confused.

Jack looked distressed, torn between telling Daniel to drop the subject and telling him the truth. He grimaced. "Let's just leave it at that none of us were in our right minds during that mission. Literally."

Daniel's head furrowed.

Jack reached down and ruffled Judith's wispy blonde hair. "When you remember - if you remember - then come talk to me, Daniel. Right now you've got other things you really need to remember," he said, looking at Daniel and back down at Judith.

Straightening up, Jack headed for the door of Daniel's guest quarters. "Get out of here, Daniel," Jack said, waving his hands at the base walls. "Go outside. Go home. Go be with Sam. Enjoy what was returned to you. Remember the good things." He shook his head as he stood in the doorway. "Some men should be so lucky," he said quietly before turning heel and leaving.

-----------------

"But isn't that what the human condition is all about?" Daniel asked. "Trying to find your place in the grand scheme of things and figure out what the whole scheme is about to begin with?"

Sam stiffened. "I don't care about the human condition. I'm not interested in debating you any more, Daniel. Forget the big picture for once." She glared at him. "Focus on me. I don't care how much history you know. I want you to know OUR history. I want you to remember me, damn it!"

Embarrassed, Daniel looked away. "I do remember you."

"So, what's the problem?"

"I just don't remember us."

Sam threw her hands up in exasperation. "Then why'd you come home, Daniel? Huh? Why?"

Daniel took off his glasses to fiddle with his nose pads. "Because."

"Because why?" Sam pushed. "If you find us - find me - so distasteful, why waste your time here?" she asked bitterly.

"Because Jack told me to," Daniel answered quietly. "He said some things that got me thinking."

"Apparently not hard enough," Sam spat back. She'd had enough of it. She was tired of hearing about Sha're. Tired of feeling that Oma had intentionally blocked Daniel's memory of her. It'd been several months since he'd rejoined SG-1 and he'd regained most of his memory; she wasn't going to force the issue anymore. "Just go, Daniel."

Daniel flinched.

Sam turned away from him. "I'm serious, Daniel. Just go. You were gone for over - what? - a year, year and a half? We got along just fine without you."

Daniel sucked in his breath. He didn't need this. Why had he taken Jack's advice in the first place? It was becoming obvious to him that if he couldn't regain this part of his life, there wasn't going to be a future with Sam. She was too resistant, and all he could remember was the love he had for his dead wife. He began to walk towards the front door and stopped just short of it. "Sam, what do you want me to say? I'm sorry? I AM sorry. You don't have any idea of just how sorry I am. What do you want me to do? Lie to you? I can't do it. It's not fair. Not to you. Not to me. Not to…"

"Say it, Daniel," Sam said angrily. "Your daughter. Say it."

Daniel shut his eyes, trying to control his own anger. "Sam, do you know what this is like? Huge chunks of my life are gone. Vanished. I don't know if I'll ever get those memories back." He pursed his lips, his brows knitting in agitation. "And everyone insisting 'you have to remember this' and 'you have to remember that.' Well, I'm trying, damn it, I'm trying. And it's just not coming back." He gestured wildly with his hands, biting his words out. He stopped, his emotions spent. When Sam didn't answer him, he turned to the door, opening it. "If you need anything I'll be in my quarters back on base," he said before exiting.

Sam snorted as Daniel slammed the door shut. 'What the hell would I need from you now?' she thought angrily as she walked back to wake Judith from her nap.

-----------------

Daniel blinked as Atteria slumped in her husband's arms; after a hard fight her spirit had left her damaged body. Her husband looked up at Daniel with a mix of pain and anguish that he remembered only too well from his recovered memories of his wife, Sha're. Lowering his eyes, he exited the small room to allow the man time to mourn without the distraction Daniel knew he was giving him and his family.

He sat down on the bottom step of the stairs, shutting his eyes as he heard the woman's family and friends wailing at their loss. His head dropped forward; SG-1 had arrived too late. One of Anubis' Jaffa contigents had come through Genobia the day before SG-1 had arrived; Atteria had been caught in the crossfire when the Genobians had tried to take a stand against the intruders. All they could do for her was to offer her drugs to ease her pain, which she had refused.

A gut-wrenching cry tore through the small house; it was her husband. Daniel swallowed hard and removed his glasses to rub his eyes; the aching, still tangible sense of loss and longing from his own experiences haunting him. He remembered sitting at a bedside, holding his wife's hand, knowing she was gone – he'd wanted to scream like Atteria's husband had, but he'd kept it pent up inside him. He remembered the beeping and blinking machines that had kept her alive and his helplessness to do anything for her. He remembered watching as she was shot with a zat. The memory became clearer in his mind as it played itself out again. Daniel nearly choked. It wasn't Sha're. Jack hadn't killed Sha're. Teal'c had. It wasn't Sha're he was remembering. It was Sam.

He shivered and inhaled deeply as wave after wave of deeply buried memories erupted and flooded his mind. Sam's long legs intertwined with his on lazy Saturday mornings… Her crisp professionalism when they were out in the field no matter how much he'd tried to tempt her out of it… Her surprisingly girlish giggling… The intense discussions that he'd only been able to have with her… His desire for her and his overwhelming need to be with her and share his life, his love with her…

He buried his head in his hands. "Oh, Sam…" he whispered.

-----------------

"Yes?" Sam asked testily.

"Hi, Sam," Daniel said, looking past Sam and into her house - their house, wanting so badly to rush in and become reacquainted with everything that he now clearly remembered.

Sam stood her ground, crossing her arms.

Daniel lowered his eyes down to the rug in front of the door and sighed. He realized he'd been a jerk since his return. She had every right to be angry at him for having shunted her aside and ignored her. "May I come in?" he asked meekly.

Before Sam could answer, Judith ran up behind her, grabbing her leg and peeking around her at Daniel.

Daniel smiled at her and squatted down in front of the door. It was disconcerting to see his eyes peering back at him from the concerned face of a chubby toddler. Not a chubby toddler, he chided himself - this was his daughter. His beautiful daughter. "Judith Claire…" he called out softly.

Judith's eyes widened, and she quickly hid behind Sam's legs.

"Judith, I have a present for you," Daniel said in a sing-song voice. "Her name's Claire Bear, just for Judith Claire, if she does dare."

Still safely ensconced behind her mother's legs, Judith slowly poked her head out far enough to cast a wary eye at him. She didn't look too enthused about seeing him and was quietly assessing him. Daniel sucked his lips in. He knew she'd picked up on his distance and indifference too. He had a lot of making up to do with both of the women in his life. "She really wants to meet you," he said sorrowfully. "Honest. She's feeling quite sad right now…" Daniel pouted and shook the teddy bear's head in a pitiful manner.

Judith edged her way along Sam's leg toward Daniel. "Care Bear?" she asked.

"No," Daniel said, "Claire Bear - like you're Judith Claire."

Judith quickly jumped the last few inches to Daniel and grabbed the bear, running back down the hallway.

"Judith, what do you say to…," Sam called out, giving Daniel an appraising look, "…to your father?"

"T'ank you," a muffled voice came from the kitchen.

Daniel straightened up and gave Sam a look of longing that took her by surprise. He hadn't looked at her like that… since before the radiation accident. He'd acted strangely earlier in the day, after he'd rejoined the team after the Genobian woman's death, but she'd chalked it up to his sensitive soul and the aftereffects of watching yet another innocent die.

She searched his eyes. There was a recognition there now that hadn't been there since his return. And there was sorrow. And desire. And love… "Daniel?" she asked.

Daniel smiled. "Sam," he said, reaching out for her. "I missed you so damn much!" He held her tightly.

Sam hesitated to return the hug. Was it really him? Or had he just gone back and read through his journals?

Daniel sensed her hesitation. "I remember, Sam. I remember," he whispered, nodding. He buried his head into her shoulder. "I remember…"

-----------------

Daniel stood in the family room in Jack's house, his lips pursed as he watched the SG-1 team commander out on his deck, gesturing animatedly to Sam as he turned hot dogs on the grill. Jack had insisted on hosting a cookout after Daniel was checked out and released from the infirmary after being injured on Tegalus after being caught up in the disagreement between the Caledonians and the Rand. Daniel hadn't really wanted to come; he was still trying to spend as much time alone with his family as he could, doing his best to make up for the year that he missed out on. He felt selfish about that desire, but it was just how he felt these days.

He watched as Sam laughed at Jack and adjusted the napping Judith in her lap. Jack grabbed a blanket from the chair next to Sam and tucked it under her arm to support the little girl. They looked so comfortable together. Too damn comfortable, he thought miserably.

Janet followed Daniel's line of sight and gave Teal'c a quick look.

Daniel caught their look. "So there was something?" he asked quietly.

Janet shook her head as she poured the chips into a deep bowl. "No, Daniel, there wasn't. Not in the way I think you're thinking. Jack helped Sam with Judith just like we all did."

"Indeed," Teal'c said.

Daniel looked doubtful and shook his head.

Teal'c eyed his friend. "Daniel Jackson, do not doubt your wife's love for you or the honor and friendship of Jack O'Neill."

Daniel opened his mouth to bring up the tangled relationships of P3R-118, but thought better of it. Teal'c had never indicated that he knew what had happened, so Daniel had to assume he didn't. He looked away. He wasn't sure why he still let it bother him. It was long ago in their past; why was he still so full of doubts? He had to trust his closest friends and to believe them when they said nothing had happened between his wife and best friend while he was ascended.

"I guess I'm just jealous," he told them as he turned away from the window. "Jack got to be there when Judith had so many formative events. I can't go back and remember things like that."

Janet gave Daniel a sympathetic smile. "I know," she said, giving his shoulder a quick rub. "We took plenty of pictures though."

Daniel nodded. "I know. It's just that…"

Teal'c gave his friend a reproachful look, dipping his head respectfully in Daniel's direction. "Be thankful Daniel Jackson, that you have even this time with your child. I was not so fortunate with R'yac."

Daniel blinked. Teal'c had a point. What was he whining about, especially in comparison to the lengthy forced separations from his son that Teal'c had had to suffer? He pushed away the doubts and negative thoughts that were plaguing him. "Sorry. Guess I need to let it go, huh?"

Janet nodded at him and held out a plate of raw hamburgers to be grilled. "I think Jack's ready for these now," she said to him.

Daniel accepted the plate and nodded. Time to let bygones be just that.

-----------------

"It doesn't make much sense," Sam said to her father as she stared at the glyphs on the wall. 'Midday, the darkness is high in the sky,' the most important string of glyphs read. The quote seemed like one of those cryptic sayings that Oma Desala would have teased Daniel with.

"Yeah, well neither does, 'the wind blows on the pillow' or 'three days to the chicken.' But that's what these phrases apparently translate into," Jacob Carter told his daughter, waving one of Daniel's notebooks at the Post-It notes stuck to the Dakaran temple's wall.

"Are you saying this whole wall of writing is nonsense?" Sam asked.

"I don't know what I'm saying," her father said.

"Is it possible you made a mistake?" Sam asked.

Her father held Daniel's book out to her, and Sel'mak answered in his stead. "Would you care to try?" Sel'mak asked a bit sharply.

Sam shook her head, turning back to the wall. She picked up another notebook from the floor and scanned across the characters. Damn, they seemed like so much gibberish; she should have taken Daniel up on his offer to fully learn Ancient when she'd had the chance.

She heard Sel'mak's flanged voice again. "The text is quite difficult, and if there is an organizing principle to Dr. Jackson's notes, I have yet to discover it."

Sam smiled. "Yeah, he certainly has his own system," she said. Free form thoughts scribbled down as fast as he could write them before they disappeared into the ether. Classic Daniel Jackson. She grinned at her father and turned back to study the wall.

-----------------

"It would be much easier on both of us if you did not resist," Replicarter told him.

"Why, why, why, why, in the wide world of all things rational and sane, would I help you?" Daniel asked. Forget that she was an exact replica of the woman he held most dear to his heart.

"Because deep down you also want the knowledge I seek," she told him smugly.

"Yes, but the problem is anything I learn, I won't be able to put to much use because right after I'm done, you're going to kill me," Daniel said.

"What if I promised not to?" she asked.

"Yeah," Daniel laughed. This was the machine that had double-crossed her human alter ego and had used Sam's compassion against her… Right.

"Do you really think I am that different from Samantha Carter?" she asked, quickly morphing through a parade of Sams, from the first time he'd met her in the briefing room, to the blue Shavadiian dress, from the shapeless brown work clothes to the simple shift she'd worn at their wedding, from her late pregnancy blossoming to her latest look…

Daniel shivered as he was reminded how very much like Sam this Replicarter was physically. He shook it off, reminding himself that it was just a sham; a visual lie that she was trying to capture him in. "In that you're a Replicator, bent on galactic domination at the expense of all living things…" Everything that was so not Sam.

"Her thoughts, her memories, even her emotions, they are not meaningless to me. I do not wish to harm you or destroy Earth, for that matter. I could have done that already if I so desired."

Daniel squinted at her in disbelief. "You're saying you'll leave Earth untouched?"

"I promise you that," Replicarter agreed, "and your life, and that of your wife and child."

Daniel considered the thought for a moment. As tempting as it was, this was not Sam. She was not the woman he trusted with his life and his very soul. "No. I'm not going to help you. But obviously I can't do anything to stop you so… give it your best shot." He gave Replicarter a cheesy grin and shut his eyes to focus on blocking her from a small part of his mind. He just hoped Sam was being blessed by some brilliant plan while he did his best on this end.

"You still resist me," Replicarter said. "Why? Why do you not care about what you are seeing?"

Daniel frowned, his breaths shallow and quick as he tried to keep pace with the machine's lightning fast absorption of the knowledge he held deep in his brain, doing what he could to thwart her. He finally detected that she was slowing down. He opened his eyes and looked at her. "You can't handle it, can you?"

"I can," she retorted defiantly. "I just need time to process, to share it with the others."

Daniel snorted. "Like the universe, it's infinite. It's not just knowledge and information, it's understanding on a level that you will never reach."

"Why do you think that?" Replicarter asked.

"Because you're just a machine," Daniel sneered.

Replicarter returned the sneer. "So are you," she said derisively. "Just of weaker construction."

"And that's where you're wrong." Daniel smirked at her.

"We'll see," she smirked back as she read more from his subconscious.

-----------------

Sam heard gunfire outside the temple.

"What's that?" her father asked, pushing another panel down.

"Hurry," Sam told him.

"I've almost got it, just a little more time," her father responded.

"I don't think we have it." She wondered how Daniel was faring. She remembered her time aboard the Replicator mothership with Fifth. She shuddered to think that Daniel was going through what she had.

-----------------

Daniel looked at Replicater surprised. "You lied to me!" he said.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"You promised you'd leave Earth alone. There are Replicators infiltrating the SGC right now," he accused her.

"How can you know that?" Replicarter asked. She looked thoughtfully at Daniel. Daniel was amazed how much she looked like his Sam at that moment. "While I was in your mind, you were inside mine," she said.

Daniel nodded. "It took a while to figure out. Fortunately, you were too distracted to notice. Some of the Ancient knowledge really helped too, thank you."

"You tricked me."

Daniel shrugged. "You tricked me first."

"You should never have told me."

"Too late. For you that is," Daniel said.

She raised her hand to slap him, but Daniel grabbed her wrist. One more dissimilarity - his Sam would never have slapped. His Sam would've already decked him and he'd be out cold on the floor, his nose broken. "Trying to leave? Sorry," he sneered. "A little more time in Danny's world…"

"My brethren will not stop. You cannot control them."

Daniel smiled at her. "Not yet, but I'm learning."

-----------------

Sam moved to the doorway to the main temple area. "Dad?" she asked as she saw the Replicators beginning to move again.

"Almost there!" Jacob yelled back to her.

"Dad! They're on the move again!"

"Point seven six!" Jacob yelled.

"Do it!" Sam yelled back and her father activated the device. Sam watched as the building rocked and a huge energy wave rippled outward, destroying the encroaching Replicator bugs. Sam realized that the weapon would be a success and that all the Replicators would be destroyed. She thought about Daniel. If he'd been the one to gain them those precious seconds that they'd needed, and if he really was on that ship with her replicated alter ego… God be with you, she prayed, trying to send her love out to the man she loved.

-----------------

Daniel gripped Replicarter's wrist. He'd finally been able to gain control of the Replicators through her. "Got you now!"

Replicarter glared at him, struggling to remove his grip.

After a while Daniel started to slip. He wasn't able to maintain the level of control needed for too long.

Sam, who was not Sam, smiled saccharinely at him. "There are so many, aren't there? Too many for your mind to handle. It's taking all of your concentration just to control them." She yanked her wrist from his hand and the tent they had been in transformed into the Replicator ship.

Daniel felt the Replicator blocks supporting him retract back into the wall. Was she finished toying with him, he wondered.

She stepped forward and raised her hand. He felt a sharp stab through his forehead and he arched backward. Daniel screamed out for his Sam. She was all he could think about as Replicarter twisted her hand in his head, ripping memory after precious memory from him at light-speed. His eyes were wide open, but he couldn't see any more, his vision a pain-filled blur of throbbing intense white and moments of darkest black as Replicarter probed deeper. She wasn't interested in information any more; she'd gotten what she needed out of him. She was only interested in pain. In hurting him for his earlier refusal to share. For refusing to see the Sam in her. For the pleasure in it.

His head lolled slightly to the side, pinned to the wall by the slick, sharp-edged sword of a hand that she wielded in his head. He heard another scream. Was that him? He couldn't tell any more. He was having a problem discerning consciousness from sub-consciousness now. His face felt wet, but he wasn't sure if the wetness was tears or blood. He could feel himself beginning to disconnect from his sensory centers.

He didn't care now what was happening to him. He just wanted it to end. A fleeting memory of what he'd witnessed Jack experience with Ba'al was wrenched from him by Replicarter. Oh, Jack, I'm so sorry. I had no idea…

He heard Replicarter give a contemptuous laugh. "Inferior being," she said, twisting her hand as she withdrew from his head.

His connection to the support of the wall severed, Daniel took an uneasy step forward, his head lurching downward in time to see Replicarter's other hand morph into an ungodly length of steely metal. As the razor-sharp metal sliced a path through his chest and out his back, he looked up at her in disbelief. She was really doing this to him. Really doing this to him. The surprised expression slowly faded, and he sagged onto the floor, a ragged breath leaving him for the last time.

A cold emptiness began to seep into the deepest reaches of his body and soul. He gave a last look at the being in front of him - Sam, but not Sam, a hard look etched into her face - then he lowered his eyes and sent out a thought to his Sam one last time.

"I love you, Sam."

-----------------

Sam reopened her eyes and turned to her father. He was slumped against the machine. "Dad?"

"I'm alright."

"What do you think happened?" Sam asked.

"I don't know," Jacob said, sounding exhausted.

"You did it," Sam said proudly.

"Well, Sel'mak deserves a little credit. Okay, most of it," Jacob said. "And whoever it was that got those bugs to go on pause."

"Daniel," Sam said, more certain it had been him.

"You think?"

Sam nodded. The smile started to fade from her face.

"What is it, Sam?"

"Dad, I'm pretty certain he had to be on that Replicator ship to do this," Sam said, her eyes beginning to shimmer with unshed tears.

Jacob frowned as he realized what that meant. The disruptor wave likely would be reaching the ship right about now. "Maybe not," he said.

Sam shook her head; she'd lost the bond she'd had with Daniel. It only meant one thing. "He's gone," Sam said, looking down.

Jacob reached out and pulled his daughter in close for a tight hug.

-----------------

As the desolate darkness approached, the small part of Daniel's consciousness that was left wondered if giving his life up with no guaranteed Ascension this time was worth saving Sam, worth saving the others. It had been before. Was it now?

Daniel felt his soul lift as the darkness enveloped him. No matter what level of consciousness he existed at, it always had been and would always be.


End file.
